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Friday, February 23, 2024

Ew

Mitchell Cooper Vest is 6’ 6” tall, weighs 250 pounds, and is known to wear a kilt. 

Which made it easier for Texas business owners to identify Vest, 60, as the man who recently came into their antique stores and shoved various items up his rectum before placing them “back on the shelf for display,” according to Texas court records.

7 comments:

  1. Well, I hear some folks have an inclination to swallow various items and have to retrieve them from toilet later on (Mom never wore those pearl ear rings again ...) so this guy is just skipping to the conclusion of this.

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  2. Trying to figure this out...nah

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  3. Try before you buy. Practical.

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  4. I heard this story the other day on the radio. When they said the dude was wearing a kilt, I figured he was just a wacky Scotsman. Damn...

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    1. Usually I'd figure that someone who wears a kilt in Scotland is wackier than someone who wears a kilt in Texas, but this guy's real craziness isn't in how he dresses.

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  5. "Shoplifter" doesn't really describe this sort of thing and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know what does.

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    1. Legally, I guess this would fall under "vandalism", but most likely the judge will first send him to an institution to determine whether he is mentally competent to stand trial.

      Outside of the law, Archie Bunker would call him a "prevert". Also, people like him are why the staff of that institution deserves higher pay!

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