#2: Anyone with half a brain cell will eventually notice that wrench ain't bouncin' 'round like it would if it were loose. The SMART prankster will drill a hole in the bumper and weld a bolt to the wrench, feed the threads through, and tack a nut on the end so the wrench can bounce and flop, yet still not come off.
#1. A kid was hanging out in the Walmart pharmacy. An associate asked if he needed assistance. Somewhat embarrassed he replied he was looking for condoms. The associate took him to family planning and showed him what they had. Would you like the 24 pack for $17? I don't have that much. What about the 10 pack for $8.97? I only have a dollar. The clerk takes him to the register, pulls a single from the drawer and says, 99¢. I'll take it. Associate rings it up, that will be $1.07. I thought you said 99¢? What's the additional 8¢? Tax! I thought they stayed on by themselves!
#1: When in Texas, I worked with a guy that was buying his first house. He found a nice house right at the upper edge of his budget. I asked him: Has anyone talked about the escrow? He says: What is that? I explained property tax, MUD tax, insurance, mortgage insurance. He called his agent and she told him I was right. He exclaimed: Damn, I can't afford another $1000 a month. They did not close that deal.
The only real estate transactions I have been involved in where the HUD settlement statement was correct was in TN. The first house I bought had a utility encroachment for which there was a recorded variance. When I sold that property, the closing title company told me that they would not insure the title because they could not find a variance. I pulled out my certified copy and showed it to them. They called the appraisal district and the deal closed that day.
And for @Luis-NotHemingway. Sorry about the long paragraphs; but, I considered it necessary to make the point. You can ignore my post...
More good ones
ReplyDelete#6?
ReplyDeleteI don't get it.....
Kidnapped in the back of a van...
DeleteI think she got pushed into the back of a kidnapper’s van.
DeleteI hope you don't have children. Especially a little girl who loves kitties.
DeleteSilence of the Lambs.
DeleteReddit is a boiling shit pot; #20 is the shit.
ReplyDelete/GunAccessoriesForSale and /kubota are the only reasons I visit anymore.
Deletefairplayjeepguy
#16: I reply: "Sounds like a plan, but which one"?
ReplyDeleteJust be glad the cult leader isn’t gay.
Delete#6 A great reminder to talk to our kids and grandchildren once again. You can never tell them too many times.
ReplyDelete#2: Anyone with half a brain cell will eventually notice that wrench ain't bouncin' 'round like it would if it were loose. The SMART prankster will drill a hole in the bumper and weld a bolt to the wrench, feed the threads through, and tack a nut on the end so the wrench can bounce and flop, yet still not come off.
ReplyDeleteThis!
DeleteThat is devious and evil.
DeleteSaaaa-LUTE!
I would crimp a cable loop through the eye and the bumper so it can drift around and hang off at an angle. Bwahhahahahaaaaaa...
Deletephssthpok, So that was you in front of me the other day...
DeleteGoals. Had a coworker who was asked by HR, about his goals. His answer: “my goal is to have no goals”. They didn’t like him very much.
ReplyDeleteWell, SOMEBODY has to be the Designated Asshole Uncle...
ReplyDelete#1. A kid was hanging out in the Walmart pharmacy. An associate asked if he needed assistance. Somewhat embarrassed he replied he was looking for condoms. The associate took him to family planning and showed him what they had.
ReplyDeleteWould you like the 24 pack for $17?
I don't have that much.
What about the 10 pack for $8.97?
I only have a dollar.
The clerk takes him to the register, pulls a single from the drawer and says, 99¢.
I'll take it.
Associate rings it up, that will be $1.07.
I thought you said 99¢? What's the additional 8¢?
Tax!
I thought they stayed on by themselves!
#1: When in Texas, I worked with a guy that was buying his first house. He found a nice house right at the upper edge of his budget. I asked him: Has anyone talked about the escrow? He says: What is that? I explained property tax, MUD tax, insurance, mortgage insurance. He called his agent and she told him I was right. He exclaimed: Damn, I can't afford another $1000 a month. They did not close that deal.
ReplyDeleteThe only real estate transactions I have been involved in where the HUD settlement statement was correct was in TN. The first house I bought had a utility encroachment for which there was a recorded variance. When I sold that property, the closing title company told me that they would not insure the title because they could not find a variance. I pulled out my certified copy and showed it to them. They called the appraisal district and the deal closed that day.
And for @Luis-NotHemingway. Sorry about the long paragraphs; but, I considered it necessary to make the point. You can ignore my post...