*
HOPKINSVILLE, KY. (WZTV) — The Hopkinsville Police Department (HPD) reports the arrest of a woman accused of beating an emergency room nurse.
*****
Seriously, what the fuck? Even when a nurse ripped a catheter out of my dick like she was starting a chainsaw, I didn't feel an urge to attack her. I was told later though that I yelled "BITCH!!!" loud enough they could hear it all the way down at the nurse's station.
There are two theories of removing an indwelling catheter (chest, bladder, whatever). One is to attempt to distract the patient with an activity (usually, 'blow out hard') while pulling the tube. The other is a fast, unannounced yank. Neither is fun. A urinary catheter has the additional problem that it is 'retained' by a water filled balloon which must be emptied first. If the balloon is not fully deflated, it will really, really hurt. Exclamations of dismay are standard.
ReplyDeleteSounds like she forgot to empty the water from the bulb before extracting the cath.
ReplyDeleteNappy hair Symphony be lookin' like even Nurse Ratchet wouldn't want take her pulse.
ReplyDelete"Even when a nurse ripped a catheter out of my dick like she was starting a chainsaw..."
ReplyDeleteWell thank you very much, Sir. Now you can wipe all the coffee off my monitor.
Fortunately I had just set my cup down before reading that
DeleteJD
Why does The Rolling Stones "Start Me Up" come to mind...?
DeleteYeah, when I had my urinary catheter taken out after treatment for Kidney Stones, I was laying on the table and the doc told me to grab the steel bar above my head. Then he put one foot on the edge of the table for added traction and yanked that tube out. I reckon holding the steel bar was supposed to occupy my hands so I didn't coldcock the sumbitch when he yanked the catheter out.
ReplyDeleteFYI Symphony Morgan- banging you would qualify as bestiality-
ReplyDeleteActually, the first time I removed a central line, it reminded me of starting a chainsaw. Without the chuggggchugg at the end...
ReplyDeleteOh, I was chugggchugging away when Nurse Ratched started my chainsaw, believe me. Then came the whimpering.....
DeleteYa know, they do that. When I was in for my heart stent years ago the nurse started giving me the guided tour as she withdrew the catheter - we're now passing such and such organ...over there is more guts, etc. She then stopped, got a big grin on her face and said, ok, now take a deep breath and then yanked that sucker for all she was worth. I about hit the ceiling, told her I hadn't had that much excitement down there in years and asked if I could smoke a cigarette. Yeah, it's quite the thrill. I think she was on to something.
ReplyDeleteI have had kidney stones broken up with ultrasound through a water bladder that I laid on at least a dozen times. Twice the urologist left in a stent to ensure that the swelling didn't close the ureter, that tube between the kidney and the bladder. I have heard that some doctors remove it in their office.
ReplyDeleteNot either one of the doctors that did my procedures. They took me into the same operating room, and put me in what they used to call twilight sleep. Both times, they kept pulling, telling me to relax. And both times, they had to keep telling the anesthesiologist to give me more medicine and more medicine. I ended up pretty much zonked out both times.
Lucky enough for me, it has been a year and a half since I had to get a kidney stone busted up, in what they call an ESWL, or an extracorporeal shock wave lithotripsy. It is like they used to use when they placed you inside of a tank of water and sent shock waves at you, only now they have you lay on what looks like a dodge ball, only filled with water, and they are able to pinpoint the shock precisely. They hit you with about 3,000 punches, and often I end up with a bruise or a huge red spot.
About 4-7 days later, I piss out small gravel bits. But it is much better than trying to pass a kidney stone that is too big. Oh, and the way that you know if you have a stone, your piss can get the color of cola and it feels like you got a kidney shot from football, often not being able to stand straight. Those of you who have ever had one, knows exactly what I am talking about. A nurse who gets kidney stones told me that between having a stone or having a baby, the kidney stone is much more painful. Go figure.
It isn't a big story but statistically hospitals are the most violent workplaces in America.
ReplyDeleteI hate hearing this shit. My wife and both daughters are RNs.
ReplyDelete