DENHAM SPRINGS, La. (WAFB/Gray News) - A “beef bandit” was arrested after stealing hundreds of dollars’ worth of meat from Walmart by stuffing it in his pants, according to police.
He went for Ribeye steaks. Big mistake, Michael. Having a 4 pound ribeye in the crotch zone might fool a horny MILF looking for a quick jump, but it'd be very obvious to the average person that something was amiss. Ya shoulda stuck to a couple of Slim Jims, son.
Back when I got out of the Army, I got a temp job as security at a grocery. One day I had to roll up a dusky lady and her four dusky crotch fruit. She had nothing on her, but each kid had at least four nice steaks with the fixings under their coats.
Helping each other out. It's what a community does.
BTW, Mike is a double amputee, both legs. Those 'bootstraps' you insist he pull on don't really apply in this case. Perhaps you could pass along a link to all the available jobs he might qualify for.
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He went for Ribeye steaks. Big mistake, Michael. Having a 4 pound ribeye in the crotch zone might fool a horny MILF looking for a quick jump, but it'd be very obvious to the average person that something was amiss. Ya shoulda stuck to a couple of Slim Jims, son.
ReplyDeleteHe was looking for one of those tomahawk steaks...
ReplyDeleteLooky here babe at the bulge in my pants..
Dumbass
JD
Back when I got out of the Army, I got a temp job as security at a grocery. One day I had to roll up a dusky lady and her four dusky crotch fruit. She had nothing on her, but each kid had at least four nice steaks with the fixings under their coats.
ReplyDeleteabout $300 worth of meat...
ReplyDeleteSoooo...a five pound tube of 73% and a can of Vienna Sausage.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteHelping each other out. It's what a community does.
DeleteBTW, Mike is a double amputee, both legs. Those 'bootstraps' you insist he pull on don't really apply in this case. Perhaps you could pass along a link to all the available jobs he might qualify for.
Hey anon@5:18 - my apologies, I don't know how that got passed me. People like that asshole are the reason I disabled the comments on that post.
DeleteI thought Mr. Spock was a vegetarian.
Delete