# 2 They share a hobby, now he can watch in real life # 7 What about Jehovah Witnesses, they don't get one at all # 14 True to type # 15 If they would have killed him right then we wouldn't have any right now, bastards # 19 Both are a NO, not even close JD
Yeah, my take was 'how do I carry them,' and 'who the fuck is going to change them into folding money.' I can see me walking into my credit union with a wheel barrow full.
You realize, of course, that the sign reads "$700,000 (that's dollars) in pennies. Now, it might take a box truck to haul them, as I guess they weigh quite a bit, but even if coinstar takes a cut, you're still way ahead of $70,000.
It's currently illegal to melt pennies for their metal content, but as snuffy pointed out, the sign actually does say $700,000 in pennies, which would be 70,000,000 pennies. I've seen pennies shipped in 65 lb money bags. It would take over 5,000 of those bags and seven 8' x 40' shipping containers to haul that many pennies. Yes, I cheated and used AI to do the math.
The only problem is transporting 70,000,000 pennies. Which would weigh over 192 tons. Oof. You'd need around 10 heavy duty multi-axel dump trucks each capable of carrying 20 tons. And how the hell do you convert that many pennies into cash? If it comes prerolled that's a little easier, but damn. Lotta pennies. Can't believe they're gonna stop making em. Weird.
Double whammy. Everyone's thinking about Christmas, and the closer you are to Christmas, the more likely it is you're gonna hear "Here's your Birthday and Christmas present together."
My ex-stepson's wife was born on Christmas Eve. It was always a thing with is to make sure she got a full birthday party every year on the 24th. She was a sweetheart anyway, so it was our pleasure.
My kid is a xmas eve baby. Her birthday was a birthday like everyones. I remember inviting kids and parents would be like you want my kid for a few hours the day before xmas! Absolutly! We always had a ton of kids at the house and all presents were in birthday paper. Once older every July we let her have a sleep over with a bunch of her girlfriends. No presents, just a party. A cook out with dogs and burgers followed by those horrible somores. Then a great breakfast and finally home. I made every birthday cake my kid had until she was well in her twenties. They were cats, dogs, rabbits, once a raggedy ann and many cartoon characters.
Too bad it's illegal to melt down US coins. The current melt value of 1982 and earlier pennies is 2.9 cents. The current melt value of 1983 and later pennies is 0.7 cents.
If your melt values are right $700,000 in pennies is actually 70 million pennies. 70 million coins melted at 0.7 cents each would actually net you $4.9 million. You may have found the best option
It's not illegal to melt US coins. Just recently, bullion dealers were taking 90% Constitutional Silver pre 64 coins to the recyclers because of the spot prices and people selling their silver for useless fiat.
The real joke is "what's heavier, a pound of gold or a pound of feathers?" Answer: gold. It's weighed in Troy ounces, which is ~31.1g. An avoirdupois (common) ounce is ~28.4g.
I laughed, then thought about it for a second and did some math and double checking.
Leading with the TLdr:
The actual answer is feathers. Because the gold is measured in Troy pounds which equal 12 Troy ounces, and feathers are measured in avoirdupois pounds which equals 16 avoirdupois ounces. 12 Troy ounces weighs about 80g less than 16 avoirdupois ounces.
The "I feel like reading someone's autistic rant today" bit:
A Troy pound is *12* troy ounces, which is about 373.24g vs the avoirdupois pound which weighs 16 oz or 453.59g.
So even if we do the wordplay thing of pretending we "really meant" the two different measurements that share a name, a Troy pound of gold would actually weigh less than an avoirdupois pound of feathers.
And if we're using straight avoirdupois pounds then a pound is a pound regardless of substance.
And if you're trying to say you measure an avoirdupois pound of gold in Troy ounces, that wouldn't make an avoirdupois pound. It would make about 1.25 Troy pounds or 1.097 avoirdupois pounds which is not one pound.
It's wordplay, sure, but it's also a "I'm so clever" smartboi gotcha that only works if you redefine pound to mean "whatever the hell makes me right".
The "feathers" answer is funny, doesn't require twisting meanings except for the fact of meaning two different pound systems, and has the added benefit of being the unexpected (but true, if using those systems) answer. The gold answer only works if you want your audience to feel foolish and cheated. "Two different measuring systems with the same name" vs "two different measuring systems but we combine them in a nonsensical way so I'm right, because I'm smarter than you." (End autistic rant)
Once paid an erroneous $540 traffic ticket in pennies. Was mistaken for a relative with a federal warrant. When cop realized he had pulled over and frisked the wrong person, he then proceeded to write multiple tickets: including speeding (in a parking lot) and no Safety Inspection sticker (on a vehicle licensed in a state with no Safety Inspection requirement.). Went to court. Judge couldn't be bothered with it and ruled against me anyway. Took 3 days to get enough pennies together. The staff at the Clerk of the Court were NOT amused and, at first, refused to take them. I refused to leave without a receipt showing they had refused payment. Eventually, a manager with an above-room temperature IQ came out and admitted that they had to accept the pennies. The staff tried to say that I had to count them. Nope. My only responsibility was that they be rolled. Need 'em counted? That's on you. Best FU moment ever. Pissed that I had to pay, but ecstatic that I got to throw some metaphorical "sand" into the gears of the "machine"!
As opposed to our 'refugees' who are committing the actual crimes - https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15039215/girl-stabbed-Netherlands-migrant-identity.html
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#3, I love this "what does pink crayons taste like?" I am definitely going to use that.
ReplyDelete#20, Why does all these antifa members look like mushrooms?
20. I was going to say Star Trek aliens, but mushrooms works too.
Delete-lg
Because they’ve all been raised on and fed shit so they’re full of it
DeleteCoelacanth
# 2 They share a hobby, now he can watch in real life
ReplyDelete# 7 What about Jehovah Witnesses, they don't get one at all
# 14 True to type
# 15 If they would have killed him right then we wouldn't have any right now, bastards
# 19 Both are a NO, not even close
JD
I would take the pennies for the metal value. That probably beats the cash. Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteHow do the pink crayons taste?
DeleteYeah, my take was 'how do I carry them,' and 'who the fuck is going to change them into folding money.' I can see me walking into my credit union with a wheel barrow full.
DeleteSomething, something taste of crayons…
DeleteWiscoDave
Probably would be a huge hassle, but worth it!
DeleteGood Gawd
DeleteYou realize, of course, that the sign reads "$700,000 (that's dollars) in pennies. Now, it might take a box truck to haul them, as I guess they weigh quite a bit, but even if coinstar takes a cut, you're still way ahead of $70,000.
DeleteIt's currently illegal to melt pennies for their metal content, but as snuffy pointed out, the sign actually does say $700,000 in pennies, which would be 70,000,000 pennies. I've seen pennies shipped in 65 lb money bags. It would take over 5,000 of those bags and seven 8' x 40' shipping containers to haul that many pennies. Yes, I cheated and used AI to do the math.
DeleteThe only problem is transporting 70,000,000 pennies. Which would weigh over 192 tons. Oof. You'd need around 10 heavy duty multi-axel dump trucks each capable of carrying 20 tons. And how the hell do you convert that many pennies into cash? If it comes prerolled that's a little easier, but damn. Lotta pennies. Can't believe they're gonna stop making em. Weird.
DeleteLately... I gotta go with BOTH those mfs are lying.... [nines]
ReplyDelete#7 - How about kids like me who were born in December?
ReplyDeleteMy daughter's b'day is December 24, my smart wife would do it on Turkey Day.
DeleteDouble whammy. Everyone's thinking about Christmas, and the closer you are to Christmas, the more likely it is you're gonna hear "Here's your Birthday and Christmas present together."
DeleteMy ex-stepson's wife was born on Christmas Eve. It was always a thing with is to make sure she got a full birthday party every year on the 24th. She was a sweetheart anyway, so it was our pleasure.
DeleteMy kid is a xmas eve baby. Her birthday was a birthday like everyones. I remember inviting kids and parents would be like you want my kid for a few hours the day before xmas! Absolutly! We always had a ton of kids at the house and all presents were in birthday paper. Once older every July we let her have a sleep over with a bunch of her girlfriends. No presents, just a party. A cook out with dogs and burgers followed by those horrible somores. Then a great breakfast and finally home. I made every birthday cake my kid had until she was well in her twenties. They were cats, dogs, rabbits, once a raggedy ann and many cartoon characters.
Delete#14 - You surely are going to hell for that one... But I guess that I may as well join you because it is funny as heck!!!
ReplyDelete#3 for me W.C. people are STUPID these days.
ReplyDeleteToo bad it's illegal to melt down US coins. The current melt value of 1982 and earlier pennies is 2.9 cents. The current melt value of 1983 and later pennies is 0.7 cents.
ReplyDeleteIf your melt values are right $700,000 in pennies is actually 70 million pennies. 70 million coins melted at 0.7 cents each would actually net you $4.9 million.
DeleteYou may have found the best option
70,000,000¢ x 0.7= 49,000,000¢
Delete=$490,000
It's not illegal to melt US coins. Just recently, bullion dealers were taking 90% Constitutional Silver pre 64 coins to the recyclers because of the spot prices and people selling their silver for useless fiat.
Delete$700,000 is still ten times $70k… regardless of the denomination…it doesn’t say 700,000 pennies; it says $700,000 in pennies
ReplyDeleteAnon @2:57, you sound vaxxed.
ReplyDelete$700,000 is 70,000,000 pennies, about 200 tons or a couple railroad hopper cars
ReplyDeleteYeah, you're going to want a tax credit to go with that.
DeleteWhat is heavier? A pound of lead or a pound of feathers....
ReplyDeleteThe real joke is "what's heavier, a pound of gold or a pound of feathers?" Answer: gold. It's weighed in Troy ounces, which is ~31.1g. An avoirdupois (common) ounce is ~28.4g.
DeleteI laughed, then thought about it for a second and did some math and double checking.
DeleteLeading with the TLdr:
The actual answer is feathers. Because the gold is measured in Troy pounds which equal 12 Troy ounces, and feathers are measured in avoirdupois pounds which equals 16 avoirdupois ounces. 12 Troy ounces weighs about 80g less than 16 avoirdupois ounces.
The "I feel like reading someone's autistic rant today" bit:
A Troy pound is *12* troy ounces, which is about 373.24g vs the avoirdupois pound which weighs 16 oz or 453.59g.
So even if we do the wordplay thing of pretending we "really meant" the two different measurements that share a name, a Troy pound of gold would actually weigh less than an avoirdupois pound of feathers.
And if we're using straight avoirdupois pounds then a pound is a pound regardless of substance.
And if you're trying to say you measure an avoirdupois pound of gold in Troy ounces, that wouldn't make an avoirdupois pound. It would make about 1.25 Troy pounds or 1.097 avoirdupois pounds which is not one pound.
It's wordplay, sure, but it's also a "I'm so clever" smartboi gotcha that only works if you redefine pound to mean "whatever the hell makes me right".
The "feathers" answer is funny, doesn't require twisting meanings except for the fact of meaning two different pound systems, and has the added benefit of being the unexpected (but true, if using those systems) answer. The gold answer only works if you want your audience to feel foolish and cheated. "Two different measuring systems with the same name" vs "two different measuring systems but we combine them in a nonsensical way so I'm right, because I'm smarter than you."
(End autistic rant)
-WR
Once paid an erroneous $540 traffic ticket in pennies.
ReplyDeleteWas mistaken for a relative with a federal warrant.
When cop realized he had pulled over and frisked the wrong person, he then proceeded to write multiple tickets: including speeding (in a parking lot) and no Safety Inspection sticker (on a vehicle licensed in a state with no Safety Inspection requirement.).
Went to court.
Judge couldn't be bothered with it and ruled against me anyway.
Took 3 days to get enough pennies together.
The staff at the Clerk of the Court were NOT amused and, at first, refused to take them.
I refused to leave without a receipt showing they had refused payment.
Eventually, a manager with an above-room temperature IQ came out and admitted that they had to accept the pennies.
The staff tried to say that I had to count them. Nope.
My only responsibility was that they be rolled. Need 'em counted? That's on you.
Best FU moment ever.
Pissed that I had to pay, but ecstatic that I got to throw some metaphorical "sand" into the gears of the "machine"!
I only paid a $13 parking ticket like that, in a ziploc bag.
Delete#19? Don't get it.
ReplyDeleteRead the comments
Delete#20 I guaran-damned-tee at least one of those mushrooms is looked up to by the rest.
ReplyDeleteWhoever created the #14 cartoon would be sent to jail in Europe for "truth" crimes.
ReplyDeleteAs opposed to our 'refugees' who are committing the actual crimes - https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15039215/girl-stabbed-Netherlands-migrant-identity.html
Delete