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Tuesday, September 23, 2025

Florida, of course

A man wearing goggles and what appears to be a wetsuit robbed a Disney Springs restaurant early Monday after ordering employees to get on their knees, according to an Orange County Sheriff’s Office incident report.

9 comments:

  1. The robber ordered employees to get on their knees and immediately all the waitresses yelled in unison: "Come to momma big boy".

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    Replies
    1. What do you suppose they meant by that?

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  2. The article says that the incident report was "heavily redacted". Other than maybe concealing employee names for privacy reasons, what else would need redacting in a report about a robbery?

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    Replies
    1. It's Florida. Someone got naked, meth and alligators were involved, and a legislator drove a lawn tractor, drunk, through the plate glass window. Nothing to report on here, folks, move along.

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  3. Sounds like Mr. Limpet's fallen on hard times.
    -lg

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  4. "...the thief did not have a weapon nor said that he did..."

    So they just gave him money because he asked for it? Where's my wetsuit. I gotta get in on this shit.

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  5. He's thinking ahead. 50 years ago, nobody knew about DNA evidence. Now, this guy wears a full body suit so none of his skin cells fall onto the restaurant floor. In ten years, the police get a tip, and come back to the restaurant and sample the air. Every person who was ever in that restaurant will have his DNA tracked. Except this guy.

    This guy's smart. Thinking, always thinking.

    Think I'm too into sci-fi? Maybe, but look at the advances forensic science has taken in the last 20 years.

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  6. Ah, but he wearing the swim fins with it? THAT would make it special.

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