Some years ago, a guy that worked in the same shop as I do, had a kid in the Navy. His mother and sibling were visiting him in N'awlins. I guess he was stationed at a base nearby. They took a ride on a paddle wheeler. As they were coming in to dock, he tried to do a handstand.....on one of the railings. Yeah, never found the body.
Almost everything in N'awlins is falling apart. I've been to lots of third world countries and N'awlins reminds me of them. One time I was in a taxi there and we got rear-ended on the freeway. The driver couldn't speak English so he called the state troopers and handed the phone to me. I had to go to 3 different hospitals and wait about 13 hours to get an MRI of my neck, which was slightly fractured. By the time I got proper medical care, I had missed all of the flights back to Houston, so I had to spend an unplanned night in a hotel.
Another time, I headed into the office early to prepare for a meeting and discovered that they power-wash the puke off of Bourbon Street every morning at 5:00 am.
I have more than just an idea about NOLA. It's a toss-up as to which I despise more, Houston or Atlanta, but for sure NOLA is #1 on my hate list. Several years ago, a buddy texted me a pic of himself standing on Bourbon Street in a t-shirt, gym shorts, flip-flops and no socks. You could tell it had been raining because the pavement was wet. Or maybe people had been pissing in public, anything is possible on Bourbon Street. Literally anything. You can watch the devil dance on Bourbon Street if you have the cash, and I've been told it doesn't take all that much money, either. Anyway, I texted back he needed to go back to the hotel and put on adult footwear lest he catch a case of something that would rot his feet off. He texted back L.O.L.
The next day, he had to go to urgent care because his feet had got ate up with some kinda infection overnight. He could barely stand to walk on them. Oooopsie!
Not only do they wash the puke off of Burbon Street every morning, but a huge tanker truck also loaded with disinfectant washes the piss and $hit. It smells like a public restroom.
5. You made a dry sandwich and think it's going to stick together? Get some mayo and mustard on there or, get a woman to make them for you. 7. Tearing the man's boat up. Who's going to pay to fix that? 8. What a fucking dumb ass. I hope that busted two legs and he can't go on the lot anymore. 9. Happened to me once but, instead of a book case it was a fucker going wrong way in a motorized wheelchair. Hard on the brake, burning clutch and rubber and sliding sideways I managed to miss and didn't touch anything passing me on the side. All I could say was "get the fuck off the street."
Several years ago, our town DPW was tasked with removing an old upright piano from the elementary school. They put it on a trailer but didn't bother to strap it down because "they weren't going far." As they went around the corner at the major intersection in town, where our ambulance was waiting to turn left to go back to the firehouse. the piano launched off the trailer and crashed into the side of the ambulance. You would think the geniuses would have been summarily terminated, but they were not. That's what unions are for, protect the losers and morons.
#9: Many years ago, was driving to work on a beautiful summer morning. Windows down, music cranked, following a semi. In that brief moment of silence between songs, I heard the sound of something under the wheels of the semi. I instantly stood on the brakes. In the next instant, a folding table (old-style formica with metal edging - heavy) got spat out from under the truck and launched up in the air, coming right at my head. Because I'd started braking, it landed flat on the road just as I ran over it. No damage to me or the car, but the pucker-factor was off the charts. If the song hadn't ended at just that moment, I would've had a folding table where my head should have been.
A couple of incidents like that convinced me to go to the 3 second following rule. Can't do it in the city because every idiot will cut you off, but ...
#1 I wonder if the driver of the car was really trying to enter or if the guy sitting down was an A-hole and the whole carpet pulling thing was the intent.
#4 - I used to to something similar with a superball when I was younger (and didn't care about the ceilings because it was my Dad's place...)
Step 1. Find a superball. Any size will do. Step 2. Move to the hallway, or any other place with plenty of relatively unobstructed ceiling in front of you. Need about 10' minimum. Step 3. Throw the ball, fairly hard, at about a 45° angle down at the floor in front of you. Step 4. Watch the ball bounce off the floor normally, bounce off the ceiling at a REALLY weird angle as the english from hitting the floor is absorbed, bounce of the floor again in almost the exact same place, and come back at you. Step 5. Catch the ball, and repeat while laughing like a loon. Step 6. Panic and realize you have NO idea how to replace a light fixture. Or a fire alarm for that matter.
#9: I was driving a '99 Toyota Camry on the I-10 a few years back at around 70MPH. The cars in front of me split to the right and left in front of me, leaving me facing a big rig tire on the rim laying in the road. I didn't even have a chance to brake. That tire LAUNCHED my car into the air. I came down still lined up in my lane, so I kept on going. The gauges looked good. The car was still handling OK. I got home and checked for damage, finding only part of a small air dam underneath the car missing. WHADDA RIDE!
Starker here, #1 Looks like a good prank. #4 Pong! #6 Mufasa, no! #8 Forklift he shouldn't have had the load that high. Always have the load low. But the trigger, was Mr Dumbass walking between the lift & the trailer. The lift had to stop short, & with the load up, inertia & potential became kinetic. For energy, #2 slapping those two cars together, after lifting & turning them.
Go away, anonymous troll. None of us voted for Biden or Harris, yet you're calling US putzes? I realize your mommy didn't pay enough attention to you when you were a brat, but seeking attention here isn't going to work unless you're into humiliation, and you can pay a hooker for that.
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Some years ago, a guy that worked in the same shop as I do, had a kid in the Navy. His mother and sibling were visiting him in N'awlins. I guess he was stationed at a base nearby. They took a ride on a paddle wheeler. As they were coming in to dock, he tried to do a handstand.....on one of the railings. Yeah, never found the body.
ReplyDeleteAlmost everything in N'awlins is falling apart. I've been to lots of third world countries and N'awlins reminds me of them. One time I was in a taxi there and we got rear-ended on the freeway. The driver couldn't speak English so he called the state troopers and handed the phone to me. I had to go to 3 different hospitals and wait about 13 hours to get an MRI of my neck, which was slightly fractured. By the time I got proper medical care, I had missed all of the flights back to Houston, so I had to spend an unplanned night in a hotel.
DeleteAnother time, I headed into the office early to prepare for a meeting and discovered that they power-wash the puke off of Bourbon Street every morning at 5:00 am.
I could go on, but you get the idea.
I have more than just an idea about NOLA. It's a toss-up as to which I despise more, Houston or Atlanta, but for sure NOLA is #1 on my hate list. Several years ago, a buddy texted me a pic of himself standing on Bourbon Street in a t-shirt, gym shorts, flip-flops and no socks. You could tell it had been raining because the pavement was wet. Or maybe people had been pissing in public, anything is possible on Bourbon Street. Literally anything. You can watch the devil dance on Bourbon Street if you have the cash, and I've been told it doesn't take all that much money, either. Anyway, I texted back he needed to go back to the hotel and put on adult footwear lest he catch a case of something that would rot his feet off. He texted back L.O.L.
DeleteThe next day, he had to go to urgent care because his feet had got ate up with some kinda infection overnight. He could barely stand to walk on them. Oooopsie!
Not only do they wash the puke off of Burbon Street every morning, but a huge tanker truck also loaded with disinfectant washes the piss and $hit. It smells like a public restroom.
Delete5. You made a dry sandwich and think it's going to stick together? Get some mayo and mustard on there or, get a woman to make them for you.
ReplyDelete7. Tearing the man's boat up. Who's going to pay to fix that?
8. What a fucking dumb ass. I hope that busted two legs and he can't go on the lot anymore.
9. Happened to me once but, instead of a book case it was a fucker going wrong way in a motorized wheelchair. Hard on the brake, burning clutch and rubber and sliding sideways I managed to miss and didn't touch anything passing me on the side. All I could say was "get the fuck off the street."
#8 "What a dumb ass."
DeleteThere's actually two dumbasses in that clip. I counted twice to make sure.
tominor
I may be wrong but I'm seeing the guy droving the fork lift hitting the brake to keep from running over the other guy
Deletethe 2nd dumbass is the forklift driver with the load way too high way too soon......
Delete#5 Kind of happened to me too. Air fryer fan blew the cheese slice off my hot ham and cheese sandwich. Mayo did hold on to the ham
DeleteSeveral years ago, our town DPW was tasked with removing an old upright piano from the elementary school. They put it on a trailer but didn't bother to strap it down because "they weren't going far." As they went around the corner at the major intersection in town, where our ambulance was waiting to turn left to go back to the firehouse. the piano launched off the trailer and crashed into the side of the ambulance. You would think the geniuses would have been summarily terminated, but they were not. That's what unions are for, protect the losers and morons.
ReplyDelete#2: That Hiroshima in the AM on August 6, 1945?
ReplyDelete#4: Nice trick shot, but I bet he can't do it again.
#9: Many years ago, was driving to work on a beautiful summer morning. Windows down, music cranked, following a semi. In that brief moment of silence between songs, I heard the sound of something under the wheels of the semi. I instantly stood on the brakes. In the next instant, a folding table (old-style formica with metal edging - heavy) got spat out from under the truck and launched up in the air, coming right at my head. Because I'd started braking, it landed flat on the road just as I ran over it. No damage to me or the car, but the pucker-factor was off the charts. If the song hadn't ended at just that moment, I would've had a folding table where my head should have been.
ReplyDeleteA couple of incidents like that convinced me to go to the 3 second following rule. Can't do it in the city because every idiot will cut you off, but ...
Delete#2 + #5- We have 30-40 MPH wind today here in West Michigan. I don't have to rake leaves this week! Of course my neighbors might not be so lucky.
ReplyDeleteKinda windy here today
ReplyDeleteJD
#1 I wonder if the driver of the car was really trying to enter or if the guy sitting down was an A-hole and the whole carpet pulling thing was the intent.
ReplyDelete#4 - I used to to something similar with a superball when I was younger (and didn't care about the ceilings because it was my Dad's place...)
ReplyDeleteStep 1. Find a superball. Any size will do.
Step 2. Move to the hallway, or any other place with plenty of relatively unobstructed ceiling in front of you. Need about 10' minimum.
Step 3. Throw the ball, fairly hard, at about a 45° angle down at the floor in front of you.
Step 4. Watch the ball bounce off the floor normally, bounce off the ceiling at a REALLY weird angle as the english from hitting the floor is absorbed, bounce of the floor again in almost the exact same place, and come back at you.
Step 5. Catch the ball, and repeat while laughing like a loon.
Step 6. Panic and realize you have NO idea how to replace a light fixture. Or a fire alarm for that matter.
John G.
#9: I was driving a '99 Toyota Camry on the I-10 a few years back at around 70MPH. The cars in front of me split to the right and left in front of me, leaving me facing a big rig tire on the rim laying in the road. I didn't even have a chance to brake. That tire LAUNCHED my car into the air. I came down still lined up in my lane, so I kept on going. The gauges looked good. The car was still handling OK. I got home and checked for damage, finding only part of a small air dam underneath the car missing. WHADDA RIDE!
ReplyDelete#3 "Okay, now here's the setup. The rear motorcycle tire stops in a hard-snow divot."
ReplyDeleteMe: "Next! I know how this one ends."
tominor
Starker here,
ReplyDelete#1 Looks like a good prank.
#4 Pong!
#6 Mufasa, no!
#8 Forklift he shouldn't have had the load that high. Always have the load low. But the trigger, was Mr Dumbass walking between the lift & the trailer. The lift had to stop short, & with the load up, inertia & potential became kinetic.
For energy, #2 slapping those two cars together, after lifting & turning them.
What a bunch of putzes.
ReplyDeleteGo away, anonymous troll. None of us voted for Biden or Harris, yet you're calling US putzes?
DeleteI realize your mommy didn't pay enough attention to you when you were a brat, but seeking attention here isn't going to work unless you're into humiliation, and you can pay a hooker for that.
Or he can pay his mommy the hooker. I'm sure she can find time for him now that he's got some cash.
DeleteI hafta admit, I did a #3 once but it was on wet grass at 3AM, trying to put the hog away in the garage and yeah, alcohol was involved.
ReplyDelete- WDS