Saturday, January 29, 2011

Even CGD couldn't figure this one out

So I'm having a few beers tonight and I run a little short so me and CharlieGodammit wander down to the local 7-11 to score another six pack.
Okay. I can deal with homeless folks spending their canning and panhandling cash on lottery tickets hoping to win it big. I can deal with drunks (like me) that are a few cents short and arguing with the hardworking Sikh clerk. I can even deal with the tweeker that thinks he's god and deserves a break on refried beans, but what I have a hard time dealing with is the well dressed lady driving a Lexus that is arguing with Mr. Singh over the price of a single motherfucking banana at 11 PM.
I mean, who in the fuck buys a banana at a 7-11 at 11 PM? Especially when Suzie's Sex Shop is only 2 blocks down the road? Or when you can buy a cucumber with bumps on it (for your pleasure) at the Savemart only 4 blocks down the road?
Are you serious? You're lucky CharlieGodammit didn't bite your stupid ass on the way out.

As long as I'm in a foul mood....

......here's a picture of Cindy Sheehan, the woman that sold her son's dignity for her own personal gain.
Rot in hell, bitch.

Weather reports and ranch supply

For the best hands down no bullshit fucking A weather report for your area go to:
http://www.conlinsupply.biz/
Click on the weather link, enter your zip code and there you have it.
It'll give all the detailed (serious fucking details, too) weather information anybody needs to know be you rancher, farmer, hunter or city boy.
And oh yeah, see if they have a feed-n-seed near you.

I'm skeered

CharlieGodammit just woke up from a sound sleep, got up, came over to me and gave me a big face lickin' for nothing, then laid back down and went back to sleep.
What the fuck?

I know, Hon. I know.

FUCK YOU OBAMA!!!!!!




































WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama issued a plea for restraint in Egypt after meeting with national security aides Saturday to assess the Cairo government's response to widespread protests threatening the stability of the country.
A White House statement said Obama "reiterated our focus on opposing violence and calling for restraint, supporting universal rights, and supporting concrete steps that advance political reform within Egypt."

Supporting political reform in Egypt?
 Hey Fuckhead, Egypt is the only arab ally that Israel has had since Anwar Sadat implemented the treaty and you're supporting political reform? You do know that the party that's likely to come to power is a branch of Hamas, right?
What about our ally and friend, Israel?
You're showing your true muslim colors, motherfucker.

Another addition to the blog roll

Check out My Daily Kona at the link below and in my sidebar.
http://mydailykona.blogspot.com/
Good shit here and well written.

Thanks, lady.

Like most men, one of my least favorite things to do is shop unless it's at the BassPro or someplace like that.
When I go to the store I go with list in hand and a plan of attack so I will spend the absolute least amount of time in there that I can.
This thing I hear about grocery stores being a great place to pick up women? Uh-uh. Not me. Not usually, anyways. But today...... Today I'm in the store to buy fruit to dry and I'm standing there looking at 4 (no shit, four) different kinds of pears, all the same price, when I realize that somebody is next to me. Being the polite motherfucker I am, I say "Sorry 'bout that, I didn't mean to be in your way." Then I turn to see this very attractive woman standing there who says, "Oh! You're not in my way. I'm having the same problem you seem to be having."
Bam! The fruit decisions go out the window but to keep the conversation going I keep talking about it and mention that I'm drying the fruit because it's a healthy snack blah blah blah, all the while thinking she's awful damned cute AND friendly and she ain't wearing a ring or a bra and she looks to be just a little younger than me and and and and then she says "Well, pears are a good choice because they're full of fiber and at your age......"
Fucking bitch, I hope you get run over in the parking lot.

Kayate tracks on my tailgate

Rotten li'l bastard.......

What would Obama do?

-Skidmark

Friday, January 28, 2011

Please Mr. Wolfer, come keel kayates.

So I'm coming home the other day and I get a phone call from a Portagee lady with a real heavy accent saying her dairy is overrun with kayates, they've been scarfing her chickens, she was pissed as hell and that she needed a wolfer to come clear them out.
Okay, it's the first time I've ever been called a wolfer, but she has 300 acres with coyotes so she can call me her li'l bitch if she wants.
I drive the 40 miles north and get there about 10 this morning to check her property out. It's dairy up front and fields in the back. 275 motherfucking acres of field that has just been cut for silage.
After she shows me around and I make friends with the resident dogs, I grab my shotgun and rifle and wander around looking at the tracks in the mud and fields. She wasn't lying. Tracks were everywhere and at least one of the kayates was huge - I swear, its' track was as long as my index finger. None of her dogs was that big, so either it was a monster kayate or she has a feral dog running with the pack.
Anyways, I made a couple of sets with no luck (middle of the day kayate hunting sucks) and then her husband Manual pulls up and tells me to choot dem dam kayates, he's tired of hearing Rosa bitch about her chickens. Told me to come early in the morning, they sit up on his silage pile and watch him work.
Okay, I went home and took care of some shit, then got bored and drove back out there around dusk. I parked near the truck scales because that was the only lit area around, grabbed my shotgun and headed out to do a couple of sets on a brushline, leaving my rifle in the open gun case in the back of the truck. I didn't see or hear shit - no big thing, Manuel told me it was an early morning trip.
After it got so fucking dark and foggy I couldn't see, I headed back up to the truck. Okay. It doesn't bother me a bit to get skunked, it happens all the time. And I've been in a slump anyways. No big deal. But what pisses me the fuck off is when I got within sight of the truck, I look up and there's a motherfucking kayate in the back of the truck taking a piss on my kayate rifle. IN THE BACK OF MY TRUCK!!!!!!
And what makes it worse is that I'm loaded with buckshot so dropping him there wasn't an option. Then the little bastard flipped me a bird, jumped out keeping himself between me and the herd and then wandered nonchalantly through the corral, laughing his ass off.
Motherfucker......

Just get in the damned van, lady.

Illinois is officially fucked up

And they wonder why nobody has any faith in the judicial system anymore.


(CNN) -- The Illinois Supreme Court ruled Thursday that former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel met residency requirements and that his name will stay on the mayoral ballot in Chicago.
The justices said Emanuel's opponents did not prove that he had given up residency when he served in the Obama administration in Washington.
"Given the record before us, it is simply not possible to find clearly erroneous the (Chicago Board of Elections') determination that the objectors failed to prove that the candidate had abandoned his Chicago residence," the court ruled in a unanimous decision.


.....the objectors failed to prove that the candidate had abandoned his Chicago residence.....
How about the fact that the motherfucker DIDN'T LIVE THERE FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS?????
His opponents couldn't prove that? All they had to do was produce 1 fucking utilty bill in his name in DC or wherever he was living. Did he have a privately owned vehicle that was registered in the DC area? Could they not come up with a neighbor that could testify that he spent the majority of his nights in the DC area?
Fuck, maybe they should've hired me to prove that he wasn't a Shitcago resident.

It's FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to hunt coyotes I go,
with a boom boom here
and a bang bang there,
hi-ho, hi-ho!

I left out the part about missing, huh?

What? Obama lied to us?

WASHINGTON -- It's a striking statistic.
Without President Barack Obama's health care law, as many as 129 million Americans - half of those under age 65 - could be denied coverage or charged more because of a pre-existing medical condition.
The new estimate by the Health and Human Services Department is more than twice as high as a figure that supporters of the law were using last year.
Without President Barack Obama’s health care law, as many as 129 million Americans _ half of those under age 65 _ could be denied coverage or charged more because of a pre-existing medical condition. The new estimate by the HHS Department is more than twice as high as a figure that supporters of the law were using last year.
It just might need an asterisk.
Most of those millions of people are covered by health insurance at work and don't face any immediate risk of being denied care for their pre-existing medical problems. And as a rule, those who take a new job and sign up in their employer's health plan are already protected by a 1990s law.
"It's a hypothetical situation, not an actual situation," said economist Paul Ginsburg, president of the Center for Studying Health System Change. "Most of these people don't have a problem, with or without health reform, because they get their coverage through their employment, and employer coverage takes everybody." The center is a nonpartisan research organization.

How to drive a liberal crazy

Give them another reason why Obama has GOT to go.

He's a Muslim extremist. Witness his disastrous Cairo speech, in which he toadied to the worst elements of Islam—and betrayed the moderate elements—a) by referring to the 9/11 killers not as "terrorists," but as "violent extremists"; b) by pandering to the notion that there is an Islamic global community ("Ummah") set apart from the rest of the world; c) by apologizing on the West's behalf for the (defensive) Crusades; and d) by announcing that it wasn't the business of the United States to decide which countries can and can't have nuclear weapons (so go right ahead, Mister Ahmadinejad).... Oh—did anyone mention this before?—and his middle name is Hussein, and he made one of NASA's top priorities an outreach program to make Muslims feel good about Islam's alleged contributions to science.

-From the book 365 Ways To Drive A Liberal Crazy

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I should've known....

So tonight I tried something new.
I tried taking CharlieGodammits' rawhide chew toy away while sticking my finger up his ass.
Guess which one he objected to the most?

Okay, either you're a bunch of sick motherfuckers or you don't know mean-ass dogs that well.
But damn, how many of you actually read down far enough to read the answer?
I'm sorely disappointed that y'all don't know dogs........

Woody? Well?

CharlieGodammit treats

He would eat that shit up.......

Can't say as I blame 'em

Miriam, the muslim talking doll.
The only thing is, nobody knows what she has to say because nobody has the balls to pull the string.

It's an Okie thing

Egypt today. The United States, next year?

The counter-terror force, rarely seen on the streets, took up positions in strategic locations, including central Tahrir Square, site of the biggest demonstrations this week.
Facebook and Twitter have helped drive this week's protests. But by Thursday evening, those sites were disrupted, along with cell phone text messaging and BlackBerry Messenger services. Then the Internet went down.

I can honestly see this happening here soon, especially after that fucking punk Obama mentioned something about "investing" in the telecommunications industry, a not-so-gentle hint that he's trying to take the internet over.
You know what? Maybe we should listen to the folks with ham radio blogs. Seriously, let's give them a read.
Maybe we should all invest in an inexpensive pair of 2 way radios to stay in touch with your loved ones when all of a sudden you can't dial out.
Lets get our Go-Bags and shit together. Better to have and not need than to need and not have.
Fuck Obama.

We can only hope

We may have been worrying about the muslim threat to our way of life for nothing.
First the government in Tunisia is overthrown, then there's "unrest" in Egypt and now there's been protests in the streets in Yemen.
Maybe with a little luck the entire arab mid-East will implode.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

No TOTUS SOTU analysis here, folks

Nope, you ain't gonna get your political news here tonight.
Why? Because I didn't listen to the speech.
Why didn't I listen in the what The Obamessiah had to say?
Because I don't have a TV service, I can't stand to hear his voice or see his face and I don't believe a motherfucking thing the socialist prick has to say anyways.
That's why.
FUCK YOU OBAMA!

RUN!!!!! CATHOLIC ZOMBIE PRIESTS!!!!!!!

Chickenshit bitches

For Tattoo Jim




































Just for you Jim, on account you like drawers better than thongs.

Mother of the Year

Erics' hog

I appreciate you sending this in to me, Eric.
I hope it was tasty.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Mohammed the Baby Raper

For those of you that don'tunderstand this, Mohammed took a Jewish girl as a bride when she was only 6 years old. But being the man he is, he waited until she was 9 before raping her. Until then he contented himself by "thighing" her - rubbing the head of his penis on her thighs until he ejaculated.
And seeing as Mohammed is "A Perfect Man" in the eyes of muslims, guess what? They see this behaviour as perfectly acceptable.

Ah, laundry day!

Those violent video games.....

For California schoolkids (Spanish version also)

Talk about attitude!

The last holdout in Barstow, CA

Now you know why they're virgins

It's okay, Homey. I gots you.

Fuck you, Rahm!!!

Okay, I'm a little confused here. I've read stories that said that his name couldn't be on the ballot and I've also read that he can't run even as a write-in. I'm assuming that because it's a matter of residency, he isn't eligble to run at all.
Regardless, he's spent a shitload of money, more than any other candidate, for nothing.
It also showed him that he's not as powerful as he thought he was if a lowly court of law told him to fuck off.
How much do you want to bet that Obama will stick his fucking nose into this pile of shit to help his piece of shit?



CHICAGO -- An attorney says an Illinois Appeals Court has ruled that Rahm Emanuel's name can't appear on the ballot for Chicago mayor.
Attorney Burt Odelson said Monday that the court voted 2-1 to overturn a judge's ruling to keep Emanuel's name on the ballot.
Those challenging Emanuel have said the White House chief of staff did not meet a residency requirement because he lived in Washington and not Chicago when he worked for President Barack Obama. Emanuel has said he always intended to return to Chicago and was only living in Washington at the request of the president.
Chicago's mayoral race is Feb. 22nd.

Just sayin'

When I turned on my computer this morning to read the paper, my home page (Yahoo) had 10 world news headlines. Five out of the ten involved separate terrorism related incidents or stories and every one of those involved muslims.
I'm beginning to think we have a serious problem here.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Now that's gonna leave a mark




Damn, Yolo.......

PRAISE GOD, er, JACK DANIELS! I'M CURED!

Concerning Internet Explorer beta 9

Got the email below from Rod earlier and posted it for the rest of you.
I appreciate emails like this, letting folks know what kind of problems they may run into.
Myself, I'm not a computer guy - I can check email, post my blog and use Google Earth to scout coyote country and that's about it, so it's nice when we can get some advance warning on shit like this.
Oh, and thanks for the pat on the back.

I downloaded the new Microsoft Internet Explorer beta 9 today and can no longer view your site with Microsoft Explorer, it crashes the browser. I’m using Chrome from Google to view it. I know this is not your problem, but when people start downloading the new browser they're going to be upset that they can’t go there. I’m going to email this problem to Microsoft to see if they have an idea of what thing on your site causes the crash. Any way you have a great site and I enjoy reading it daily.
Rod

I'll keep that day open

Palin 2012



That's the difference between Conservatives and whiney-bitch liberals. We can laugh at ourselves.
And I'm sorry but I find this Onion News Network fucking hilarious.

Fun with Pooh

Oooh, an Afghan carnival!!!

No caption needed, thank you.

Woody's rant

My buddy Woody was going on about this shit the other day. Liberals think we need to respect muslim sensibilities, not realizing that it's going to eventually bite them in the ass if they were to come to power.

Coyote Hunting 101

Today it’s all about camouflage and saving you some money.

Camouflage
As far as coyote hunting goes, I don’t think camo clothing is all that big a deal. Keep in mind that coyotes (and any other canine that I know of) are color blind which means that all they can see is shades. I am firmly convinced though that they are acutely aware of human shapes - arms, heads, shit like that - especially if they’ve been hunted before so the important thing isn’t necessarily blending in but breaking up your outline and keeping your ass off the skyline.

Personally I think people obsess way to much over trying to get the perfect camo pattern. I mean, I’m looking at my winter coat and yeah, it does have more gray and lighter colors than something I would wear in the summer, but at the same time, the leaves in it have veins and stems. It has twigs thinner than matchsticks and if I look hard enough I could probably find a fucking bug in the pattern. That shit is WAY busier than it really needs to be.
Here’s how you find out if your camo will work in the season and region you’re hunting: Take something with that pattern (coat, shirt, jizz rag, whatever) and hang it on some brush or a tree. Walk off 75-100 yards and turn around. If the motherfucker stands out like a red light outside a whorehouse, it ain’t gonna work. It’s as simple as that.
So basically you do want to hunt in seasonal and regional shades, though. You don’t want to be wearing your deep forest camo shit when you’re hunting in sagebrush or the winter and vice versa. But don't trip if the shit doesn't match perfectly.

What do I normally wear when I’m hunting open country in the early winter? My tan Carhartt jacket and insulated bibs. No shit. If it’s cold, I’ll wear my winter camouflage coat - not for the camo but because it’s outrageously warm. In the spring, summer and fall, I’m wearing tan pants or Wranglers and a long sleeved drab or camouflaged shirt.
Do I own camo other than my jacket? Yeah, a couple of shirts and a pair of bibs. I’ll wear the shirts hunting occasionally but I’m not fanatical about it. The bibs are for relaxing around the house.

Now for snow camo. This is fucking easy. Steal some of your sweeties’ sheets and wrap one around your legs and another around your body and arms while you’re on stand. Not only will you blend in but you just broke up your human shape. It’s best not to use new ones, you want a little discoloration in them, in fact you might want to dirty them up just a tad. Brand new or bleached sheets stand out like a sore thumb. Oh, and don't get fucking stupid and use form-fitting sheets. Your dumb ass will get all tangled up in it.
Nighttime camo is easy. Wear dark shit. Dogs can’t see in the dark. They use their noses and ears to hunt and get around. Pay attention to the moon. You don’t want to be wearing solid black when you’re hunting grasslands in the full moon.
Ghillie suits are popular with a lot of hunters and for good reason - they do an outrageous job of breaking up your outline. No shit, you can lay on a fucking beach in one and from just a very short distance away somebody’ll think you’re a big wad of seaweed that washed ashore. And the really nice thing about them is that if you shop around you can find a suit for about the same price you’d pay for some fancy camo shirts and pants that don’t do half the job. You can buy pre-made ones or ones that you make yourself if you want to go that route.

Rifle camo….. You can buy rifles that come camouflaged, you can paint them yourself or you can take the cheap route out like I did. Buy some gun wrap (self adhesive tape) and do it yourself. This can be had in different patterns and the nice thing about it is that it doesn’t use adhesive to mar the beautiful satin finish on your barrel that’s scaring everything off within sight when the sun hits it. You wrap it and it sticks to itself. If you unwrap it, just roll it up as you're taking it off and you can reuse it. It costs about 12 bucks a roll and you can do an entire gun with one roll. Or you can go the drugstore and get it in brown or even off white for winter. You'll find it in the bandage section. The nice thing about this shit is it also really improves the grip on your rifle. I bought some to wrap my shiny barrel but like the feel so much I also wrapped the pistol grip and forestock. Don't forget to take a magic marker and dull up the crown of your barrel. And see if you can find a hood to go over the end of your scope so the sun doesn't glint off of it.

Okay. Wear clothing that will blend in with your surroundings but there’s no need to get fanatical about it. Stay off the crests of hills and ridges. If you can’t avoid them, crawl over them. When you make your set, put some brush at your back if at all possible to break up that outline. Keep the sun at your back if possible to prevent glare in your scope and off your rifle and do what you can to prevent the sun from reflecting off shiny stuff. That's a very real and preventable hunt-killer.
Most of all, hunt coyotes like you would deer. Use the wind to your advantage, don’t fucking move more than necessary and don’t outline yourself if you can help it.

And I know at least one person out there is asking after all that, why do I own camouflage?
Because it looks cool, man. You see somebody wearing a camo shirt, you know he's a fucking redneck.

Woman of the Year (updated)

Orbitup was wondering if the phot was 'shopped (see the first couple of comments) so I did some checking and googled "woman flipping off Ahmadinejad" and came up with a few links. I found the original picture at this site:
Below is the original photo. Yes, she did block the car and yes, she was arrested. Finger or not, she's got some brass ovaries.
She's still Woman of the Year.

Don't ask if you don't wanna know



And who do have to thank for this, Tattoo Jim?
That's right - Yolo!

You couldn't pay me enough.......




































Besides, I think my chest tattoos would ruin the look.

FUCK YOU OBAMA!!!!!

Welcome home, Dad!

His dog welcomes him home from Afghanistan


Thanks to Yolo for this great video