Monday, October 22, 2012

RUN TOTO RUN!!!!!

We're having our first rain of the year today, maybe a tenth of an inch here, and the fucking newscasters are in their glory with the storm (Storm? Really?) watch broadcasts. Things started to settle down a bit and the weatherfolks were loosening their ties and bras when holy shit, somebody called in a report of a funnel cloud, with a dust devil tornado, probably a F minus 4, actually touched down and may or may not have lifted the roof off of a dairy barn. Motherfucking news station damned near exploded from all the excitement, man.
For 50 minutes now, I've been hearing advice on surviving a tornado from people that knew people that have actually "ridden one out". Ridden one out is the new buzzword of the day.
Oh, now they're showing footage of the corrugated tin roof that was damaged during the 'tornadic activity', it's a patch of sheet metal about 4 feet square, and I'm being advised to stay inside and put off running errands and not to seek shelter under a highway overpass. That could handy to know, I guess.
Whoa, they just showed a couple of tiles that were blown off a house, or maybe thrown by a couple of kids. Wait a minute, now they're showing some trees that were either freshly pruned or damaged during the twister. I'm more inclined to believe freshly pruned seeing as it is that time of the year and all the branches are laying in neat piles around the tree trunks.
Fuck, I'm getting all freaked out. Maybe I should go hang out in the bathroom til Spring, huh?

8 comments:

hiswiserangel said...

God you Kalifornians are pussies.

angrymike said...

Amen angel amen............lmao

wirecutter said...

Hey! You two have no idea how hard I have it out here. Wait.... neither do I.
Oh, I got one! When I get the the winter issue of the Cabela's or Bass Pro catalogue I just chuck the fucker in the trash can. I've got no use for the snappy winter camo that y'all can wear.
How's that for having it rough?

rpm2day said...

Just watching the news. A boat cushion got blown into the neighbor's yard! As if that's not bad enough they're predicting that it's gonna snow in the mountains...
Shiiiit!
I spent my youth in Ohio and Missouri. The weather out here in Kali is child's play.

drjim said...

The absolute WORST storm I've been through since I moved to Kaliforniastan in 1980 was maybe a "6.5" on the 1-to-10 scale of what I'd seen growing up in Northern Illinois.

Lou said...

Hey, we just had gazebo damage reported here in Sacto and the low tonight could get down to the mid 40's. I'm huntin' down my Boy Scout merit badge book on Emergency Preparedness!

Stinkwilly said...

Wussies!!!Read the link and give thanks to living in the bananna belt...........

http://forecast.weather.gov/showsigwx.php?warnzone=WAZ037&warncounty=WAC065&firewxzone=WAZ686&local_place1=&product1=Winter+Storm+Warning

Dean Carder said...

They would absolutely shit their britches during a real tornado. try looking at whole blocks of homes that have dissapeared or even whole towns. Take a look at pictures of the town of Greenville kansas before and after or Joplin Missouri. A tornado is nuthin to fuck around with.