He was all happy and shit to go for a ride but when I pulled into the parking lot of the vet's, he looked at me and said "Aw, hell no." It has been a freaking year since he's been there but he still remembers it.
I normally have him dismount from the truck through the back passenger door on the curb side to keep him from dashing out into traffic, therefore extending his life by about 1.5 seconds, so naturally that SOB went over to the driver's side and curled up into a tight little ball. I went to the driver's side and he went to the passenger's side. We did that 4-5 times before I got pissed and grabbed a rear leg to ease him out.
I finally got him out of the truck but couldn't get him into the office, so I walked him back and forth past the door a few times, then on the last pass I snatched the door open and shoved him inside before he could react.
He hit the scale. I no longer have a 75 pound pit, now I've got an 85 pound pit.
One of the vet techs that gave him his shots a couple years ago walked out and saw him sitting there and went "Oh, hell."
I feel ya, darlin'.
A couple of minutes later the cutie at the desk said they were ready for him so would I please come this way?
He wasn't having none of that shit and dug in. I tried pulling and pulling and couldn't budge him, so I had to pick up that growling, snarling 85 pound asshole dog and physically carry him to the exam room. The girl started laughing when I told them they really needed to invest in some slippery floors.
I failed to see the humor in it.
Once he was in there, they gave us a few minutes so I could calm him down, and he did. At least until they sent in two brand new girls to give him his shots. That's it, send in the newbies. These poor kids couldn't have been more than 18 years old and I could tell by the expressions on their faces they had obviously been briefed on his assholiness.
One of the girls hands me a cloth muzzle and tells me to slip it on. Yeah, right. I handed it back and told her I wasn't afraid of him, but I need to talk with him and would they please excuse my language?
"Jack, if you don't calm the fuck down and I mean right now, I'm gonna kick your ass." He sat down and ducked his head into my lap. I grabbed him by the collar and told the girls to go for it.
"I don't see how you did that," one of the girls said when they were done.
"What?" I asked.
"He had his head buried in your crotch, growling, and you act like that's an every day thing." She looked seriously amazed.
"Well, I guess he believed me when I told him I was going to kick his ass then. Come on, Jack, let's go home. I'll drive."
