Yeah, you'll have to open them to find out what they are because if I had to be reminded of them, then you do too.
Seriously man, these songs made me gag even as young as I was when a couple came out. It's a pretty safe bet to assume that the very first time I ever said "What the fuck" was also the very first time I heard the 3rd song.
What really sucked was there were a couple of them that the old man liked, so he went down and bought the albums! I'm not fucking kidding. So not only was I subjected to it from AFN every 30 minutes, I had to endure it at home too.
I'd be standing in the hallway listening to that shit, not just the one song but the. entire. fucking. album. sides one and two, and I'm calculating the distance to the bedroom window, wondering if I can get up enough speed to crash through the double pane window frame and do a 4th floor header while retaining enough forward trajectory to land on the hood of SFC Jackson's 8 year old Mercedes. I never liked that prick anyhow.
If I'd had my shit together when Dad died, I'd have snatched those records along with a few others and shot some trap with them. My little brother would've gladly thrown for me. "PULL!!! Take this down your Country Roads, motherfucker!!!"
Don't even get me started on his near obsession with Olivia Newton John, bro. I'll snap.
I only had 5 or 6 songs in my head and just couldn't think of anymore. It's like I blocked that shit out of my memory, just drawing a blank, a fucking blue screen, and who says God ain't great?
I wanted to do 10 songs, but I was stuck. Then I had one of those Aha! moments yesterday. I got up and asked Miss Lisa what her favorite 70s songs were and she started rattling shit off for me. "Hold on, darlin'. I'm writing this shit down." I could probably do another list of ten with the leftovers.
Wholeheartedly agree with ALL of them. But you left out the one where they left the cake out in the rain...my all time #1 worst
ReplyDeleteThat's probably on Lisa's list of favorites.
DeleteYou saved me the trouble. How the hell did that one even made it out into the world? Was this guy's daddy VP or something?
DeleteStrangely enough I had forgotten all of them but thanks to you, now I have to forget them all over again. I will say though that I like that gurl background singer on the Denver toon.
DeleteMy little brother did indeed use my "John Denver's Greatest Hits" album for target practice (BB gun).
ReplyDeleteWell, can you blame him?
DeletePeople don't like John?
DeleteSeriously?
Almost heaven, tight vagina,
Tits like mountains, wetter than a river.
I was older, much older than she
Younger than was legal
Why I had to leave...
I hear her voice in the morning hours she called me.
The pregnancy test was pos
That she took yesterday
And driving down the road I get a feeling that a warrant came out yesterday.
Your choice is spot on. Muscrat Susie, where's my shot gun.
ReplyDeleteI just randomly checked 3,5,9,10,1. Nothing to hear here folks, move along.
ReplyDeleteBoy, that was a fucking bucket of nostalgia...
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry.
DeleteThis is the same shit that used to play over and over on AM radio back in the 70s.
ReplyDeleteNasty, wasn't it? Be driving down the road puking out the window.
DeleteMy thought exactly.
DeleteThat, and it's a whole lotta annoying ear wigs even without listening.
I had no joy, no fun, no seasons in the Sun being reminded of that dreck.
Well, heck. Nazareth 'Love Hurts' . Badfinger, 'Baby Blue'. AND, my personal favorite execution of song writing ever, Jefferson Starship, 'Miracles' . Just sayin'
ReplyDeleteThis was intended to be more along the lines of sappy pop music.
DeleteYou are correct sir, I am women hear me bitch,buy my records and make me rich !
ReplyDeleteBwahaha! I had to stop after the first few.
ReplyDeleteYou did certainly pick out some good toilet ploppers with your list. I agree with most of them.
ReplyDeleteWell, #2 I like, the rest? UGH! So, I would say replace #2 with anything Anne Murray ever sang
ReplyDelete"soft rock" is just slurry.
ReplyDeleteThat’s a pretty good shit list, Kenny. Thanks! I’d forgotten most of that depressing shit even existed. There where quite a few more, but I don’t have the brain power left to waste trying to remember them. BTW, I did not listen to a single one of them tonight, just hit the link to see what they were. Eod1sg Ret
ReplyDelete"Seasons in the Sun" probably tops my list of anti-songs.
ReplyDeleteWatching Scotty Grow is creepy.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all of them except "You've got a friend". That song is a guilty pleasure. Let the rest BURN!
ReplyDeleteMy millennial sons revere the 70s for its contribution to early metal, but I assure them regularly that it was not all 'Stairway' and "My Woman From Tokyo'. In fact, I enlightened them recently to the aural insult that was 'Billy, Don't Be a Hero' and it was only then that they agreed that perhaps it was NOT musical nirvana all the way from Purple Haze through Who Are You. There was some incomparably BAD pop music perpetrated during that hallowed decade. No list of pain-inducing music would be complete without including fork-in-the-eye classics from the Bay City Rollers, Bread, Carly Simon and the disco Bee Gees.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, this could lead to an entire blog of nothing BUT lousy AM radio shite from the dark days of the 1970s.
BTW, the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Shanandoah River are 90% in Virginia, not West by God Virginia. Fuck that hippie. Eod1sg Ret
ReplyDeleteFoe some reason, the Brave browser won't follow any of the links. Just don't tell me that Seasons in the Sun is one of them. I was 10 years old when that came out and I found out that I had been depressed my entire life until then without knowing it.
ReplyDeleteWell that was a trip down memory lane to the most miserable time of my life - high school and just after.
ReplyDeleteThere was some good music made then but most was just dreck like this shit.
Well , I was only born in 69 ( summer of love on July 4rth no less , lol ) But I remember and grew up with all of this crap ... I would like to add Anne Murrey and Nana Miscourri (spelling ? ) and a whole lot of other shitty AM tunes but I also grew up with some of the best , like Jimi Hendrix , Led Zep , CCR, Cream etc , sooo I probably turned out to be mostly like y'all , LOL
ReplyDeleteAfter the 2nd song, I almost gave up. You dealt w/ it, so could I! I didn't make more than a few seconds per song but the damage is done! #3... I had never heard that one before. Please, I hope to never hear it again!
ReplyDeleteMuskrat love is a crowd favorite
ReplyDeletePaul J
Dear Lord, man, you are correct. AFN (It’s 2 o’clock in Central Europe. From AP, UPI and the major American networks, the news is next on AFN…) was still playing that crap when I was there in the 80’s. All I had to was see the titles and it’s instant earworm….but you knew that would happen to most of us, didn’t ya, you schmuck. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteMy most hated songs:
ReplyDelete1) Archie Bell & the Drells: "The Tighten Up"-- Waste of O2, time & vinyl.
2) The Commodores: "Brick House" (1977) -- when repeatedly played by the 'vibrancy',
it gets on your last nerve.
For me, it was anything by the Steve Miller Band, then and now.
DeleteDon't know why.
Steve Miller's got quite a following, but his stuff always struck me as cheap.
DeleteYup...every one of those soul crushing shit nuggets reminds me of the worst times of my childhood...and I had a shit-ton of them.
ReplyDeleteBlue Swede Hooked on a feeling SUCKS BIG TIME as the all time worst.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear of your wasted & troubled youth. I dont even recognize most of this shit. I'm so glad we had a good AM radio station in the next town over. Sometimes later at night if we had no particular place to go, we'd stop in & get the DJ stoned.
ReplyDeleteAnd as an added bonus people, it's gonna take six months to wash those songs (and others like them) out of your YouTube algorithm.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy!
You EVIL bastard!!
ReplyDeleteIt's taken me near 50 years to get that crap outta my head and you've just ruined it!
A pox upon ye!!
True story...
In 2018, wife and I took our first ever vacation.
Three weeks in Thailand, Malaysia, and Singapore.
In each country, in numerous places, from roadside hooch shop, to dive bar, from prostitute-filled nightclub, to fast-food joint...
"Country Roads" was on CONSTANT replay!
For some unknown reason, the Asian-rim LOVES that song.
Between that and a constant stream of 20 year-old low-end country & western "B-sides" it became a running joke the entire time we were there.
In one of the sketchier places we stopped in, the entire staff sang it flawlessly, regardless of the fact that MAYBE two of them spoke English.
UGH!!!
You nailed it, although the absence of a Partridge Family song is distressing, big fan?
ReplyDeleteOlivia Newton-John obsessions are forgiven because you know she was loose and would have been great.
Surprised you left out Gordon Lightfoot. Music to drown yourself to.
"Muskrat Love" inspired another song called "Hamster Love", and it contained a long list of recipe ideas for starving college students in the 1970s. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSt2RoZ8Ek4
ReplyDeleteGood God man, that flooded my brain of my youth in backwoods Louisiana. Made me nauseous and sick to my stomach hearing a couple of those. I feel that way every time I visit there.
ReplyDeleteMadMarlin
Absolutely great list of shit songs. What a list.
ReplyDeleteThose were all good solid picks. They suck. If you ever expand your list perhaps you would add the song "Patches"- one of the worst ever. Sung by a guy named Clarence Carter. Just horrible.
ReplyDeleteNo 1 wins easily for me. It came out when I was young, foolish and without good taste but I still hated it even then.
ReplyDeleteDunno about the 70’s (when I listened to rock that folks are sick of today), but they call this crap “Easy Listening.”
ReplyDeleteNothing easy about it. I feel your pain. MartyB
Memories...and not all of them bad. I agree with you on all but the first.
ReplyDeleteThe first song was the one that inspired this post!!!
DeleteEvery song by Simon and Garfunkel. Those were some depressing lyrics.
DeleteWonder how many people offed themselves listening to that crap.
You did that on purpose so people would click on the link and enter those songs into their youtube suggestion que.
ReplyDeleteYears ago, I was contracted to paint the interior of a home. Where the owners had two young boys, aged 4 and 6. The entire time I was there, approx. 2 weeks, these little savages played the Lion King album, both sides, each day, all day...They'll never know how close their album, along with themselves, came to being drowned in wall paint.
ReplyDeleteI did not click on any for fear of the trauma it would induce. After reading the above comments, I find it was a wise choice. Could you publish a list, reading it would be less painful than listening to them.
ReplyDeleteNo fucking way. I don't remember what all I posted so I'd have to go back and review them and I don't want to ruin today too.
DeleteKenny, Do you stream any of your music? If so, there's an online station called "that 70's channel". I listen to it through Iheartradio but my wife listens through other sources. Anyway, that station is phenomenal. I don't think I've listened to my i-pod in forever what with all my old 70's and 80's rock. This station plays tons of music like the ones you posted, all day long AND a lot of the DJ's know some of the history behind the bands and their songs making it even cooler.
ReplyDeleteNo, but I'm sure Lisa listens to it.
DeleteThanks for the warning.
That’s why I switched to hard core country music in the seventies, ole’ Hank, Waylon, and Willie were far better to listen to.
ReplyDeletethe Cowsills "indian Lake" should at least be honorable mention. Serious earworm potential
ReplyDeleteI’ve never been a big music “fan”. When I hear a old song, it tends to make me remember people, places and times where it was playing. Those songs were popular at a very good time in my life.
ReplyDeleteSo,
Thanks for the memories.
-Frank
Ditto
DeleteOkay, you are going to hate me but hear me out...I like #3 but because it reminds me of how much I love WV. I don't care about the accuracy of the lyrics. Of the entire Appalachian range, I find the mountains of WV the coolest. While the entire range is beautiful, something about the raggedness in WV is appealing. Like the Appalachians themselves. People who lived hard lives but still managed to survive. None of the softness which has spread like a disease through America. That's my two cents.
ReplyDeleteI always wondered about that song since both the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Shenandoah River aren't in West Virginia. I guess if you're Rocky Mountain High enough it doesn't matter.
DeleteIf I ever hear any one of those songs again it will be too soon.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I hate you man.
ReplyDeleteIt's almost like I went out of my way to be mean, huh?
DeleteI love number 4...
ReplyDeleteThe rest are pure nightmare fuel though.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this list except I do like number 3. I would have added ALL disco on that list, it sucked back then and still sucks today. Never listened to the pop rock stations, always listened to the good stations that did NOT play this garbage. Southern Rock forever! Hybo
ReplyDeleteAgain, this was a list of sappy pop songs.
DeleteYou'll never see a list of disco songs here because I don't listen to that shit, nor did I listen to any of the stations that played it when it was popular.
Yup. Some real pukers there. You forgot the absolute #1 puker though, Macarthur Park. Also, I used to be a closet John Denver fan and when I was a kid I thought Billy Jack was a bad motherfucker.
ReplyDeleteFor me it is anything by Journey, it comes on the radio, it is gone....Journey sucks
ReplyDeletewasn't all of that on a Ronco Album ? The 70's greatist sHits or something like that? Think my sister had it back in the day.
ReplyDeleteOmg. It took me until #9 to see "Seasons in the Sun"... I figured that would have made the top 3 anyway...
ReplyDeleteOmg. It took me until #9 to see "Seasons in the Sun"... I figured that would have made the top 3 anyway...
ReplyDeleteThey were in no particular order. They all sucked.
DeleteWould One Tin Soldier make the cut?
ReplyDeleteThat was Song 5.
DeleteI agreed with everyone. But now watch one of those bastards get stuck in my head next time I mow the lawn. I'll be thinking of ya Kenny.
ReplyDeleteDrat. I have one that easily tops everything you put up, but it's a late 60s release and I guess you're doing just the 70s. But you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's right, the absolutely excruciating 'Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I've Got Love In My Tummy' by Ohio Express. Remember that?
ReplyDeleteMan, that song really did suck, didn't it?
Delete"Rain drops keep falling on my head...." you're welcome.
ReplyDeleteit's payback for when I played that Helen Reddy feature from hell.
irontomflint
Ho Lee Fuk
ReplyDeleteBoy, I feel lucky. I had never heard #1, 4, 7*, 8 or 9. *I'd heard America's original version of Muskrat Love, too many times, and wondered why they bothered. They were overrated.
ReplyDeletePretty much everything from Leonard Cohen should drive anyone over the edge.
ReplyDeleteCan't remember the band that perpetrated it, but my most hated song is "I Can't Live if Living is Without You". I think that's the title. The way the lead singer howled, made me want every dog in the neighborhood to howl along to drown it out!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, horrible song.
DeleteThat was Harry Nielsen. (Spelling?) Hybo
DeleteHarry Nilsson, "Without You".
DeleteThe song has an interesting history, which you can get details on with a search:
The song was written by two members of Badfinger, the lyrics by one and the chorus by another. They were meant to be two separate songs, but they decided to merge them. they recorded the song, but it was rather weak. Nilsson heard it at a party, thought it was a Beatles song & wanted to record it. His version kicked ass, the members of Badfinger were blown away.
“The Lion Sleeps Tonight” by the Tokens. Damn, I hate that fucking “song”.
ReplyDeleteOh come on, everyone knows that the urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is always just a whim away (a whim away, a whim away, a whim away).
DeleteLate to the party but I gotta throw this one out there cause I pretty much hate you all.....Starland Vocal Band only "hit"....Afternoon Delight. Could not escape the overplay summer of 76(?).
ReplyDeleteThey played that song at the end of Good Will Hunting, as Will drives to California to get his girlfriend back. I heard that and thought Jesus, they couldn't do better than that?
DeleteMy older brother worked at a Texaco station. Gave me a transistor AM radio that looked like a gas pump. I'm maybe 10 and I got this thing stuck to my ear listening to cheesy music all the time. The song Puppy Love comes on and he just snaps. Grabs the radio and throws in on the floor takes me into his room and shows me how to run his stereo and turn table. Opened up a whole new world for me. Wish I had that radio though. Be worth a couple of bucks I'll bet.
ReplyDeletePaul Anka "Having My Baby". I threw up in my mouth a little just typing the title.
ReplyDeleteI don't get it. I don't understand the blog or you commenters at all. But, I am only 73YO so I just haven't heard everything I guess. Suicide? I don't get that AT ALL. Must be LSD or Mesaling or Psylicybin. I wanted to be someone in transportation so I was very light on all of that shit.
ReplyDeleteNo, you obviously haven't heard everything if you don't understand the expression 'figure of speech'.
DeleteLighten up, man. Nobody here is thinking of suicide.
MacArthur Park by Richard Harris...still listed as the worst song ever recorded.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ReplyDelete.... when the Mooooon is in the seventh houuuuse
ReplyDeleteand Jupiterrrrr aliiiiiigns with Marrrrrz .
Ones missing dude .
You guys and gals are killing me with these posts. I can't believe I thought many here were my kindred spirits but this music thing is showing how wrong I was. Someone said something negative about Steve Miller I think and that's when I realized that I REALLY have different musical tastes than many. So many of the songs mentioned in these posts are so nostalgic that I associate them with certain events in my life. I mean, you folks probably don't like "The Streak" or Disco Duck. But probably do think the Doors were a good band. Good God I couldn't turn the radio off fast enough when they came on. But on the bright side, if Kenny gets paid by the comment, he's making bank on this one. :)
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with rayvet. I am a bit surprised at the almost unanimous condemnation of everything (except perhaps John Denver). About half of those are nostalgic for me, and associated with some of the best times in my life as a young man in the 70s. "Weak" may be applicable to many of them, but I still remember them fondly. The other half suck balls.
ReplyDeleteGoing to school and hearing, "And now, for the 52nd week in a row - Afternoon Delight." You could hear every radio on campus being shut down. ka-LICK! - I've got go hurl...
ReplyDelete#7 - Darryl Dragon ("The Captain") did much work with the Beach Boys as an arranger, writer, producer and touring stand-in for Brian Wilson.
ReplyDeleteToni Tennille had nice nips too.
Delete