I have seen #11 in person. Was crashing at a buddies house (it was about a three hour drive home in wet snow, in the dark, so I accepted the offered couch.) Who was dating an ex of mine from highschool. They "went to bed" and started to have fun, which considering back in highschool I had done the same thing to him didn't really bother me. Heard all the expected noises, followed by a wail/scream that would have done a banshee proud, which was followed by a couple of loud crashes and screams for help. This particular buddy has always been a bigger fella, so I immediately had the thought that the dumbass must have had a heart attack or something, so I jump up and run in there to help. What I find is that goober on his knees humping the air like a horny Chihuahua while his girlfriend is stuck between the wall and the bed upsidedown, legs flailing around.
Took me a couple of minutes to stop laughing enough to be able to help.
Apparently they wanted to try the "new" anal beads (that the ex had read "made the experience more intense"), and they had been going at it doggystyle (for some damn reason they were doing this *sideways* across the bed. Which was about a foot away from the wall.). The ex did the whole "I'm cumming, pull them out!", And my buddy, instead of following directions and pulling slowly, decided to start his Evinrude. That was when the ex shot across the bed like one of those toy cars McDonald's used to have in the happymeals (the ones powered by a ripcord). Both me and my buddies ended up sleeping on couches that night. I still make fun of his dumb ass for that one.
This f'ing list is awesome! I laughed so hard at most of them and wanted to share them with my wife. Then I remembered things that make me shit my pants laughing make my wife think lower of me.
#1 - good
ReplyDelete#2 - better
#3 - even better
#4 - best
#5 - fucking awesome
#6 - meh
#7 - truly
#8 - holy fucking hell, this one can't be topped.
#9...Dolly's not a lesbian.
ReplyDeleteI've never heard Elvira sing.
DeleteNothing is funnier than going to a fine restaurant and having them decant a bottle of Boone's Farm. Trust me on this, I've done it.
ReplyDeleteI have seen #11 in person. Was crashing at a buddies house (it was about a three hour drive home in wet snow, in the dark, so I accepted the offered couch.) Who was dating an ex of mine from highschool. They "went to bed" and started to have fun, which considering back in highschool I had done the same thing to him didn't really bother me. Heard all the expected noises, followed by a wail/scream that would have done a banshee proud, which was followed by a couple of loud crashes and screams for help. This particular buddy has always been a bigger fella, so I immediately had the thought that the dumbass must have had a heart attack or something, so I jump up and run in there to help. What I find is that goober on his knees humping the air like a horny Chihuahua while his girlfriend is stuck between the wall and the bed upsidedown, legs flailing around.
ReplyDeleteTook me a couple of minutes to stop laughing enough to be able to help.
Apparently they wanted to try the "new" anal beads (that the ex had read "made the experience more intense"), and they had been going at it doggystyle (for some damn reason they were doing this *sideways* across the bed. Which was about a foot away from the wall.). The ex did the whole "I'm cumming, pull them out!", And my buddy, instead of following directions and pulling slowly, decided to start his Evinrude. That was when the ex shot across the bed like one of those toy cars McDonald's used to have in the happymeals (the ones powered by a ripcord). Both me and my buddies ended up sleeping on couches that night. I still make fun of his dumb ass for that one.
This f'ing list is awesome! I laughed so hard at most of them and wanted to share them with my wife. Then I remembered things that make me shit my pants laughing make my wife think lower of me.
ReplyDelete