#5 - I gave my girlfriend a pad of massage coupons. An equal number of both sports massage and erotic massage coupons. Best birthday present ever.
#10 - Now that's funny!
#13 - fuck social norms. When one of the women I can't stand comes into the bar I frequent, I will pointed turn my back on her and anounce 'the bitch is here.' I don't care what, if anything, she thinks about me.
#14 - you can kill them with your dad's electric drill.
Ummm, no. In the vernacular around here, "pipe" refers to male plumbing. "Layin' pipe" means the same as "gettin' laid". When a woman gets 'the good pipe', she has enjoyed a superior example of male pelvic appendage.
I seem to remember a story that was published about neighborhoods in Los Angeles where a minority reporter was bitching and moaning about "rich" neighborhoods having all of the trees.
My wife watches one of those judge shows that try to determine the real father of a kid. Perhaps the fault of not knowing who the father is, should be answered by telling the women to stop being a slut. Myself, I can't stand any of those judge shows. I have been in court a couple of times, for divorce and it's follow up issues. And what I found is that, since I don't have the correct genitalia, it would have been better if I just did not attend. At least that way, they could tell me how I was going to get screwed by my ex harder than when we were married. And I might have been pissed off, but I would not have had to keep my mouth shut, to avoid a contempt of court charge. Because I really wanted to grab the judge and take out my frustrations on him, over how men did not have the same rights in court or after a divorce as a woman does.
I had both a female lawyer and judge in my divorce. The judge took no bullshit off my ex and there were times I felt bad for her. At one point the judge actually laughed at her.
BTDT. When I saw that the judge in my divorce case was female, my heart sank. I expected to get raked over the coals. Instead, the judge was merciless toward my ex. Not only was she excoriated for her behavior (adultery, theft of common property), the judge denied every item of my ex's requests for money or property, saying, "Honey, you already got every dime you're going to get from this man". I never though I'd walk out of divorce court with an ear-to-ear grin, while The Bitch looked like she'd just been sucker-punched.
#20 Needs glass for the eyelids, too. Trendsetters.
ReplyDelete#20 No, they aren't.....
ReplyDelete#20 Can you say BJ without her opening her mouth?
ReplyDeleteDon't know since I can't see if she has a tracheotomy.
Deletehow fucking stupid!
ReplyDelete#1. Tree prefer neighborhoods where they are not used to heat the occupants of said woods.
ReplyDelete#18 Remember, one of Jesus' more notable acts involved grabbing a bullwhip and kicking over tables.
ReplyDeleteWhen people ask WWJD, this is always an option. I imagine he tanned a few hides during that sacred act, too.
Delete#15 is not autocorrected. It is from the Dark Web (check out what is on the barbecue).
ReplyDelete#5 - I gave my girlfriend a pad of massage coupons. An equal number of both sports massage and erotic massage coupons. Best birthday present ever.
ReplyDelete#10 - Now that's funny!
#13 - fuck social norms. When one of the women I can't stand comes into the bar I frequent, I will pointed turn my back on her and anounce 'the bitch is here.' I don't care what, if anything, she thinks about me.
#14 - you can kill them with your dad's electric drill.
#20 - No, no, they're not.
another fine set!!!
Yeah, I’m probably too uncool to get #6
ReplyDeleteHer beau gave her a couple of hits off the pipe with the "shit that kilt Elvis" in it, which made her "fucked up as a football bat."
DeleteUmmm, no. In the vernacular around here, "pipe" refers to male plumbing. "Layin' pipe" means the same as "gettin' laid". When a woman gets 'the good pipe', she has enjoyed a superior example of male pelvic appendage.
DeleteSo he he gave her the good pipe till she lost her feet?
DeleteI seem to remember a story that was published about neighborhoods in Los Angeles where a minority reporter was bitching and moaning about "rich" neighborhoods having all of the trees.
ReplyDelete#20- Eats carrots like a wood chipper and sharpens pencils like a pro.
ReplyDelete19) DNA testing should be mandatory for every birth.
ReplyDeleteMy wife watches one of those judge shows that try to determine the real father of a kid. Perhaps the fault of not knowing who the father is, should be answered by telling the women to stop being a slut.
DeleteMyself, I can't stand any of those judge shows. I have been in court a couple of times, for divorce and it's follow up issues. And what I found is that, since I don't have the correct genitalia, it would have been better if I just did not attend. At least that way, they could tell me how I was going to get screwed by my ex harder than when we were married. And I might have been pissed off, but I would not have had to keep my mouth shut, to avoid a contempt of court charge. Because I really wanted to grab the judge and take out my frustrations on him, over how men did not have the same rights in court or after a divorce as a woman does.
Nobody should ever willingly add their DNA profile to a database. I'd certainly never do that to my child.
DeleteI had both a female lawyer and judge in my divorce. The judge took no bullshit off my ex and there were times I felt bad for her. At one point the judge actually laughed at her.
DeleteThat's Awesome!
DeleteStarker was here.
BTDT. When I saw that the judge in my divorce case was female, my heart sank. I expected to get raked over the coals. Instead, the judge was merciless toward my ex. Not only was she excoriated for her behavior (adultery, theft of common property), the judge denied every item of my ex's requests for money or property, saying, "Honey, you already got every dime you're going to get from this man". I never though I'd walk out of divorce court with an ear-to-ear grin, while The Bitch looked like she'd just been sucker-punched.
Delete#12 My high school days in the 70s.
ReplyDelete