Saturday, March 07, 2009

Trapped again!

Okay, once again I'm having a busy weekend. No posts until Sunday PM.
Sorry, but some things (and a woman) are more important to me than my blog.....
Y'all understand, I'm sure.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Good morning y'all!

Morning, again (I missed a post yesterday)!!

Mother of The Year

Fucking with the JWs

Don't believe I've picked on these folks yet.

Gotta be California (again)

Tweekers - Yeah, we got 'em here too


I feel ya, Bro

Al-Zarqawi in Paradise

Al-Zarqawi arrives in heaven.
There he is greeted by George Washington, who proceeds to slap him across the face and yell at him, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"
Patrick Henry approaches and punches Al-Zarqawi in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."
James Madison enters, kicks Al-Zarqawi in the balls and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"
Thomas Jefferson comes in and proceeds to beat Al-Zarqawi many times with a long cane and said, "It was evil men like you that provided me the inspiration to pen the Declaration of Independence!".
These beatings and thrashings continued as John Rudolph, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans came in and unleashed their anger on the Muslim terrorist leader.
As Al-Zarqawi lays bleeding and writhing in unbearable pain an Angel appears. Al-Zarqawi, weeping in pain, says to the Angel, "This is not what you promised me."
The Angel replies, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in heaven. What did you think I said?"

-Tattoo Jim

Jim, Jim, Jim.....

There will only be 49 contestants in the Miss Black America contest this year. No one wants to wear the sash that says, "IDAHO".

-Tattoo Jim

Monday, March 02, 2009

Morning, Cowboys (and Badgirl33)!!!

Holy fucking shit!!!!!!

Afraid of getting wet?

Yeah. Take a bath.

It's a fucking picture, dumbass!

It's telling me to wipe twice

Denny's Breakfast Special

In honor of the mother of the octuplets, Denny's is offering a new breakfast meal called the Octomama:
You get eight eggs, no sausage, and the guy next to you has to pay the bill.

Not bad, Yolo. Not bad at all....

Hey, they asked for it!

As the CFO of my business that employees 140 people, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our next President, and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, I figure that the clients will have to see an increase in our fees to them of about 8%. But since we cannot increase our fees right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who will have to go.
So, this is what I did. I strolled through our parking lot and found 8 Obama bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem.
These folks wanted change;
I gave it to them.


Due to cuts in the Border Patrol.....

Can't blame Jim, Yolo or VC for this one!

First Yolo gets me in trouble, Now VC......

White House Gardener dismissed

It has just been reported that the head gardener at The White House has been dismissed after 28 years of loyal service to many US presidents.
When interviewed, the gardener protested his innocence and said, "All I did was go into the Oval Office and ask Has anyone seen the spade and hoe?"

Shit Yolo, here we go again.....

From Grandma to Obama

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Good morning, Guys

Can you tell I'm an ass man?

And Ladies too.....

Bud Bikini - Smoke her, then the bikini

You're tops, Yolo!!!!

After the divorce.....

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....

-Tattoo Jim


From Susan

You may be a Taliban if....

You may be a taliban if......
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least two.
10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

-Tattoo Jim

Gotta be California (again)


ALWAYS tie the dog to the driver's side wheel so you don't forget him. But if you do forget, drive by my house so I can have a good laugh. I hate poodles.....

That's some serious redneckin'

You were warned.....


For Bookmole

My kinda teacher

Click to enlarge.
-Tattoo Jim

Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers

# 10 - Have to sit upright while driving.
# 9 - Pistol won't stay under front seat.
# 8 - Engine noise drowns out the rap music.
# 7 - Pit crew can't work on car while holding up pants at the same time.
# 6 - They keep trying to carjack Dale Earnhardt Jr.
# 5 - Police cars on track interfere with race.
# 4 - No passenger seat for the Ho.
# 3 - No Cadillacs approved for competition.
# 2 - When they crash their cars, they bail out & run.
# 1 - They Can't wear their helmets sideways.

-David Letterman