Saturday, July 04, 2009

I Love You

To-may-to, To-mah-to


My morning

I got up this morning feeling pretty damned good considering how fucked up I got last night, poured a cup of coffee and went out to the backyard to drink it as the sun came up. I wished I was fishing up in the mountains instead of my backyard, but with all the fucking Bay Area People up there camping, ya gotta take what you can get.
A little later I did some housework, napped for an hour, then headed for Bass Pro to buy some fishing shit. As I was going down the freeway, a car pulled up next to me and this woman rolls down here window and screamed "RACIST!" at me, probably in reference to my Fuck Obama sticker on my tailgate. I didn't say a word, just reached over and picked up a big ball bearing from my console and flung it as hard as I could at her window as it was going back up. Damn, she looked shocked! What the fuck did she expect?
I gotta tell you, sometimes I really enjoy being Right in a left wing world.

Friday, July 03, 2009

Sorry, y'all!

Okay. Here's the deal. I started my vacation tonight, it's only 7:45 PM, and I've already got a stagger in my gait. It was all I could do to post a titty picture. More tomorrow. Posts, not titty pictures.

Yes, I would.

-Dan Dan the Truck Drivin' Man

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Now we know why Deb moved to Maine

In Worchester, Mass. it's called "the turtlefucker"... WTF kind of statue is that????
-Tattoo Jim

For Andy

Here's a funny for Andy... keep your humor man... we're thinking about you man...
-Tattoo Jim
Yeah, Bro. Keep your head up. It's one thing to lose a job over something you did, but you lost yours because of what somebody DIDN'T do.

I'm at the top of MY food chain


Could've been me

Remember reading all the jokes about “Little Johnny”? You know, the kid that the teachers are afraid to call on for answers in class … for fear of what he might say.
Well, a photo of “Little Johnny” has finally surfaced. See if you can find him!
By the way, the theme of this picture was “MAKE A FUNNY FACE!”
Kinda obvious, isn’t he?
Thanks, Woody

But call now!

Stolen from Lula

Will's dog kill

Hey Wirecutter!
I finally got a dog kill man (first pic).....just kiddin' (second pic). Yeah, I'm still laughing my ass off over that shit. Anyways, this is Clover, our house mutt. We call her a "Jack Rat" because she's half Jack Russell and half Rat Terrier.. She is pretty much just spoiled damn rotten and thinks she rules the roost. I'll send ya some more pics of my "outside dog kills" later, lol. We've got four more dogs.
If you want to find out what the hell Will's talking about, click the Fish & Game link on the sidebar and go to the first post and read the comments. I think we both had a few to many that night.

Where's an automatic when you need it?

I was coming in from work tonight and at the corner of Needham and McHenry was a shitload of peacenik protesters, holding up signs against the war. Stupid motherfuckers. As tightly as they were bunched up, I could've taken the whole mob out with one well aimed burst.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....

Okay. Go buy some fresh string beans, enough to fill a big pot. Snap 'em and then steam them just enough to where they're tender but still good and firm.
While the beans are steaming, fry up a pound of bacon (Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon......) so that it's crispy and no fat on it. Don't drain it, you want bacon grease still on it. Crumble it up.
Take a couple of tablespoons of melted butter and drizzle it over the beans. Then take some garlic pepper (I use a lot, maybe a half a palm full) sprinkle it freely over the beans, then take your bacon and mix all that shit together.
Cover and put in the refrigerator. Let it sit for 3 or 4 hours to blend all the flavors.
Reheat, serve with ice cold beer.

Perez Hilton bitch-slapped

TORONTO (AP) - Police have charged the tour manager of the Black Eyed Peas with assault after he allegedly gave celebrity blogger Perez Hilton a black eye outside a Toronto nightclub.
Hilton said he got into an argument with band members Fergie and at the Cobra nightclub early Monday morning and was punched outside by Polo Molina, the band's tour manager. They were at the club following a Sunday night video awards show.
Molina turned himself in and has been charged with assaulting Hilton, Toronto Police Constable Tony Vella said. Molina is due in court Aug. 5.
Hilton, whose real name is Mario Lavandeira, complained about the incident on the microblogging site Twitter. He tweeted at 4 a.m.: "I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke."
Hilton, who is openly gay, said in interview with The Associated Press that he called a "faggot," a gay slur, inside the club after the musician told the blogger not to write about his band on his Web site.
"He was like 'You need to respect me.' He was in my face. He was obviously trying to intimidate me and scare me," Hilton said. "I was like 'I don't need to respect you. I don't respect you and I did say this, and I knew that it would be the worst thing I could possibly say to him because he was acting the way he was. I said 'You know what, I don't respect you and you're gay and stop being such a faggot.'"
Hilton, who was at the club with Lady Gaga, said he then left the club and was punched from behind. The pop stars and the blogger were among celebrities in Toronto for the MuchMusic Video Awards on Sunday night.

Don't turn you're back, Perez. Ex Miss California's gunning for your ass, too.

Well, fuck you too!

I locked my keys in my car outside of an abortion clinic the other night. Man, they get downright huffy when you go in and ask them for a coat hanger.

Deport Pedro


Gotta be California (again)

Ibeam's dog

Hey Wirecutter,
I saw your post about sending you pics of fish and kills and how you are eventually gonna want posts of dogs. Well since you already posted my latest largemouth, here's a photo of my dog just minutes before catching that beauty. His name is Luke and he's a Black Lab mixed with something. We got him from the pound as a puppy and he was apparently beaten, so he's a bit crazy in the head, but we love him just the same. He's about 8 years old and unfortunately now has a tumor on his stomach. You can kinda see it in the photo. The vet said to leave it be for now. He also had hip surgery when he was a puppy, so he walks with a bit of a limp. It's pretty funny to watch him run, as his left back leg swings out wildly! He follows me out to my local pond every time I go fishing, and all he does is basically what you see in the photo. He stands in the water and waits and watches. Every time I catch something, he tries to bite the fish as I bring it on shore. It's quite a sight and is funny as all hell!

Cutis Lowe's pig

Curtis Lowe
Wild Boar Hunting in Tennessee...Mmmmm Bacon!
Thanks, Curtis.
What caliber did you take him with?


Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....

-Tattoo Jim

You'll be missed, Lilah

Click to enlarge

Incoming Fire Has The Right of Way

Clint Smith, Director of Thunder Ranch, is part drill instructor, and part stand up comic.
Here are a few of his observation on tactics, firearms, self defense and life as we know it in the civilized world.

"The handgun would not be my choice of weapon if I knew I was going to a fight....I'd choose a rifle, a shotgun, an RPG or an atomic bomb instead."

"The two most important rules in a gunfight are: always cheat and always win."

"Every time I teach a class, I discover I don't know something."

"Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."

"Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets. I may get Killed with my own gun, but he's gonna have to beat me to death with it, cause it's going to be empty."

"If you're not shootin', you should be loadin'. If you're not Loadin, you should be movin', if you're not movin', someone's gonna cut Your head off and put it on a stick."

"When you reload in low light encounters, don't put your flashlight in your back pocket.. If you light yourself up, you'll look like an angel or the tooth fairy...and you're gonna be one of 'em pretty soon."

"Do something. It may be wrong, but do something."

"Nothing adds a little class to a sniper course like a babe in a Ghilliesuit."

"Shoot what's available, as long as it's available, until something else becomes available."

"If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. That's ridiculous..If I have a gun, what in the hell do I have to be paranoid for."

"Don't shoot fast, shoot good."

"You can say 'stop' or 'alto' or use any other word you think will work but I've found that a large bore muzzle pointed at someone's head is pretty much the universal language."

"You have the rest of your life to solve your problems. How long you live depends on how well you do it."

"You cannot save the planet. You may be able to save yourself and your family."

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Rowdy's first rodeo

This is Rowdy doing some mutton bustin' at his first rodeo.
His mama, Dirty Steve's wife, sent me a bunch of pictures and they're so damned cute that I'm gonna run them a few at a time.
Not bad for a 3 year old, huh?

I've been this fucked up before

Cool? Or gotta take a dump?


President Obama, during his ABC healthcare infomercial, appeared to say that healthcare would be cheaper if we don't give the elderly and the terminally ill the same treatment that they now receive. His logic seems to be, why give a terminally ill patient a hip-replacement; after all, they're still going to die. I guess they probably don't need painkillers either. I thought liberals were the party of compassion.