Saturday, July 18, 2009

Straight Up White Trash, God Bless 'im

-Dan Dan the Truck Drivin' Man

The Helen Keller experience - Amazing

Be sure and keep your sound down


The Holy Grail

The first thing I did this morning after leaving the house was to drive the 25 miles to Turlock and pick up the primers Stan had put back for me.
When he reached into his desk and pulled them out, I damned near wept. It was better than Christmas.
They cost me 60 some-odd bucks and change after taxes, but I would've given him $100 at this point.
God Bless you, Stan.

Mexico's building a wall????

See it here:

Friday, July 17, 2009

Joe? When ya comin' home, Joe?

Yeah, baby.......

Let's see now - A cold beer at hand, a dozen more cooling off, a pizza in the oven, a handgun in my waistband, Willie on the stereo, Punkindog snoring at my feet, the laughter of the kids next door as they run through my sprinkler fucking up my lawn, a thousand primers waiting for me a mere 25 miles away, family that kinda sorta likes me, and I got to help convict a dope fiend thief today.
I'm lovin' it.
Damn, I'm getting sentimental in my old age.......

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....

Fuck it. Throw the little bastard in the skillet.

Little Johnny nails it

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Johnny a bright Navajo Indian boy, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775" he said.
"Very good! Who said, 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'"
Again, no response except from Little Johnny, "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed, Little Johnny knows more about history than you do."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke"
The teacher glares around and asks, "All right!!! Now who said that?"
Little Johnny says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Little Johnny jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher , "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost mob hysteria someone said "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Little Johnny frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004."
The teacher started getting out the detention slips.
And as the class gathered around the teacher , someone said, "Oh shit, We're screwed!"
Little Johnny said quietly, "The American people, November 4, 2008"


Thursday, July 16, 2009

Life is good

Fuck me running, my gas bill was $8.58 this month. I'm shocked........ the month my ex left me (Okay, I ran her off) it was $350 and change.

That's my Punkindog!

My 1st Birthday party

For Ibeam. And Andy. And Jim. And Curtis. And Badgirl. And VC. And Me.

My favorite bedtime book

I'm a morning man, myself

Thanks, Dad

Somebody's fixin' to get their ass beat

Those damned background people

Sad but true


This is starting to get old

My gun guy just called and said that they got a shipment of primers in today and how many did he need to put back for me until I can drive the 25 miles to the shop?
Good God, I never thought I'd need a gun & ammo connection........

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Andy says "What Hope and Change?"

Just some links from work. I was surprised they didn't use any of my interview. I guess they didn't like when I told them where they can stick their newspaper.

Hey Andy, the same thing happened here in Modesto. They started printing my "local" paper in Sacramento and laid off off a shitload of local men and women here in town. When I heard that, I called and told them to stick my subscription up their fucking asses.

So this is what my readers think of me

Thanks, Yolo. I think.

To all our returning warriors


Bacon Ice Cream? Yeah, baby.....

Hi Ken!

Saw this article and knew you would absolutely love it! Enjoy!

Beverly in Phoenix

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. -- From bacon shakes to beer flavored ice cream, wacky flavors are proving to be a crowd favorite.
For Moo Creamery in the southwest, experimenting with different flavors has worked out in their favor.
Jalapeno cream cheese with a raspberry swirl is the newest flavor for the summer.
Jessica Pounds, owner of the restaurant, said it's all about experimenting.
"Playing around in the kitchen or when we're making pastries, coming up with different flavor combinations and turning into ice cream."
An experiment with a breakfast favorite has become a treat to many palates.
"A friend of mine loves bacon on everything, so she had asked me to make bacon ice cream. So I had a home ice cream maker and I made it and thought it was a terrible idea. So she had me try it and after three days of tasting it I finally thought it was good," said Pounds.
Amy Sakowski is not a huge fan of the bacon flavored ice cream but said the name is definitely true to taste.
"The ice cream tastes like vanilla and then salty. It tastes like breakfast, bacon," said Sakowski.
The restaurant makes nearly 100 gallons of ice cream a week, and most of the ingredients are homemade.
"We have no emulsifiers, stabilizers or unpronounceable words in our ice cream mixes," said Richard Yoshimura, owner of Moo Creamery.
The ice cream starts off as a custard like consistency made of cream, milk, egg yolks and sugar.
It's then poured into an ice cream maker, and 10 minutes later, it comes out like soft serve ice cream.
After adding a additional ingredients and mixed it is put in a freezer at 20 below temperatures for a few hours. After that, it is put in another freezer to soften so it's scoopable.
But it is a certain ingredient that can't be bought that Yoshimura said makes their ice cream different. "We give it a little love and a gourmet twist to it."

Too true

Yeah, that crazy ass Indian ex-wife of mine rubbed this shit in my face for 16 years. Hey, it ain't my fault they had bows instead of guns and no tolerance for smallpox.
Thanks for the post, Lula.

Doin' my civic duty

Okay, today I had to report for jury duty. Now as anti-government as I am lately (since November, anyways) I know I should've told them to stick their jury duty up their ass, but I gotta tell you, I don't have a problem with serving on a jury. For one thing, a trial by jury is guaranteed by our Bill of Rights.
That's minor shit, though. The real reason I didn't try to get out of it is: My daily commute is 70 miles round trip, me leaving the house at 5 AM and getting home around 6 PM, and that's after running non-stop all fucking day. With jury duty, my boss pays me my full wage, my commute is 4 minutes, it's from 10 AM to 4 PM with an hour and a half for lunch. I sit on my ass all day and I get to fuck somebody - either the defendant or the District Attorney, I don't care which as long as I have a part in it.
I put on a long sleeved shirt, slicked back my hair, shaved and washed behind my ears then headed down to do my civic duty. I parked in my usual spot when I have to go downtown and reported in. I read my book and drank iced tea until noon, then walked the block and a half to my truck and found a fucking parking ticket under my wiper. What the fuck? And I noticed the car with the Obama sticker next to mine had one too. I looked to my left and noticed for the first time the new 1 hour parking sign. Then another one to my right. I didn't even notice them when I parked, and apparently the dummycrat next to me didn't notice them either.
I was a bit dismayed, but what can I say? I had my head up my ass, and I'll pay the 30 bucks. But there's no reason for both me and the idiot parked next to me to both have a fucked up day so I did him a favor, took the ticket off his windshield and threw it away. What he doesn't know won't hurt him.........
Anyways, I went back after lunch, found a different place to park, read for a while and then got picked for a jury. THEY ACTUALLY PICKED ME!!!!!! Dumbasses! Wait 'til I stroll in tomorrow in a T-shirt and a chew in my mouth smelling like tonight's beer.
So now, I'm off work until Tuesday or Wednesday of next week, get to sleep in 'til 7 in the morning and get to participate in a 12 way fucking. And there's a actually a couple of nice looking ladies my age on the jury, too.
Excuse me, my beer is getting warm.
-Juror #3

Monday, July 13, 2009


The object of the game is to destroy American capitalism by having the government take over everything!
Wanna play? No??? Too bad, you're already playing....and quite frankly, in this game, nobody wins.
-Dan Dan the Truck Drivin' Man

Yeah, that's about right

How do .......... found this the other day and I reckon it sums up the situation pretty well.

A tribute to Clapton in one of my favorite places

Hey Wirecutter--Check out Gory Bateson's tribute to Clapton, filmed in the red light district of Amsterdam, at:

Pass it on.


Gotta be California (again)

Oh, so THIS is why you shouldn't take candy from strangers.....

But what about the Hope and Change?

WASHINGTON – Nine months into the fiscal year, the federal deficit has topped $1 trillion for the first time.
The imbalance is intensifying fears about higher interest rates and inflation, and already pressuring the value of the dollar. There's also concern about trying to reverse the deficit — by reducing government spending or raising taxes — in the midst of a harsh recession.
The Treasury Department said Monday that the deficit in June totaled $94.3 billion, pushing the total since the budget year started in October to nearly $1.1 trillion.
The deficit has been propelled by the huge sum the government has spent to combat the recession and financial crisis, combined with a sharp decline in tax revenues. Paying for wars in Iraq and Afghanistan also is a major factor.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Happy Birthday, Andy!

Dammit Andy, I forgot to wish you a happy birthday! I'm sorry, Bro. Really I am.
I know you lost your job (FUCK YOU OBAMA!!!) and that's a hell of a birthday present, but I truly hope that it opens new doors for you.
Is that invite to go fishing with you next spring still open? I'm still planning to head to Texas for a vacation.

My birthday present

The chair, not the dog.
Yes it is camoflauge, and yes it was bought at Bass Pro.
The chair, not the dog.
I don't know why, but I can't seem to take a picture inside unless there's a damned Punkindog in it.

Thanks, Yolo. I was starting to get a little worried for a minute.

Yep, that sounds about right

Click to enlarge

Rowdy's first rodeo

Sent in by Rowdy's Mom & Dirty Steve's Wife
Tear 'em up, Cowboy!

Let's play hangman!


The Angry Patriot

Okay, I fucked up.
Here's a blog that I meant to post a week or so ago and flat spaced it out. I don't know if it was the 1970s (or 80s or 90s....) or me getting caught up in my vacation or indulging in too much bacon (Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....) and Budweiser or what, but I forgot.
You can figure his blog out too by checking the title.

I can see right now we're gonna be stealing a lot of shit from each other.


Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes.

Palin in 2012!!!!

WASHINGTON – Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin said she's not only staying involved in national politics, but she plans to jump back into the national scrum when she leaves office at the end of the month.
The former Republican vice presidential nominee said she plans to write a book, campaign for political candidates from coast to coast — even Democrats who share her views on limited government, national defense and energy independence — and build a right-of-center coalition.