Saturday, August 29, 2009

Service pictures

Hey, Steve just put an idea in my head.
If you have any pictures of your days in the Service of our Country, please send them along. I would absolutely love to post them. Maybe I can dig up a few of my own from the 70s.
I don't care if they're Army, Air Force, Navy, the Gawdawful Marine Corps, or the Coast Guard (our most under-rated Service), I'll post them.
Whether they're action photos, kickback pics or party shots, they'll be welcome.
The only thing I ask is that you tell me what era, Service (units are cool) and location they're from. Names will be withheld if requested.
My email is k59lane@yahoo.com

-Wirecutter

She may be a teacher but she ain't real bright

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is! It's some flowers?"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is! It's a box of candy?"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered.
Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"
The boy replied, "A puppy!"

Gotta be California (again)


This would've been fitting


I did watch the funeral of Fuckhead Ted a little bit ago.
Not because I was all that interested but I was sure hoping that one of the Honor Guard would slip and take a tumble.

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....

http://baconbaconbaconbaconbacon.com/

Thanks, Badgirl.
As always, you come through!

Straight Up White Trash, God Bless 'em



Found your blog recently. Not often I find myself agreeing with an Okie.
Here are a couple of photos you might enjoy.
First... I can imagine your disgust with this young lady and her ruining her Okie shirt....
The pickup one... I pulled this from a website of odd photos... quite honestly I can't find anything wrong with it... gun.. pickup... nothing out of place here.
-Tex

Well, I've posted the Okie Girl a couple of times but she's a cutie and worthy of a re-post.
The pickup? Damn! A multi-colored truck driven by a guy waving a rifle - Straight Up White Trash, God Bless Him...........

Final thoughts on Fuckhead Ted

Hey Wirecutter, I hadda send this to you.
Enjoy, Murph

Friends,
Now that the initiaI impact of hearing that Ted Kennedy's passing has eased, I am trying to compose a poem that marks milestones and scenarios denoting how he lived his life.
The news is still ringing in my ears and I am reaching out to trusted and well grounded friends to help me find the words that so far have escaped me.
I seek descriptors that rhyme with some early thoughts:
1) Hypocrite.
2) Whoremonger.
3) Cheater.
4) Drunk.
5) Scammer.
6) Arrogant.
7) Coward.
8) Politician.
9) Elitest.
10) Kennedy.

Thanks, Murph. I think this nailed it.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Aaaargh!!!!

When I see our Nation's Flag flown at half staff and hearing that Fuckhead Ted is going to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery near War Heroes that gave their lives for our Freedom, I wanna puke.
Fuck, cremate his ass and toss him in the pond on Chappaquiddick Island.
Either that or load his ashes in a cartridge and fire him out of a gun that he advocated banning.
Asshole!!!!!!

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....


And when I say Bacon. Mmmm, bacon...... I mean it!!!!!!
Right on, Yolo!

Asshole!


-Yolo

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....

How many times were you told as a kid not to blow bubbles with your breakfast meat? "Don't blow bubbles with your bacon!" Mom would say, and "what's wrong with you? You're just like your father!" Ok, maybe the last part was just us, but still, have you ever tried to blow bubbles with bacon - it doesn't really work. It just makes a mess around the kitchen and leaves grease burns on your lips and coworkers. Sound the trumpets because Bacon Gumballs are here. Hurrah!
What's so great about Bacon Gumballs? Well, what better flavor can you imagine for gum? Mint is boring, cinnamon is overdone - it's time for Bacon Gumballs to be the first choice of gum aficionados. Each tin of Bacon Gumballs is loaded with bacon-y goodness, and after you've eaten all the gum, you can reuse the tin. And the tin will retain the scent of bacon for some time, blessing all you put in it with that wondrous and holy of smells. Bacon Gumballs - the gift that keeps on giving.

Thanks, Rick!

Own a piece of America? Yeah, right.





Own a piece of Americana?

Hell's bells. As a public school teacher whose insurance increased by more than $100, I can't even afford a piece of America.


Thanks to Karen!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Submissions

Hey, check this shit out.
I get about 40 emails a day from readers that are thoughtful enough to send me submissions.
Some of them I post, others I don't. Some of them I post right away, others I save for awhile. Almost all of them are appreciated.
Not that I don't like your submissions, but I can't publish everything I receive. Not to say that I don't get a kick out of some of them and pass them on to friends, but if I publish everything I get, not only will I piss a LOT of people off, but I won't have time for beer or bacon.

Some tips:
No nudity, guys - Sorry, but I have a lot of female readers that don't want to look at tits or pussy. Let's face it, would you want to see a bigger dick than yours on this site? Or any dick? Think before you answer.

No racism - While I post some racist shit, it's all in fun. And I pick on everybody. If you doubt that, click on the Okies or White Trash categories. If I suspect your submission is seriously racist, I'm bouncing it.

No liberal politics - I'm so goddamned Right Wing that I won't even make a left turn. I don't want to hear your left wing shit. Fuck off.

No anti Semitism - I have actually seen concentration camp sites when I was stationed in Europe. Them motherfuckers have had a hard row to hoe since the beginning of time. I ain't fucking with them folks.

Along the same lines - No White Power bullshit. I believe in White Pride, but I also believe in Black Pride, Brown Pride and Green Pride if there were such a thing. The key word here is PRIDE, not power. But I can't say I support Red Pride - while I have a considerable amount of Indian in me, my ex was almost full blooded Commanche and that woman was fucking crazy - turned me off to that shit.


Not that I've give you the no-nos, you can almost guarentee an immediate posting if you send me something that concerns White Trash, Bacon, Guns, dogs or a nice ass.
Thanks,
-Wirecutter

Tatical bacon


The season is summer, not sure the month. We’ve been holed up in TG HQ for seven years now. The zombies have fought long and hard, but the tide is seeming to finally turn. We will survive this invasion, this walking pestilence. We will, because we were smart enough to stock up on Tac Bac – Tactical Canned Bacon. Yes, we have been surviving on bacon. That is why we are strong; that is why we’ll win.

Hang in there, Steve. As long as there's bacon, there's hope.

Works on the windshield, too!


Oh Happy Day!


Thanks, Sweetstuff

Gotta be California (again)


A guy wearing sandals?
Am I the only one that noticed his knees are bruised?

Masturbation is now out of the question


Now that's some serious attitude!


-Yolo

Can't blame 'em


Thanks to Kousin Karl

Ted's dead! And I'm glad!

Man, I've been waiting all fucking day to make this post.

Some thoughts on the subject:
First of all, I wish no ill will on anybody. But he was already sick, so what the fuck.

We've burned through John, Robert, and now Edward. Are there any more out there? Is the United States FINALLY safe fron Kennedy liberalism?

I can just picture Mary Jo waiting for him in the afterlife saying "Mmmhmm, now you're gonna be MY bitch........"

The Modesto Bee actually mentioned some of his faults - in short, he was a drunken whoremongerer. I bet him and Bill Clinton got along just fine.