Saturday, October 24, 2009

Straight up White Trash, God bless 'er

No Jim, this is NOT the original Mrs. Wirecutter.
Mrs. Wirecutter (#1) was tattooed.

Piss Poor Prior Planning


Gotta be California (again)

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....


You called it, Bro

Wordplay can be fun


Best tombstone EVER


(Bend Over, Here It Comes Again)
-Tattoo Jim

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Aw, how cute!

Well, somebody's happy

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, lost jobs, Savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc.......
I called Lifeline. Got a freakin' Call Center in Pakistan . I told them I was suicidal. They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.



And then Kyle beat my ass

Oh, she's gonna be pissed.... er, pee'd


Cat betrayed


Yeah, why?

Why is it that if you cross the North Korean border illegally you get thrown into prison and get 12 years of hard labor... if you cross the Iranian border while out supposedly leisurely hiking in the hills you get arrested and imprisoned... but if you cross the U.S. border illegally, you get a drivers license, a Social Security card and free health care?

See? Hotties hate you too!



"To the Members of the California State Assembly: I am signing Assembly Bill 962.
This measure would require vendors of handgun ammunition to keep a log of information on handgun ammunition sales, store ammunition in a safe and secure manner, and require the face to-face transfer of ammunition sales.
Although I have previously vetoed legislation similar to this measure, local governments have demonstrated that requiring ammunition vendors to keep records on ammunition sales improves public safety. These records have allowed law enforcement to arrest and prosecute persons who have no business possessing firearms and ammunition: gang members, violent parolees, second and third strikers, and even people previously serving time in state prison for murder.
Utilized properly, this type of information is invaluable for keeping communities safe and preventing dangerous felons from committing crimes with firearms.
Moreover, this type of record keeping is no more intrusive for law abiding citizens than similar laws governing pawnshops or the sale of cold medicine. Unfortunately, even the most successfullocal program is flawed; without a statewide law, felons can easily skirt the record keeping requirements of one city by visiting another. Assembly Bill 962 will fix this problem bymandating that all ammunition vendors in the state keep records on ammunition sales.
As Governor, I have sought the appropriate balance between public safety and the right to keep and bear arms. I have signed important public safety measures to regulate the sale and transfer of .50 caliber rifles, instituted the California Firearms License Check program, and promoted the use of microstamping technology in handguns. I have also vetoed many pieces of legislation that sought to place unreasonable restrictions and burdens on firearms dealers and ammunition vendors.
Assembly Bill 962 reasonably regulates access to ammunition and improves public safety without placing undue burdens on consumers. For these reasons, I am pleased to sign this bill."

Always misunderstood

The lesbians next door asked me what I would like for my birthday. I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex.

It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."

I cannot even imagine.....

Stolen from Daver:

Watch where you step

No rats in MY trailer park!

A year or so ago me and Brother Jerome were harassing each other, making comparisons on White Trash and 'Hood Rats, laughing about how much we were alike.
He brought up the fact that his people were crackheads, mine were tweekers, both of us had family that made a career out of welfare, how both of our people couldn't take a walk around the block unarmed, mismatched tires on our cars, how you could tell when it was the 15th or 1st of the month by all the folks sitting in lawn chairs next to the mailbox waiting for their government checks, etc, etc.
I had to stop him though, when he said something about us both having rats.
"Naw man, we ain't got no rats in the trailer park" I said.
"What you sayin', you got no rats in the trailer park?" he asked. "You're lyin' to me. I know y'all got rats, man."
"I'm tellin' you Bro, we don't have rats. But you oughta see the size of our motherfucking mice. They're damned near a foot long!"

Book Report

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.
One student turned in the following book report with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic:..... Cost - $29.99
Clinton:..... Cost - $29.99

Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read.
Clinton:... Over 3 hours to read.

Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton:... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:.... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:..... Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:.... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:.... Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:..... During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:... Let's not go there.

Titanic:.... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton:..... Monica' s forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:..... Monica.. ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:...... Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing.

Thanks, Woody.

Ain't that the truth


Gotcha, fucker!

Coincidence? I think not....

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Evil Cats

I thought all the freaks were in California

Looking for a Girlfriend - Watch more Funny Videos

If you get a commercial, click it again.

Blame Yolo for this one

Trust your government, Willie

Them Depends can slow ya down


Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....

Hmm, this might've saved my marriage

Boys will be boys

-Tattoo Jim

Reloading 101

Top of the Chain is running a series of articles on reloading, and up to part 2 so far. It's a good read for those of you that haven't taken the plunge yet. Check it out.

Wow. I'm impressed!