Saturday, January 16, 2010

Oh well.....

Spent the afternoon with my dad drinking beer and talking shit. It was a good time, even after he ran over my ivy and hit the tree backing out of my driveway. He was backing out, not the tree....

Poor Mikey

As we’ve reported before, Sen. Frank Lautenberg (D-N.J.), encouraged by New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg, wants to prohibit anyone on the FBI’s terrorist watchlist from possessing a firearm. Yet, the list and its criteria are secret, and Lautenberg’s bill would criminalize the exercise of a constitutionally protected right while denying a person the opportunity to clear himself of accusations in a fair and open hearing before a court of law. Even today, thousands of people who aren’t terrorists cannot prevent the list from misidentifying them, causing them delays and embarrassment when trying to board commercial aircraft.

It’s one thing when an adult gets the run-around at an airport, because he or she has a name identical or similar to someone the FBI is watching. As the American Civil Liberties Union has pointed out, the Transportation Security Administration’s (TSA) “automatic selectee” list -- its list of people who are not permitted to board an aircraft without being given the once-over by the agency’s machines and uniformed, latex-gloved personnel -- is based on people’s names, not on physical factors like age.

But when the system is so unorganized that it cannot distinguish a kid from a terrorist, what’s going on here? Yesterday, the New York Times reported that for the last six or seven years, one of Lautenberg’s constituents -- eight-year-old New Jersey Cub Scout Michael “Mikey” Hicks -- hasn’t been able to get on a plane without being patted down like your average neighborhood hubcap thief with his palms on the hood of a police cruiser and a nightstick between his legs. Repeatedly mistaken for someone on the FBI’s terrorist watchlist since he was two years old, Mikey’s encounters with the federal government have consisted of, as his mother puts it, “Up your arms, down your arms, up your crotch, someone is patting your 8-year-old down like he’s a criminal.”
- www.NRA-ILA.org

While the headline on today's mailing from NRA-ILA got my attention, what really grabbed me by the nuts is in the first paragraph, the part that reads that they want to prohibit anybody that's on the Fed's Terrorist Watchlist from possessing a firearm, but the list itself and the criteria for being on that list is secret.
Am I on the list for my "Fuck You Obama" posts? Because I don't patronize muslim-owned businesses? Because I dare criticize the Obamessiah? For being conservative? Because I watch Fox News? Because I own firearms? Because I drink domestic beer? Because I wear cowboy boots? Because I work, support myself and pay my taxes instead of relying on the government?
Are YOU on the list?
C'mon, give us a clue here.

Thanks, PETA!

I was reading the forum at Predatorprofessionals.com last night and one of the topics was unusual sounds that bring coyotes in. Among them were listed dolls that cry, ticking alarm clocks hidden in the brush, car horns, weird off the wall shit like that.
But the one that got me was a red box bird call that's sold by - get this - PETA.
I read that and immediately went to google and found PETA's website looking for one of those calls, not necessarily because I wanted something better to bring them in, but so I could whack a coyote using one and then send in a picture of my kill to PETA, thanking them for putting out such an outstanding coyote call.
Unfortunately, I couldn't find one.
If anybody out there knows where I can get one or if you have the time to find it on their website, please pass the information on to me.
I can't pass this up.......

I may be dying

Man, I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.
I bought a 30 pack of beer last Sunday (I'm one of them economy shoppers - I buy in bulk) and I still have 15 beers left. This is the first time something like this has ever happened.
It's not like I quit drinking. I have a couple or 3 most nights but that's it. And check this shit out - twice now, I've finished a beer, gotten another one from the icebox and then put it back 5 minutes later and went to bed!!! That scares the fuck out of me.
There's been a couple of nights I haven't drank anything at all, but that's not real unusual. But usually a 30 pack lasts me 2 days, tops. But a week? And if I don't polish off the rest of them tonight it might even stretch into two weeks.
I'm scared. I'm either dying or worse yet, turning into a lightweight.

Makin' do with what ya got


-Tex

For Karen


Another "Aw, fuck" moment in time


Friday, January 15, 2010

WWJD


World's worse portrait


Both in subject matter and quality.
Damn, that thing is ugly......
Thanks, Karen.

Wake me up tomorrow

Man, you know you didn't get a good nights' sleep when you wake up thinking about the nap you're going to take later.

Sic 'em, Dawg

Sorry, I couldn't resist the title considering my post from last night.

From Yahoo News:
Rush Limbaugh is not backing down from his claim that President Barack Obama is trying to score political points off the earthquake in Haiti.

Challenged by a caller during his show Thursday, Limbaugh said: “If I said it, I meant to say it, and I do believe that everything is political to this president.”

“Everything this president sees is a political opportunity, including Haiti, and he will use it to burnish his credentials with minorities in this country and around the world, and to accuse Republicans of having no compassion,” Limbaugh said in comments flagged by the liberal blog Think Progress.

Limbaugh has come under fire from both the right and the left for saying that the earthquake played directly into Obama’s hands, allowing him to look “compassionate.” The host claimed the White House’s response would bolster Obama’s standing in the “light-skinned and dark-skinned black community in this country.”

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Dawg???

Okay, my name is not "Dawg".
The next time I hear some young fucker call me Dawg, I'm gonna nut up and pistol whip his punk ass.
I don't know what the fuck happened, I don't know if it's the fact I look a little rough, I don't know what the deal is, but my name is not "Dawg".
I don't give a fuck if you think you're cool, I don't give a fuck if you think I think I'm one of "you", I don't care if it's the vernacular of the day, but don't call me "Dawg".
You're a fucking youngster. You ain't been nowhere and you ain't been through half the garbage I've been through, and you damned sure ain't paid your fucking dues as far as I'm concerned.
I'm a greybeard and I've been places you've never even heard of. I've done things that would make you shit and I may have even fucked your mama. I ain't your fucking dog unless you're willing to be my bitch. So shut the fuck up, boy.
I suggest you call me "Sir".

Memphis, California?

Sounds about right

Al Gore, Bill Clinton and Barrack Obama go to heaven.
God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?"
Al replies: "Well, I believe that I won that election, but that it was your will that I did not serve... And I've come to understand that now."
God thinks for a second and says: "Very good. Come and sit at my left."
God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe in?"
Bill replies: "I believe in forgiveness. I've sinned, but I've never held a grudge against my fellow man, and I hope no grudges are held against me."
God thinks for a second and says: "You are forgiven, my son. Come and sit at my right."
Then God addresses Barrack. "Barrack, what do you believe in?"
He replies: "I believe you're in my chair."

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Economical Destruction


-Phil

Tiger Shark


-Stevienatt

World's Worst Security Dog....

and World's Worst Hunting Dog

Anti-gun Senator shoots intruder




http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/national/article/74-year-old_n.c._state_senator_shoots_wounds_intruder_at_his_home/287987/P10/


Long time Anti-Gun Advocate State Senator R.C. Soles, 74, shot one of two intruders at his home just outside Tabor City, N.C. about 5 p.m. Sunday, the prosecutor for the politician's home county said.

The victim, Kyle Blackburn, was taken to a South Carolina hospital, but the injuries were not reported to be life-threatening, according to Rex Gore, district attorney for Columbus, Bladen andBrunswick counties..

The State Bureau of Investigation and Columbus County Sheriff's Department are investigating the shooting, Gore said. Soles, who was not arrested,declined to discuss the incident Sunday evening.

"I am not in a position to talk to you," Soles said by telephone. "I'm right in the middle of an investigation."


The Senator, who has made a career of being against gun ownership for the general public, didn't hesitate to defend himself with his own gun when he believed he was in immediate danger and he was the victim.

In typical hypocritical liberal fashion, the "Do As I Say And Not As I Do" Anti-Gun Activist Lawmaker picked up his gun and took action in what apparently was a self-defense shooting. Why hypocritical you may ask? It is because his long legislative record shows that the actions that he took to protect his family, his own response to a dangerous life threatening situation, are actions that he feels ordinary citizens should not have if they were faced with an identical situation.

It has prompted some to ask if the Senator believes his life and personal safety is more valuable than yours or mine.
But, this is to be expected from those who believe they can run our lives, raise our kids, and protect our families better than we can.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Gotta check that level daily

Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed that he was white from the neck to the top of his head.
In a sheer panic and fearing he was turning white all over, he called his doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.
After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.
Barack drank the concoction and said, "That tasted like bullshit!"
"It was," the doctor replied, "you were a quart low."
-Yolo

Monday, January 11, 2010

New KFC Dinner Combo


We all remember the "Hillary Meal" (small breasts and big thighs), right?
NOW KFC has announced an addition to their chicken dinners:
It's called "The Obama Cabinet Bucket"
It consists of nothing but left wings and assholes.
-Thanks, Yolo

CAMEL TOE!!!!!!


Damn, Rick!
Thanks, man.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

My list

So here I was tonight updating my "Fuckers I Wish Would Die" list and I noticed something kinda sorta curious - the goddamned list is getting smaller.
Okay, the FIWWD list of people I don't personally know is getting bigger but the FIWWD list of people that I do know is getting smaller, and that's really the list that counts. I know that FIWWD aren't dying faster than normal, in fact some of them seem to be hanging on forever.
So I've come to the conclusion that either my anti-depressants must be working or I'm not getting out enough. Lord knows there's plenty of assholes out there waiting to piss me the fuck off, so it must be the mood pills. Maybe I should cut back on the dosage so I can build my list back up.

Thanks

Thanks to all that commented on yesterday's post about Punkindog and to those that sent me emails expressing condolences.
It's going to be hard being dog-less. When I was cooking my dinner last night I did my usual drill and cooked a little extra for the dog. I got up in the middle of the night and was feeling around with my feet to make sure I didn't step on him, and all day today I've been wandering over to the window to see what he was up to in the backyard.
The hardest thing though is when I'm sitting in my chair and without thinking, I reach down to scratch an ear and he's not there.
I don't miss them doggie farts, though.

Because I got drunk and forgot to put him in the trash?


Gotta be California (again)


What's with the briefcase?

Another "Aw, fuck" moment in time