Saturday, December 18, 2010

It's a guy thing

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for a homeless man.
He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back-country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and being a typical man I didn't stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.
There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.
I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends.
I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low my heart was full.
As I was opening the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Why can't men just ask for directions?

Thanks, Cousin Buddy.

Damn! I'm impressed!!!

Hunter Kills 104-Pound 'Unusually Large' Coyote
Coyote About 3 Years Old
POSTED: 4:56 pm CST December 13, 2010
UPDATED: 4:32 pm CST December 14, 2010

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. -- DNA testing has confirmed that a large animal shot and killed by a hunter a month ago was an "unusually large" coyote, the Missouri Department of Conservation announced Monday.
The hunter killed the animal on the opening day of Missouri's November firearms deer season on Nov. 13.
Coyotes are legal game during deer season, so the hunter shot and killed it, the department said. But when the hunter got a closer look at the animal, he wondered if he had mistakenly shot and killed a wolf, which is a protected species in Missouri, the department said.
The hunter contacted the MDC, which tested the animal's DNA and determined it was in fact a coyote.
The MDC said the 104-pound coyote was about 3 years old."

A hundred pound coyote? Motherfucker! I wish they grew that big out here.
Rod sent this via Facebook.
Thanks, man.

My new hunting partner

Thanks, Yolo.

Maybe they're still pissed at the shitty gifts from their first visit

Once not so long ago one of the world’s top celebrities in his own right, Barack Obama and his wife Michelle did not make the cut for invitations to the royal wedding in London next spring.
On April 29 in Westminster Abbey with all the grace and pageantry sure to capture international imaginations, commoner Kate Middleton will marry Prince William, son of Princess Diana....But the current residents of the White House will not be there, according to the Daily Mail.
The official excuse provided to the British paper by royal sources is that the royal couple wants to share their special nuptial moment with ordinary citizens. Anyway, it is not an official state event, they said. And, you know, Westminster only seats 2,000.
Nice try.
So then how to explain the invites to French president Nicolas Sarkozy and his wife Carla Bruni?
And how to explain the invitations to England-loving President and Mrs. Reagan for the wedding of Diana and Prince Charles back in 1981? And the subsequent invitations to the American first family for the wedding of Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson five years later?
-From Cbullit

Read more:

I couldn't have said it better myself

And yet, not a single "Fuck You, Obama" in the entire article.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Why, oh why?

A young Arab asks his father, "What is that weird hat you are wearing?"

The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun."

"And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man.

"It's a 'djbellah' because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body." said the father.

The son asked, "And what about those ugly shoes on your feet?

His father replied, "These are 'babouches", which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert."

"Tell me," added the boy.

"Yes, my son?"

"Why are we living in Dearborn , Michigan and you're still wearing all this shit?

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Moving tips for Yolo

Mom, Dad? I'd like for you to meet the father of my baby.

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon......

I forgot where I was going with this

I got 6 Christmas cards from non-relatives and one from my beloved Aunt Polly.
That breaks the record and we've still got a couple of weeks to go and Aunt Polly may just kick me another one if the spirit grabs ahold of her. Which is entirely possible due to the Christmas Season, parties and all you know.
So I guess next year I should invest in a box, huh? Maybe I'll go whole hog and have a Coyote Christmas Card.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Redneck Christmas Decorations

Thanks Ron, this is fucking hilarious.

Tune-free blog here

Is this a great Country or what???????

Thanks, Jamie

Guess what the Evil Cats are getting for Christmas?


This one has been making the rounds lately.
It would've been a shame if a camel toe of this caliber got past me.

Once again, I am at a loss for words

YOLO knows what it takes to get me hot

A cleavage-tongue-handgun picture!
Thanks, Sweetie

Monday, December 13, 2010

Bubba the Aggie

Bubba the Aggie was walking home from the bar late at night and sees a woman step out of the shadows. “Twenty dollars” she whispers.
Bubba had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the heck, it's only twenty bucks, so they hide in the bushes. They're in there for only a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them.
It’s a police officer. “What's going on here, people?” asks the officer.
“I'm makin' love to my wife!” Bubba answers sounding annoyed.
“Oh, I'm sorry” says the cop, “I didn't know.”
Bubba says, "Well, neither did I, til ya shined that there light in her face.”

Thanks, Orbitup


She's a cutie! Shapely, provocative, and lots of teeth.

Stolen from Theospark

And Big Government just got a little bigger

Why he's loading the Supreme Court with liberals

RICHMOND, Va. – A federal judge declared the foundation of President Barack Obama's health care law unconstitutional Monday, ruling that the government cannot require Americans to purchase insurance. The case is expected to end up at the Supreme Court.
U.S. District Judge Henry E. Hudson wrote that no court had expanded the Commerce Clause of the Constitution to allow the government to regulate a person's decision not to buy a product.
"At its core, this dispute is not simply about regulating the business of insurance — or crafting a scheme of universal health insurance coverage — it's about an individual's right to choose to participate," Hudson wrote.

Bulk Ammo

The Great Ammo/Powder/Primer Shortage of 2008/09/10 seems to have run its' course. There's not a lot of shortages anymore but it did serve one very important lesson to me and a shitload of other shooters out there:
Buy when you can, stock up and always be on the lookout for new suppliers.
On that thought, here's a link that I've pushed before and I will push again. They're good folks, they've got great prices and their inventory is always expanding.

Tell 'em Wirecutter sent you - maybe they'll give me free shit.