Saturday, February 12, 2011

A cake for every occasion


Understandable if you were coyote hunting.....

Now ya know, Pedro!

Double Stuffed Okie Butt

No more sleepovers for Janet

She looks so fucking casual when she's got that projectile vomiting thing going on. Gotta admire somebody like that.......

Why men shouldn't bake Valentines' cookies

Thanks, Randy.

They're trying to fuck us again, folks.

 Another vote on the mis-named Patriot Act could come as early as tomorrow.

House Leadership held an emergency meeting of the powerful Rules Committee to pass a special rule concerning the Patriot Act.
The rule would allow the mis-named Patriot Act to be brought up on again as early as tomorrow, without any amendment, limit debate to only one hour and require only a simple majority to pass.

This comes on the same day the Homeland Security Czar Janet Napolitano said that the threat of terrorism is at "its most heightened state" since the 9/11 attacks due to increased concerns over “domestic” terrorists.
I think she's talking about us, folks.

Reauthorization of the mis-named Patriot Act gives government jackboots more and more tools in their war on gun owners and gun rights activists, who Obamacrats smear as “Radical Extremists” and even “Domestic Terrorists.”

Some of the very worst provisions of the Patriot Act include:

•Roving, warrantless wiretaps of virtually EVERY form of electronic communication used by U.S. citizens.

•Secret federal searches without warrants OR knowledge of the resident.

•Blanket warrants for the search and seizure of all library records, without naming individual suspects or providing probable cause.

•Judicial warrants replaced with “National Security Letters” signed by unaccountable Obama Administration bureaucrats and gag orders for those served with these letters which make it illegal to tell anyone about it -- including your spouse and your priest!

•Drastic expansion of the definition of “domestic terrorism,” which is sure to include gun owners.

•Expands asset seizure to permit the taking of assets from anyone “suspected” of terrorism, even if that person is NEVER charged or sent to trial.

•Lone wolf provisions which allow the government to spy on ANYONE even if they’re not associated with a terrorist organization or foreign national, without due process or notification.

Please call the Congressional Switchboard at 202-224-3121 and demand that they oppose this blatant attempt to ram the Patriot Act through Congress.

From Gun Owners of America

My dog loves me more than I do him

And how do I know that?
Well, I've never gone up to him when he was taking a dump and laid my head in his lap. Matter of fact, I never even thought about it.
It is kinda funny to watch him stagger away with his eyes watering when he does it to me, though.

Yup, things are looking up, Obama.

Modesto-based Save Mart Supermarkets announced Friday that it was cutting 103 jobs from its distribution centers in Merced, Roseville and Vacaville, as well as in its labor relations department.
The company's news release didn't include the specific number of layoffs at the Merced center, which employs about 230 people.
Most affected employees will be offered a severance package, including outplacement services, said President and Chief Operating Officer Steve Junqueiro.

And this is in a region that already has 25% unemployment when you take into account those whose benefits have run out and they're no longer on the employment rolls.
So, Wingnut, when are you going to "create" a job for these folks with a wave of your magic wand?

Hey, Achmed! Your 72 virgins await you!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Women everywhere are rejoicing

From the English version of Pravda:

Forget fruit juice - chocolate could be an even better way to boost your health, new research shows.
Dark chocolate and cocoa have more anti-oxidant capacity than fruit juice, according to a study released Sunday in the Chemistry Central Journal.
Chocolate products also have more heart-healthy flavanols and polyphenol, the study found. The good news doesn't apply to hot cocoa mix, which is processed, New York Daily News reports.
Researchers from the Hershey Centre for Health & Nutrition compared single servings of dark chocolate, cocoa, and hot chocolate mix with fruit juices including acai berries, cranberries and pomegranates, according to a Hershey statement.
The research showed that both dark chocolate and cocoa had more antioxidant activity and more flavonols than fruit. Debra Millar, who led the study, said chocolate should be labelled a "superfruit", according to Times of India.

Chicken nuggets? Yum!

Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the processed frozen chicken in the stores is made from it.
Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this.
There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color.
But, hey, at least it tastes good, right?
High five, America!

You can thank Yolo for this gem.
I'm glad I'm too godammed poor to eat that shit.

Yeah, you can tell who he belongs to....

I got up this morning hungier than a motherfucker even after eating a half a pig last night so I made some biscuits and sausage gravy. After eating my fill there was some gravy left over so I threw it in CharlieGodammits' bowl.
He didn't even look at it until I tossed a biscuit in with it, the Okie motherfucker.

If their faces don't kill you first.....


I just can't tired of saying that.

Pray for wind

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....

I bet they'd smell wonderful for days.
Of course there may be a problem with all the neighborhood dogs gathered outside their houses, howling.

No comment


Probably not the greatest Valentines' Day gift


Yeah. What he said.


I've gone tits up. Finally. Praise the Lord.

I'm thinking it's a pitiful state of affairs when all I can think of is titties, how much I hate Obama and where in the fuck is my Dangerous Extremist shirt is so I can beat off without feeling real guilty. And oh yeah, I need a used oil filter, turpentine and vaseline.

No shit, Sir.

A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"
A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.
A Captain said it was 50%-50%.
A lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in chrge of making the coffee and asked for HIS opinion?
His reply?
"It's 100% pleasure, Sir. If there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."
The room fell silent.

Jack In The Box

From the only one who hasn't turned on me (sniff sniff), Yolo

fgbswk mercj. Woo-Hoo! Party on!

I quit drinking a few weeks ago until this weekend. I don't know what I did that brought it on but when I got off work tonight I stopped by the store and bought a couple of pounds of bacon, a party pack of sausage (fuck Mohammed) and an 18 pack of beer.
I'll be puking in the backyard before it's all said and done.
Fuck Obama.

Friends. Right.

I went ahead and posted a real nice introduction and welcome for my ex the other day and what happened?
All of a sudden, y'all turned on me and packed up with her, everybody except Yolo, that is.
But between Deb (who is vicious anyways) and Bella (who I'm afraid of) and !what the fuck! Tattoo Jim of all people (fucking traitor) I'm afraid to post Okie shit, titties and anything about future ex or second or whatever wives.
Yolo, I love you. Why won't you marry me and live where it's warm and weed is semi legal?

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

45 ACP ammo recall. PLEASE read.

Certain lots of recently manufactured 45 Auto ammunition may contain an incorrect propellant charge. Use of product from these lots may result in firearm damage and possible serious injury.
38X628 through 38X765 and 38T401 through 38T414

If you have in your possession any 45 Auto with the following brand names and part numbers, check to see if your ammunition package contains the above lots: American Eagle® (AE45A, AE45N1, or AE45A250), Champion™ (WM5233), GoldMedal® (GM45B), Hi-Shok® (45C, 45D) and Federal® Personal Defense® (C45C, C45D). Example below:
If you possess ammunition from any of these lots, or have questions concerning this warning, please contact us at 1-800-831-0850 or 1-800-322-2342 and ask for Product Service. Federal will provide replacement product and will cover the cost of returning the affected product. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

If you possess ammunition from any of these lots, or have questions concerning this warning, please contact us at 1-800-831-0850 or 1-800-322-2342 and ask for Product Service. Federal will provide replacement product and will cover the cost of returning the affected product. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

Answered prayers, continued hopes.

HOUSTON – Rep. Gabrielle Giffords is able to speak: She asked for toast at breakfast one recent morning.
Her ability to say even just a word, a month after being shot in the head, pleased her family, friends and doctors. It may also provide valuable clues about the condition of her injured brain.
"We're elated at this," said her spokesman C.J. Karamargin, who added that she is speaking "more and more." "We always knew Gabby is a fighter and that she's not going to let this thing win. And you know, every day is proof of that."

I honestly have no words to say about this other than I wish her and her family the very best and I pray for full recovery. She seems to be on that road.

Sadly, true.

Titties. California style.

Eat your hearts out, motherfuckers.

No shit.....

I'd put up with it.
I know, I'm a glutton for punishment.
What can I say......

Gotta get one

Thanks to Orbitup!!!!!!
This is fucking great!

Mercy me

Folks, you may have noticed a new contributor and commenter that goes by the name of Niki. I want to let you know that she's my ex and also that she was invited here by me.
Anybody that's ever been through a divorce knows the pain that comes with it and some, notice I said some, of you know that time heals. Sometimes that healing process takes many years and I feel that this is the path that me and my ex are on.
I ask that you welcome her and I also ask that if you see comments that seem sharp, please understand that they weren't meant that way. All my comments are moderated and she knows me (and my sense of humor) better than any of you can and I know her sense of humor also.
But please..... PLEASE...... do not make a disprespectful remark about Indians, especially Commanches or Apaches - she's almost full blooded Commanche/Apache - unless you want to be subjected to the hell I caught when I fucked up and forgot and accidentally cheered for the cowboys instead of the Indians.

For Bella (and Deb and Yolo and Niki) from Bella

It was 70 degrees here today. I almost took off my jacket.

Yeah. I have no fucking idea at all.....

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

What the fuck????

She needs some ink on her right side or she's gonna fall over. Right, Jim?

Sorry. I lost it for a minute

Okay, here's the fucking deal. I posted a picture of Booby Belt wearing these weird-ass fucking drawers and scheduled it for a certain time to pop up. It came up right away and not only that but it was in front of every fucking post for the rest of the day and I finally just deleted the fucking post because if I have to look at that ass one more time IAMGOINGTOFUCKINGSCREAM!!!!!

Damned near perfect

You boys can thank Claymore for this one.

An islamic wet dream


Crap. I've been found out.

Leave it to my ex to expose me before I can expose myself.

-Thanks, Niki!

Future Jihadists - Achmed and Little Larry

Monday, February 07, 2011

Gurkha Bravery

We've all heard of the legendary bravery of the Gurkha Soldiers, right?
Check THIS shit out. 40 to 1 odds, and he comes out the winner.
The translation comes across as a little strange, but the story is all there.

Bishnu Shrestha, a brave Gurkha soldier in Indian Army, defeated 40 train robbers while returning home after a voluntary retirement. The Indian army, is going to awarded Bishnu with Sourya Chakra, Bravery Award and Sarvottam Jeevan Raksha medals during the Indian Republic Day celebration on January 26.

While in the train, Maurya Express from Ranchi to Gorakhpur, on September 2, 2010, 35 year-old Bishnu saved a girl about to be raped by the train robbers in front of her helpless parents. After looting the train, when the robbers started to strip a 18 year old girl in front of him, he couldn’t contain his calmness. He took out his khukari and took on the a group of 40 robbers, alone. In the fight, he killed three of dacoits and injured eight others. Remaining dacoits fled the scene to save their lives.
The police arrested the eight injured dacoits and recovered Rs. 400,000 in cash, 40 gold necklaces, 200 cell phones, 40 laptops and other items left by the robbers while fleeing the train.

In recognition to his bravery, his regiment has given Bishnu a cash reward of Rs. 50,000 and it has also terminated his voluntary retirement, so that he could get a customary promotion after he receives the medals. In addition to that, he will also receive a cash rewards from the government, special discounts in international air tickets, and discounts in Indian railways train tickets.

Sent in by Deb

Good Paco. Good boy.

Once you've had Bill, you'll never go back

Personally Bill, you've got horrible taste in chicks.

-Thanks, Yolo


Reminds me of an LSD trip I took last month one time.
Not that I've ever done drugs on purpose before........

Drunk chicks - Gotta love 'em


Why I don't own a microwave

Saddle Hills (Alberta, Canada) Grizzly

Fuck, Bella! That's a big-ass bear. Thanks for sending the pictures.

Great orator, my Okie ass.

I think of this picture of Wingnut and his teleprompters in a 6th grade classroom everytime I hear somebody say what a great orator he is.

He's so fucking stupid he can't even dress himself properly.



Posting updates

So here's the deal:
I've decided to pre-load a few posts here to see how it works out.
I've already got it done so that several times tomorrow (Monday) a new post will pop up. That way, when you visit here to link to another site on my sidebar, maybe you'll get an unexpected grin.
No, I don't remember what time the updates will come, and yes, I hope to get feedback from you so I'll know if it's a waste of time.
Why did I do it? I don't know. But I hope it pays off for y'all.
Fuck Obama.

Sunday, February 06, 2011

Eat your hearts out

Well, it got all the way up to 68 degrees here in Central California. So fucking warm and sunny that I was wandering around in the backyard in my bibs without a shirt OR shoes. Had to wear my glasses though to dodge CharlieGodammits' land mines.
If this shit keeps up it won't be too much longer before I'm having to put off doing yardwork again.

Commenters, keep your profanity and death threats down to a low roar, please.

First day of school in Pakistan. Or France. Or Britain.