Saturday, January 03, 2009

I was here first

If a woman is uncomfortable watching you masturbate …Do you think:
(a) You need more time together,
(b) She’s a prude, or
(c) She should sit somewhere else on the bus?

Chris's guns

top row: Belgin Hi-power, Star Mod.30, CZ2075 in .40S&W,
bottom row: Taurus Total Titanium in .45 long colt, Llama micromax .380, Kel-tec P3AT
* Sad but the Llama was stolen (little bastards) but has since been replaced with an Auto ordance 1911 stainless!!
Chris sent a total of 5 pictures - I'm going spread them out over a couple of days.

You're too stupid to live

For Ibeam the Mullet Hunter

Who the fuck would do this to a kid?

Oooh, someplace to take the ex

He's in for a surprise when (not if) Rover farts

My future second ex-wife

Drugs are bad

Former "Baywatch" star Yasmine Bleeth was arrested in September 2001 by Michigan police and charged with cocaine possession. The actress pleaded guilty to one criminal count and was sentenced in January 2002 to two years probation and 100 hours of community service.

A hangover tip

One of my main goals in life as a youngster was to find the perfect hangover cure - besides the obvious one of not drinking.
I have tried everything from raw eggs before drinking to a glass of pickle juice after waking up. I couldn't find anything that worked except:
Take ONE aspirin (I use Aleve) before starting to drink and one aspirin shortly before you go to bed. It's very important to take the one before you go to bed.
It works for me. I'll wake up without a hangover, maybe a very mild headache at the most.

Ibeams Gun

Attached is a photo of my gun, per your recent KNUCKLEDRAGGIN request. It's a 9000-X Super Deluxe Bubble Blower Desperado. After quite a few shots of Mad Dog 20/20 and a six pack of cheap beer, I usually bring out this beauty and take pot shots at what ever I can focus on. Nothing makes me happier then the smell of fresh gunpowder (well in this case, soap and glycerin) as I pull off fantastic shots with my Desperado. She's got literally no recoil and is comparably lighter then other guns of her catagory. Hope you enjoy the photo, and please, don't be jealous of the wonderful firearm that your East Coast buddy is the proud owner of! Keep up the daily blogging - it's a high point in my daily internet life!
--Quick Draw ibeam


If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when, no fault of yours, things go wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can ignore a friend’s limited education and never correct him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor, If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can say honestly that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, or politics,
Then, my Brother, you are as good as your dog.
– Author unknown

Friday, January 02, 2009

Readers' guns

1. Browning Hi-Power 9mm, 13 shot clip, manufactured 1961, original issue as a Brazilian Police sidearm
2. .22 derringer, German manufacture, It says Rohm Sontneum/Brenz across the top, I assume that is the maker, but I don't know. My dad had this gun in the early '60's, I'm not sure where he got it and I ended up with it. So, I am not sure how old it is, or much else about it.
Does anybody know anything about this derringer so I can pass the information back to the owner?

Gotta be California (again)

I know I posted one California picture already today, but I just ran across this one and couldn't pass it up.

This'll teach you to run me over, asshole

I'd just shove the fucker down the stairs

I'm popping a chubby just looking at this!!

Gotta be California (again)

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....


Thursday, January 01, 2009

My 41 Magnum Blackhawk

L's Blackhawk

When Hubbs and I first started dating, we had a dinner date at some restaurant or another. I wore a skirt and heels, Hubbs wore slacks and a tie. We decided that before dinner, we would hit our local indoor shooting range.
He had never seen me shoot before, though I had told him stories of what a good shot I was. We showed up at the range, picked up a few targets, and proceeded to the shooting area (Forgive my terminology-just because I can use a gun doesn't mean I know what half this shit is called).
I chose the paper target that was an outline of a man, with all the vital organs detailed-pancreas, heart, stomach, etc...
I said "Watch-I'll shoot him right in the pancreas"-score!
"Watch this-right in the throat"-score!
I hit at least 80% of the body parts I was aiming at that night. In a skirt. And heels. Here's a picture of my baby-a .45 caliber Ruger Blackhawk.
I'm impressed. Not only does she own one of the guns that I would love to have, they go shooting before going on a dinner date.

Reader's Guns

Yahoo! Yippee!!!

I started thinking Wednesday at work that although there seems to be a mysterious absence of BATs, the trout bite this year is red hot, better than I'd seen it in a long time. I've caught more weight in the past month than I had in the past 2 years and returned all but maybe 20 pounds to be re-caught.
If I wanted to get serious about getting into some BATs, I needed to take some time off work and devote some serious effort into it so I went upstairs to the Big Boss and said "Check this shit out, man. I know it's short notice, but I really need to take next week off."
Oscar got a serious look on his face and said "Sure, you've got the time coming. Is there some sort of emergency, something wrong with the family?"
I decided not to lie to him, so I came out with the truth. "Yeah, some serious problems. I had promised Dad to put him into some big trout and I keep coming up short. I need to keep him on the lakes all next week. This bite ain't gonna last forever."
"Wait a minute - not catching fish doesn't constitute an emergency......."
"I didn't say I wasn't catching fish, I said I wasn't catching BIG fish. And that's an emergency to me."
"Get the fuck out of my office."
"Can I have next week off?"
"Yes. I know that look. If I didn't give it to you, you'd just call in sick. Now get the fuck out of my office. Now."

My kinda place

That'll work

If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you follow these instructions:.
1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Start up.
4. Make sure the person that is annoying you, can see the screen.
5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky.
6. Then hit this link.

Gun pictures had a thing a while back where he was asking readers to send in pictures of them in their thongs. It was a good idea (I thought so anyways) but I want to go one better.
If you've got a picture of a gun that you're proud of, send me a picture so I can post it. If you want to tell me a little about it, I'll include that in the post too. I won't disclose your name, location or email, and please make sure the serial numbers don't show. If it does, I'll obscure for you - I don't want to set anybody up for a theft, either by criminals or our Government.
Yes Deb, BB guns too.

Ford trucks are Ford tough

Shhh, watch this

Oooh, a bowl of birthday carrots!

You were warned

My New Year's Eve

Had 4 or 5 beers, watched a few hours of TV and was in bed by 11 o'clock.
Sorry, I hate to have dissappointed y'all.

Gotta be California (again)

Ahhh, so that's how they do it

Straight up White Trash, God bless her

Sorry, I work for mine

More flying fuck-ups

Wednesday, December 31, 2008


Okay, it's New Years Eve, I've been home for 2 1/2 hours, I'm not even close to being as fucked up as I'd planned, I'm watching TV and thinking about going to bed in an hour or so. What the hell is wrong with me?
Oh yeah. I'm old.

Poor baby

It's true. I am a knuckledragger

We had a boss a few years back we called Happy Jack because he wasn't. This guy had a biker's attitude with an accountant's body and had a fairly good sense of humor.
One day I caught my buddy Rick near Happy Jack's office and said "C'mon, let's go fuck with Jack."
We headed up the stairs and when I opened the door, Jack was at his desk doing paperwork.
"Hey Jack, you ever fuck a goat before?"
He didn't even look up. "Maybe one time when I was drunk."

I turned to Rick when we left and said "Isn't it cool that we can go up to the big boss and ask if he'd ever fucked a goat?"
Rick said "Have you ever worked anywhere that you COULDN'T ask your boss that?"

Why you should remove your boresighter before you shoot your new rifle

Hey, it's New Years Eve

Don't know how my postings are going to be tonight - I plan on getting seriously fucked up.
I'm talking tore up from the floor up. Roasted and toasted. Tits up. Blind.
Ya'll have fun....

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....

Fuck the L and T, just gimme a bacon sandwich

Gotta be California (again)

Oh yeah. She's pissed.

Let's see your Tom-Tom figure this one out

It's a guy thing....

Better than I (heart) San Quentin

Things I'm gonna do this year

1) Take a road trip down to El Paso by way of Ft Sumner and Lincoln County, New Mexico then loop back up to Amarillo, TX.
2) Check into getting a pilot's license.
3) Beat my personal best record for BAT.
4) Start hunting again
5) Kill the Evil Cats
6) Get my GED
7) Do some serious backpacking
8) Get back into ghost-towning

Monday, December 29, 2008

Oh, HELL NO!!!!!!

I got into fly fishing this past year, that is until I got the 2009 Cabella's fly fishing catalogue today.
I opened it up to their "Flyrod" category and saw a rod priced at $750.
Sheeeet, I only paid $750 and a quarter pound of weed for my first car!

Straight up White Trash, God bless 'em

If you don't buy my lemonade, I'm gonna let you run me over and then my Daddy's gonna sue the dogshit out of you

Click to enlarge

Gotta be California (again)

I'm pretty sure this is a single man's bathroom

What a way to start the day

I used to have a dog that loved to have ass scratched, and he wasn't a bit bashful about it, either. He would back up up to you looking over his shoulder with this look of pure lust on his face. It looked perverted as hell, I got to admit.
One night I had gone out drinking tequila and Jack and beer and God only knows what else, and even before I woke up I knew I was horribly hung over, oh Lord I hurt, I was sick sick sick, somebody please kill me in my sleep and spare me the misery of waking up.
I had passed out on the couch, half undressed. In my semi-conscience state, I began to stir, waking up Captain, who usually woke up in a pretty agreeable mood and liked to start his day with a petting or ear-scratching. This time instead of coming over to get his ears scratched, he starts backing up to me to get his ass scratched. I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was this big ol' brown-eye staring me right in the face from about 6 inches away. Then he farted, and with that single gaseous emission he put me down for an entire day. That is what saved his worthless ass, so he can be thankful for that. I was just too sick to run him down and beat him to death and too hung over to shoot him.


About 20 years ago, I was on my way home from the hills one day by myself. I would travel down Warnerville, Rock River or Cooperstown Roads as much as possible to avoid Oakdale and highway traffic. You might see one car all day long on these dirt roads. They were wonderful.
Anyways, I was hooking it up down Rock River and way off in the distance I could see a ground squirrel up on a fencepost on the right hand side of the road watching the world go by. I pull up across the road and stop, waiting for it to freak out and haul ass, but it doesn't. It just sits there, staring at me. Well, we can't be havin' none of that shit, can we? So I picked up my 41 magnum off the front seat and shooting through the open passenger window, I blew that little sucker clean off the fence post, destroying him in the process. I mean I shot a ground squirrel with a 220 grain bullet. The bullet probably weighed more than the target did.
I got to admit shooting that magnum handgun in the inside of my truck probably wasn’t one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. I had a headache for a solid week and my ears still haven’t fully recovered.


Dave was kicking back in his trailer one night watching T.V. and he reaches over and picks up this unloaded Single Action 357 that was laying on the table next to his bed. As he thumbs back the hammer of the pistol, he points it between his feet at his T.V. set.
Thinking better of it, he points the gun up and snaps the trigger blowing a jagged hole in the ceiling of his trailer. Guess that pistol was loaded after all.

For Ramon

The house I lived in out on Claus road was on the highest piece of ground on the property, so when they irrigated every 18 days, the house would be overrun with mice. While it was semi-creepy, it made for some great shooting.
I had my couch on one wall and my T.V., stereo, and dogfood dish against the cabinet and built-in bookshelf that made up the other wall. At night, I would lay on the couch with my pellet pistol propped up on my leg. Pretty soon, I'd see a brown flash zip into Caps' food dish. Then it was just a waiting game, because they'd eat their fill, stuff their cheeks full, and stick their heads up over the edge of the bowl to make sure the coast was clear. That's when I'd blast the cute little buggers.
But wait! There was a couple of catches. Number one, I only had about a half a second to shoot, and number two, it had to be a head shot. If I hit the little sucker anywhere but the head, they'd go into the walls to die, I don't care how hard they were hit. On a good night I could get 20-30 mice. I had a piece of plywood tacked to the cabinet behind the food dish as a backstop, but 2 or 3 times a night, I would get a running shot at a mouse along another wall. Sometimes I connected, sometimes I missed. I also wasn't above snapping off 6 shots with a 22 pistol at a mouse hooking it up across the middle of the floor. Needless to say, that house was so full of bullet holes after 6 years, if you backed into it with a car it would have fallen over.
After I got raided and had to move, it took me and Dave 24 solid hours to patch all the bullet holes, replace all the baseboards in the living room (they were shot to pieces) and paint. What really pissed me off was that they bulldozed the place after I moved into Dave's place. All that work for nothing.
I never really had a mouse problem in my little brown shack for the first couple of years that I lived there. Then I got a hair up my ass and killed the nest of rattlesnakes that lived underneath the house. What in the world was I thinking?

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Boys will be boys

Headlines for the year 2034

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .
Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches with only 3 illegitimate children.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Straight up White Trash, God bless 'em

Sorry, I spend all my spare change on bills and food