Saturday, March 12, 2011

Why I could care less about thread count

Ahhhhh, clean sheet day!
Man, I love some clean sheets, especially the feel and fresh scent when you first slide in and before that first fart.
So today I stripped the bed and threw the dirty sheets into the washer and let the mattress air out a bit while I did other shit. A little later I threw the now-clean-but-wet bedding into the dryer and went to the closet for fresh sheets.
Hmmmm, where in the fuck are they? I know I have at least a couple other sets, should be right fucking there on the Clean Sheet and Dogfood Shelf and I kno...... Oh, that's right. Winter camouflage. Laying behind the front seat of my truck with god knows what else - busted salmon egg jars, year-old bank receipts, coyote piss in a can, moldy sunflower seeds, maybe even a set of storebought winter camouflage.
Don't you just hate it when that shit happens?

I should probably apologize, huh?

Man, I lost several followers over my posts on the Japan tragedy and you wouldn't believe the shittier-than-usual emails I've gotten.
Allow me to explain:
I generally wake up in a pretty good humor, especially when I had a decent nights' sleep. And the one thing I absolutely hate is chain mail and request for prayer emails for motherfuckers I don't know or care about.
Combine the two and you get a post like you got yesterday morning.
And now my apology:
Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

Wait long enough and somebody else will do it

White House hails Arab League no-fly zone request

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The White House says the Arab League has taken an "important step" by asking the U.N. Security Council to impose a no-fly zone over Libya and increasing international pressure on Moammar Gadhafi.
A statement from the White House says there's a clear international message that the violence in Libya must stop.
President Barack Obama has repeatedly called for Gadhafi to step down. But the U.S. has not been willing to impose a no-fly zone unilaterally. The White House says the U.S. will prepare for all contingencies and coordinate with allies.
The U.S. and its European allies wanted support from Arab countries to broaden the pressure on Libya. The Arab League wants the no-fly zone to protect civilians from air attack by Gadhafi's forces.


Of course The Obamessiah hails their decision - after all, it wasn't his decision so that keep him of the hot seat. So basically, we've gone from a president that made a shitload of wrong decisions to a fucking president that's afraid to make a decision.
He's so fucking concerned about his image that he stuck his head in the sand and waited for somebody else to do it.
That's our boy.........

Priorities, ya know?

MODESTO — Another Apple product launch, another long line at the Vintage Faire Mall.
More than 100 customers lined up Friday afternoon, waiting to get into the Apple store for a new iPad 2.
The second-generation tablet device was going on sale across the country at 5 p.m. local time.

Modesto Bee - DARRYL BUSH/ - A large crowd waits in line to buy the "ipad 2" a few hours before it goes on sale today at 5:00 PM, at The Apple Store at Vintage Faire Mall, in Modesto, Calif., on Friday, March 11, 2011.

The Cupertino company opened online sales of the iPad 2 at 4 a.m. Eastern time, well before they became available in stores.
Apple fans everywhere, including those in New York, were eager to get their hands on the device as they waited at the company’s Apple’s Fifth Avenue store.
The line of customers, including some who traveled from Japan and Russia, snaked through the street-level plaza above the subterranean store while bystanders gawked at the crowd.

I have no idea what these iPads go for (nor do I care) but I do know what my time is worth and I'll be damned if I would wait in line for hours and hours to buy something that I really don't need and will be widely available in a few days anyways.
Stupid fuckers.

Friday, March 11, 2011

A dog and his boy

Hundreds of mourners lined the main street through the Wiltshire town to honour Lance Corporal Liam Tasker, of the Royal Army Veterinary Corps, who was shot while on patrol in Helmand province, Afghanistan on March 1.
The crowds were swelled by family pets and a dozen police and Prison Service dogs at the repatriation ceremony for the 26-year-old soldier, whose dog Theo died from a seizure three hours after his master was killed.
L/Cpl Tasker’s family said they believe the dog died from a broken heart.

The body of L/Cpl Tasker, from Kirkcaldy, Fife, and the ashes of Theo had earlier been flown back to RAF Lyneham in the same aircraft.
L/Cpl Tasker was the subject of the repatriation ceremony but Theo’s ashes will be presented in private to his family.

Why Don't You Do Right

Excellent video - About the only to describe Peggy Lee is fucking sultry, almost slutty (but in a good slutty sort of way), both her voice and facial expressions.
Excuse me. I need to hit the cold shower.

Saw this at Atlas Shrugged and had to steal it.

Hey, I was just wondering.....

A redneck buddy of mine from work, originally from South Dakota, was scraping the bottom of his Copenhagen can Wednesday as we were talking. Roger was forever trying to quit chewing and was still half pissed because I managed to do it without too much problem.
"Welp. This is it, I'm givin' it up for Lent."
"Yeah, right. Besides, you gotta be Catholic to give something up for Lent" I said.
"I am Catholic" he says.
Okay, you know those things that pop into your head and out of your mouth before you even know it?
He blew out his last chew, wasting it. "Wha.....? No, godammit, I was 31 years old, converted over to get my wife to marry......."
He just shook his head and walked off to bum a chew from Raudel, muttering something about why even bothering something something something.


Man, I've been slow cooking a pot of my favorite mess all morning.
Kinda sorta starts out as gumbo but takes a hard right turn after I punch it up a bit.
I got a bean pot that's got in it a pound of shrimp, a bunch of cut up beef, sausage and chicken, with lots of hominy, collards, okra, a couple of mashed up tomatoes, bell pepper, some garlic, red onion and a shitload of fresh jalapenos caramelized together. You might want to ventilate the house when you heat up the jalapenos. Add whatever leftovers you have in the icebox that ain't turning green yet.
Anyways, throw in a big and 2 small cans of Mexican hot tomatoes sauce, good sized can of regular tomato sauce and just enough water to make all that shit float, add a palmful of crushed red pepper, a couple of bay leaves and black pepper, then cover and simmer over a low heat for as long as you can stand it. I let mine go all day and sample and stir every half hour or so. That way I can also add more ingredients if I need to like the time I sampled all the fucking shrimp out of it as the day passed.
Serve over brown rice, mashed potatoes, or ladle it onto flour tortillas. Freeze what's left.
This will definitely keep you shittin' real good.

The Japan quake & big-ass wave

Man, I heard about this shit as soon as I turned on my phone this morning. I mean first thing, an hour before the sun was even up.
So I get online and read the news about it. Hmmm, a shitload of people killed, even more missing. Bummer. Earthquake and water will fuck up your weekend every time.
Then I go over to my blogs and read them, then back to the shake-n-wave.
I get bored with that and go over to facebook to see which one of my cousins pissed another off or who's in jail. Believe me, FB is THE way to keep up on family shit without actually having to see any them face to face. Anyways, all they wanna post about was more Japan shit. Dawn is just now breaking and I'm already getting just a little sick and fucking tired hearing about somebody else's problems and how I should pray for them.
Then I got my first touchy feely email from a friend (motherfucker just got his 'man card' pulled) asking that I keep the victims in my thoughts.  Then another one five minutes later.
Fuck that shit. Here's a thought:
Remember Pearl Harbor!

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Why, oh why, Wirecutter?

Why have you, for the first time in recent history replaced your profile picture with a hog instead of one of your patriotic/political/sexually desirable self pics?
I don't know. I know all you hotties (Bella, Niki, Deb, and Yolo) out there in blogland want to see me in the flesh, but I need to project myself in a true and unadulterated image.You want to see revealing pics, email me.
First off, I want the first thing any muslim motherfucker that is visiting my blog to understand where I'm coming from.
#2, a boar is a bad-ass animal.
#3, I was too fucked up to google grizzly.

Jeff Gordon sucks it up

AP Wire- Raleigh , NC
Jeff Gordon announced today that he was firing his entire pit crew. This announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of President Obama's scheme to employ Harlem youngsters. The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with thousands of dollars worth of high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits.
However, Gordon got more than he bargained for.
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower.


Who needs Obamacare?


Stitching up your dog

For Robert S.

I am not a veterinarian. Repeat: I am not a veterinarian. I take absolutely no responsibility for your actions or fuck-ups.
This may help those that cannot afford or do not have access to a vet when they need it the most but is best for bear bit or hog slashed dogs where wounds can't be treated by a vet in the next few hours or so.
If your dog is suffering from an abdominal or an open chest wound, take it to the nearest vet ASAP. Infection is a bigger enemy than blood loss. Stitches ain't gonna help, in fact they will prolong the suffering and your dog deserves better than that.

To stitch up CGD, I used a curved canvas needle and some thick-ass gray (undyed) thread. It was only gonna be in there a week so cotton was fine, but you want the thickest shit you can find.
Take a pair of blunt forceps and a pair of needle nose pliers and sterilize everything in peroxide, including the thread.
If the dog is hyper, muzzle it well. If it's calm, it's likely in shock so be prepared to treat for that before you begin.
To treat a dog for shock, lay it on it's left side, cover it and lay down next to it, give it lots of calming words and love. It's freaked out right now and stroking and kisses is what it needs. Have somebody else do the stitching. Your hound needs you and your voice in its' ear right now. If it doesn't start to respond to your voice in 5 minutes, get the fucker to a vet NOW.
Shave the area around the wound with a pair of shears. It don't need to be clean, just exposed. Take a baggie or a towel full of ice and press it against the wound. This will slow the bleeding as well as numbing it. Thread your needle with 6 inches of thread. No need to tie it, that'll be done when it passes through the flesh. Clamp the wound loosely about 1/2" from the beginning of the cut with the forceps, but be careful. This is where the dog will get panicky. You want to clamp this so loosely that if you wiggle the clamps they will slip off. Insert the needle and draw the thread slowly from one side to the other, then tie it off with a square knot.
Repeat as necessary every half inch.
When done, bathe the wound and stitches in peroxide. Bandage the wound. Check for worsening shock. If the dog seems to be going deeper in shock, rush to a vet immediately - you've treated the wound but shock is a killer in its ownself.
Stitches can be removed in a week or ten days by cutting them and pulling them out with a pair of needlenose pliers. Don't go too much longer of the flesh will start to grow into or around the thread, making it painful to the dog.

Sorry about this......

Folks, I hope you don't mind that I take an evening off here.
I had a rough day at work and then CharlieGodammit bit the fuck out of me when I was pulling his coyote fighting stitches. I didn't hurt him, it was just something strange going on around his owie. My mistake, I should've had my psycho neighbor Bruce do it while I held him down.
He healed up fine and he didn't draw much blood when his muzzle strap slipped and he bit my leg, but he's feeling all bad about it now and I can't keep the big fucker out of my lap.
Seriously, you ever have a dog lick your hand until it's raw?

A meat smokin' tip

How many of you fuckers that smoke/barbecue (not talking grilling here) your meat with charcoal build a nice bed of coals, throw your prepared meat on and then spend the entire day checking temperatures and adding more charcoal while slowly getting so drunk you can't even enjoy that fall-off-the-bone meat when it's done?
Me too. At least until a couple of weeks ago when I was shown the Better Way.
This don't apply to those that use wood, just us that use charcoal. And while natural charcoal is cleaner tasting (supposedly), it is a bit harder to control using this method.
This is so fucking simple it's unreal.
Instead of building a nice bed of coals before putting your meat on, take the amount of charcoal that you would normally use  and make a fucking doughnut shape with them. Start the amount of coals that would fill the hole in either another grill or a charcoal chimney and let them ash over.
Dump them in the doughnut hole. Open all your vents for a minute to allow them to spread to the unlit charcoal. Once you have that going on, close your shit off a little at a time until you reach optimum temperature (I like 225-250 degrees), then add your meat.
That's it. You are fucking done. The lit coals will slowly spread to the unlit charcoal and will keep your temps steady all fucking day or night, allowing you to go shoot, fish, get laid, fire up a fattie or get drunk.
You're welcome.

Monday, March 07, 2011

Obama restarts Guantanamo trials

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama reversed course Monday and ordered a resumption of military trials for terror suspects at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, making his once ironclad promise to close the isolated prison look even more distant.

Guantanamo has been a major political and national security headache for the president since he took office promising to close the prison within a year, a deadline that came and went without him ever setting a new one.
Obama made the change with clear reluctance, bowing to the reality that Congress' vehement opposition to trying detainees on U.S. soil leaves them nowhere else to go. The president emphasized his preference for trials in federal civilian courts, and his administration blamed congressional meddling for closing off that avenue.
"I strongly believe that the American system of justice is a key part of our arsenal in the war against al-Qaida and its affiliates, and we will continue to draw on all aspects of our justice system — including (federal) courts — to ensure that our security and our values are strengthened," Obama said in a statement.


A couple of things here:
#1 - Have you finally come to grips with the fact that there were a few things you may not have been privy to at your lowly position to as a freshman Congressman, you stupid fuck? Have you begun to realize that there may have been a thing or two that you didn't know about before making such stupid promises?

#2 - The American system of justice DOES NOT APPLY to al-Qaida and its affiliates!!!!! Godamn it, that applies to Americans, NOT THOSE WHO DECLARE WAR/JIHAD AGAINST US!!!
Get over your muslim faith and realize that we are at war with islam.

Fucking Okies, I swear.

Fight at Tuolumne County trailer park leaves Jamestown man wounded

A weekend fight at a trailer park east of Sonora left a Jamestown man wounded, the Tuolumne County Sheriff's Department reported Monday.
The sheriff's office said the fight broke out Saturday afternoon at the Sierra Twain Harte Mobile Home Park between resident Justin Mata, 26, and two Jamestown men: Dustin Miller, 31, and Eric Campbell, 25.
During the disturbance, a shotgun was fired and Miller and Campbell left the area. The sheriff's report did not say who fired the gun.
Miller arrived at Sonora Regional Medical Center a short time later for treatment of a gunshot wound in his leg.
The sheriff's report said the extent of of Miller's injury was unknown. No charges were filed but the incident remains under investigation.


Okay, as soon as I read the headline here I knew I would not be seeing any hispanic names in the story even though this took place in California.
Two things gave it up - The town and the fact that it took place in a trailer court.
The Sonora/Jamestown area is famous for 2 things - the Gold Rush and Ellie Nesler who blew Daniel Driver down while he was on trial for buttfucking her baby boy Willie.
Now, having shared a few drinks with Ellie (long before that righteous killing) at the Rawhide Saloon, I knew her to be Pure White Trash for sure. And that's not real unusual for that area. We;re talking rule instead of exception if you know what I mean.
And the fact that it took place in a trailer court? C'mon, no matter how hard the mexicans try, that's still a holdout for the white boys.
We'll give you the border. We'll give you the Airport district. We'll even give you Keyes. But the trailer court? Nah, that shit ain't happening.

In memory of Red

Niki knows........

Here comes that fashion nut, Gadaffi

Ahmed the molester

Lost dog


Sunday, March 06, 2011

And I wish you all a restful evening.

White House says one thing, Investigations say another

STERLING, Va. (AP) -- Muslim Americans are not part of the terrorism problem facing the U.S. - they are part of the solution, a top White House official said Sunday at a Washington-area mosque.

Deputy National Security Adviser Denis McDonough set the Obama administration's tone for discussions as tensions escalate before the first in a series of congressional hearings on Islamic radicalization. The hearings, chaired by New York Republican Peter King, will focus on the level of cooperation from the Muslim community to help law enforcement combat radicalization.

The majority of the recent terror plots and attempts against the U.S. have involved people espousing a radical and violent view of Islam. Just a few weeks ago a college student from Saudi Arabia who studied chemical engineering in Texas was arrested after he bought explosive chemicals online. It was part of a plan to hide bomb materials inside dolls and baby carriages and blow up dams, nuclear plants or the Dallas home of former President George W. Bush.


It didn't surprise me a bit to read this bullshit.
I can't understand why Obama (or Bush or any other fucking politician for that matter) is so fucking afraid to offend some sonofabitch that's stuck back in the 15th century, both intellectually and emotionally.

At least they're comfy

One in every planter........

Mom sheltering child dies as tornado hits La. town

RAYNE, La. (AP) - When the tornado hit this Louisiana town, Jalisa Granger was instinctively sheltering her child from the sudden, fierce winds. Pieces of homes shot skyward, debris lodged in treetops and a U.S. Postal Service truck was flipped on its side.

When it was over, the 21-year-old mother lay dead from a tree that had fallen on top of her home, authorities say. But her child survived the tornado's rampage through Rayne, a south Louisiana community of 8,500 people some 70 miles west of Baton Rouge.
Maxine Trahan, a spokeswoman for the Acadia Parish Sheriff's Office, said Granger was protecting her child when the tornado hit.
"She sheltered the child to protect her from the storm and a tree fell on the house and it killed the mother but the child was OK," Trahan said. A relative who lived nearby found the woman.

Remember the Alamo!

On March 6th 1836, the Alamo was overrun with 186 brave defenders dying.
God Bless Texas

I will call first if I ever come over......

Hey Ken,
I'm drunk and I just decided that you need some dog pics for a change. Here's my welcoming comittee.
- rpm2day


Kid Rock’s use of Confederate flag sparks NAACP boycott
Mark Hicks, Detroit News staff writer

Some NAACP supporters plan to boycott the Detroit arm's annual fundraiser over an honor for Kid Rock they say doesn't mesh with the civil rights group's goals.
The rocker is set to receive the Detroit branch's Great Expectations Award at the annual dinner, which typically attracts about 10,000 people, on May 1 at Cobo Center.
But Adolph Mongo, a longtime political consultant and head of Detroiters for Progress, said he and others will sit out over Kid Rock's use of the controversial Confederate flag during performances.
"It's a slap in the face for anyone who fought for civil rights in this country," Mongo said Thursday. "It's a symbol of hatred and bigotry."

NAACP officials defended the honor.
"Kid Rock ... has consistently lifted up the Great Expectations of many persons … concerning the future of the city," Donnell R. White, interim executive director of the Detroit Branch NAACP, said in a statement.

Kid Rock and his representatives couldn't be reached. But in a 2008 interview with the Guardian in Britain, he said the flag to him represents southern rock 'n' roll.

Thanks to Niki for sending this outrage along.

See? Not all Californians are hopeless!

I am surprised that this was in Southern California although you can tell Yorba Linda is a blue collar city.
Not exactly Hollywood or Malibu, you know?

Keeping them busy

You wanna know an easy way to keep a dog busy and out from underfoot for a couple of hours?
Take a cup full of Ranch salad dressing, give him a nice sniff and a small taste, then fling it in a sweeping motion across the back yard. That dog will not quit until it's all cleaned up. Hey, 3 cups keeps CharlieGodammit busy all day. I go through a lot of Ranch sometimes......
So I'm thinking that using warmed honey (to make it easier to scatter) would work equally well for toddlers too. Of course you couldn't do both dogs and munchkins at the same time or fights might erupt - and we all know how expensive vet bills can be - but maybe in different yards?
Of course, scrubbing the dirt and ants and twigs of Juniors' face might be somewhat of a bitch.
Never mind.

Karzai Rejects U.S. Apology for Attack

Afghan President Hamid Karzai tells Gen. David Petraeus that a U.S. apology for the accidental killing of nine Afghan boys in a NATO air attack is insufficient, saying civilian casualties are no longer acceptable.


Well, fuck you! Our soldiers deaths aren't acceptable either, and one American life is priceless compared to your childrens' death.
You play both ends against the middle, accepting our soldiers' sacrifices and our governments' aid while accepting "bags of money" (your words) from al-qaida.
So I got an idea. How about we destroy every fucking improvement we've ever done in your country, cut off all financial aid, pull every one of our ground troops out of Afghanistan, then start to bomb the dogshit out of every fucking suspected terrorist hideout in both your shithole country and Pakistan just for grins.
Just what in the fuck would you do about that? Show your true colors and declare jihad? Big fucking deal.