I was on a roll tonight

Today was Idiot Day at the Savemart. I know this because I was there while they were having the run-offs.

Idiot #1 was trying to tell a butcher that he wanted beef bacon. Beef bacon....... I wasn't going near that one. I didn't need an assault charge. Besides, he was in one of them electric scooters.

Idiot #2 was in the deli line and talking on his phone when I rounded the corner. The first thing I noticed was his apparel - Spiderman Tshirt, hat on backwards, cargo shorts to show off the tattoo (Oooh, he must be tough, he has a tattoo) on his leg and little bootie socks that babes wear. When I got close I could hear his conversation - "You better tell your brother to back off, Susan, before I go talk with him."
I started laughing.
He glares at me and yells "YOU! DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM?"
Me? ME??? Who in the fuck are you to be talking to me like that?
So I turned around and said "Yeah. You're a pussy. What are you gonna do about that? Call my fucking sister and whine? Be a man and go kick her brothers' ass."
Everybody within earshot cracked up and Tough Guy went somewhere else for his tofu sandwich.

And finally, Idiot #3. I'm in line and there's 2 women (I think) and a guy (again, I think) ahead of me. Between the 3 of them there are 8 different shades of hair color, approximately 27 piercings and maybe one job.
So I'm in line behind them listening to Mr. Cool talk shit to his 2 women (I think) and thanking God I don't have to wake up next to something like that.
They pay for their shit and stop by the door for lotto tickets, so by the time I get my business done I'm dead off on their heels. As I'm walking behind them towards my truck, the guy (I think) sees my Lanes' Predator Control sign on my tailgate, reads it aloud and suggests to his lady (I think) friends, "Hey, lets call this guy and fuck with him! We can do this all night long."
I tapped him on the shoulder and said "I got a better idea. I'm right here, motherfucker. Why don't you fuck with me face to face?"
The expression on his face was priceless......

You're not so tough, big boy.

Meanwhile, at the San Francisco zoo.....

Straight Up White Trash, God bless 'em

Fuck, women sporting their ink, preggers with her drawers undone, white shades, and probably at a NASCAR race.
The only thing missing is a mullet and I'm betting the photographer has one.

Gotta be.... naw, this is too weird even for California

For "It's just my opinion, I could be wrong"

I came in from work tonight and went to my comments and found this little gem in there from "It's just my opinion, I could be wrong".

Are you the Knuckledraggin ass-hoe that wrote the following on another blog anot the earthquake in Japan? This is Just a warning for you Godless America hating Leftards....more is coming....you will be crying out to God to saVE your sorry asses!! And they had no business shoving that Obamacare health bill down our throats! Actually, they should tell everyone in the city of Berkeley that they have free dope down at the pier. It sounds as if you are, and if it was you, then I think you are even a bigger Knuckledraggin Ass-Hole than I originally thought.

Then a few minutes later, he sent this one off.

Yeah you pissed me off with your stupid comment about saying this on another blog. You Knuckledraggin ass-hole!! "This is Just a warning for you Godless America hating Leftards....more is coming....you will be crying out to God to save your sorry asses!!"

Well, I hate to disappoint you, but it wasn't me. That sounds like something you'd hear from Westboro Baptist Church and that ain't my style. And I honestly don't think I've ever used the word "Leftards" in my entire life.
One other thing, dumbass. Anytime I post a comment on another blog I do it under my google account so the name Wirecutter pops up.
And I could really give a flying fuck if I pissed you off. Seriously, you sound like a fucking idiot anyways.
Now Sweetpea, go have another beer and calm the fuck down.

God Bless Texas

A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door, a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber's face.
The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also.
Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence. The robber yelled, “Well, did anyone else see my face?”
There were a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak.
Then, one old cowboy tentatively raised his hand, and while keeping his head down said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you......."

-Orbitup

It's true, I'm an outlaw.

I came out from work tonight and there was a "ticket" on my windshield from the security service that my employer uses. It was for not parking in a designated parking space - in other words, I had my wheels 2 inches over the line and therefore was taking 2 spots even though nobody parked within 20 feet of me. Never mind that I got there an hour before dawn, the lights were out in the parking lot due to electrical work in the truck yard and those fucking lines were last painted in 1992 when they first paved the parking lot.
Looks like somebody's in training to become a meter maid.......

Your comments from my post yesterday.....

So I got quite a few comments on my Union Thug bullshit and while I could see some real emotion and a huge difference of opinion ranging from Fuck you to Fuck you too, I have to say that I was pleased to see that everybody was civil. It didn't surprise me, mind you, (we're not a bunch of fucking lefties here) but there wasn't a single comment I felt I had to delete.
Thanks for your feedback, I really appreciate it.

Comments on the post below, please.

I made a post a few minutes ago about how I wasn't a union thug blah blah blah fart blah and got a couple of passionate replies right out the gate. Those fuckers wouldn't even let me finish my beer.
When I opened my comment moderation, I got hammered by two regular readers from 2 different directions which was major suckage because I ain't that quick after 4 tall boys on an empty stomach and a cat-scratched wolfdog. More about CharlieGodammit later. He seriously got his ass whupped tonight.
But it got me to thinking about what all you other fuckers might think.
Please post a comment on that post and let me know what you think about the post in particular, unions in general and that cocksucker Obama if you're buzzed and can't think of anything else.
All I ask is that you don't be abusive towards other posters. Respect their views, and respect their rights. I'll be real liberal (I HATE THAT FUCKING WORD) in my moderation if you can state opinion without letting emotion get too involved.
I know that I won't be stirring up a whole lot of conflict - let's face it, we're all have the same basic views or we wouldn't be here {fuck all you muslim goatfuckers that are here looking for camel toe pictures} reading all these right wing blogs to begin with.
But my first two comments were from opposite ends and I can see both points.
And I'll even allow the "F" word.

As always - please send all reloading information, dead animal pictures, death threats and feather boa promises to my regular email address.
Fuck Obama.

I ain't a union thug

So will all you motherfuckers please differentiate the difference between public and private sector unions before you start talking shit about Union Thugs?
The only person that I have make a difference between the two was the good ol' boy at Green Mountain Homesteading. Everybody else lumps all union members in the same mold.
We ain't.
I'm a union member and have been all my adult life, first Machinists and then Teamsters. And I'm so fucking conservative that I think Rush is a whiney liberal pussy.
While I do appreciate the fact that I make a good wage and have decent health benefits because of collective bargaining through my union, I do not agree (even a little bit) with my locals' political leanings, nor do I follow their voting "guidelines". Matter of fact, it's a great guideline for me to not follow - when I get it in the mail I study who or what to NOT vote for.
I was over at my folks house the other day and my dumbass California Girl niece started quizzing me about shit she heard on Fox News - shit like was I union thug and did I work for the Teamsters. I could not convince her (again, California Girl niece) that while I belonged to the Teamsters, I did not work for them and no, I was not a union thug by any means.
So will you please let folks know there is a difference? Some of us have to actually belong to a union in order to work at a particular job site. Just because we're there doesn't mean we agree with the politics.
Thanks.

It'll be less than an Xray. Really. Seriously.

SOMA, Japan – Radiation is spewing from damaged reactors at a crippled nuclear power plant in tsunami-ravaged northeastern Japan in a dramatic escalation of the 4-day-old catastrophe. The prime minister has warned residents to stay inside or risk getting radiation sickness.

Chief Cabinet Secretary Yukio Edano said Tuesday that a fourth reactor at the Fukushima Dai-ichi complex was on fire and that more radiation was released.
Prime Minister Naoto Kan warned that there are dangers of more leaks and told people living within 19 miles (30 kilometers) of the Fukushima Dai-ichi complex stay indoors.

*****

And the shit is headed our way. I gotta tell you, when I hear the words "Radiation is spewing" I feel a little less than comfortable.
I want you to think about something:
I don't trust our own government. Why in the fuck would I trust the Japanese government?

Mondays suck

CharlieGodammit barks once as is his habit so I get up and let him out.
He trots the perimeter of his yard to see if anything needs killing then heads back in to the house without pissing, shitting or anything.
2 minutes later he barks again. This time he pulls up short next to the camper shell and starts nosing around. He scoots into the shell and comes out with a kitten. Just about the time I start hollering "NO!" and run towards him, this pissed-off mama cat comes flying from behind the lemon tree, lands on his back and starts kicking the shit out of him.
My wolfdog is running full bore for the back door, freaked out with a wild motherfucking mama cat hanging on for dear life looking like a bull rider on the back of Little Yellow Jacket.
CGD hits the door, rounds the corner and heads for the breakfast nook trying to scrape that demon of his back.
No joy there. The table goes to pieces.
Then the motherfucker heads towards my bedroom with a cat on his back that is spraying cat piss everywhere. Luckily (I think) the door is closed. He bounces off that and heads for the reloading room. He pulls up short there (he ain't allowed in there), blows a U-turn, then hooks it back towards the back door.
Now, my Main Evil Cat decides to get involved. She also jumps on the back of CGD, not to kick his ass but to fight with the other cat. CGD now has two of the devils on his back fighting with each other. He's hauling ass. He heads for the garage with me hot on his heels so I can slam the door behind him. Now the only escape route he has is through his hole in the wall which is just big enough for him to squeeze through and I'm hoping he'll scrape both of them cats off his back on his way out.
No such luck.
The stupid motherfucker goes everywhere but out through his hole. I can hear shit clanging and banging over the dog/catfight everywhere as it's getting knocked over.
He finally pusses out and shoots out of the hole, runs for the house and cowers next to my chair.
My garage is fucking destroyed. I have welders, a welding table and my 30 gallon compressor on its' side. My chop saw is off the bench and on the floor. Shit that I had stored along the back wall is now stored all over the floor.
The kitten that started all this? It was busy getting it's butt licked by CharlieGodammit when I walked back into my house shaking my head in disbelief.
I can't believe he held onto it through all that shit.

Those eyes.....

And who says that tits or ass is all that a man notices.........

Everybody loves a threesome

See? I told you.

Betcha his name is either Claymore or Frag

Because you never know when you might need a bad-ass dog in a firefight.

Everybody loves muddin'

Fuck with me.........

Just think. That could've been me!

Botox Babes

Oh yeah. Real sexy.

My future second ex-wife

Ooooh, I bet that smarted.

CAMEL TOE!!!!!!!

Admit it. You checked, huh?

Man, I'll say!

-Yolo

Some things you just gotta do yourself

Somali pirates hold a Blue Light Clearance Sale!

MOGADISHU, March 13 (Reuters) - Somali pirates said on Sunday they would lower some of their ransom demands to get a faster turnover of ships they hijack in the Indian Ocean.
Armed pirate gangs, who have made millions of dollars capturing ships as far south as the Seychelles and eastwards towards India, said they were holding too many vessels and needed a quicker handover to generate more income.
"I believe there is no excuse for taking high ransoms. At least each of our groups holds ships now," pirate Hussein told Reuters from Hobyo on the Somalian coast. He said the pirates were holding more than 30 ships at the moment.
"We have lowered the ransom only for the ships we have used to hijack other ships. We sometimes release these ships free of charge for they generate more (money). But we shall not lower the ransom for the bulk ships we are sure can bring bulk money."

Oh, HELL NO!!! This is my bucket, Tyrone.

Definitely not a visual stimulation

Need to keep the muslims away? Piggy Barricade!

France shoulda thought of this.

At least he's blaming somebody besides Bush

In his Friday press conference to discuss gas prices, President Obama was rather defensive, straining to counter the notion that his administration has been unfriendly to oil drilling, something most people would like to see a lot more of these days.
Where do people get that notion? Perhaps his Interior Department appealing a judge’s ruling that it act on several pending deepwater permits had something to with it.
Obama claimed repeatedly that he is not against drilling, then made the following comments:

There is more we can do, however. For example, right now, the (oil) industry holds leases on tens of millions of acres — both offshore and on land — where they aren’t producing a thing. So I’ve directed the Interior Department to determine just how many of these leases are going undeveloped and report back to me within two weeks so that we can encourage companies to develop the leases they hold and produce American energy. People deserve to know that the energy they depend on is being developed in a timely manner.

In other words, Obama is arguing that the oil companies themselves may be to blame for the fact that there isn’t more drilling. For some reason they’re ignoring making a profit. It’s a bizarro-world inversion of the usual complaint against oil companies — that they are reckless and all-too eager to despoil pristine lands in search of black gold.

For the entire article go here.

Who'd have thought Japan would be the ones to nuke us?

SENDAI, Japan – The estimated death toll from Japan's disasters climbed past 10,000 Sunday as authorities raced to combat the threat of multiple nuclear reactor meltdowns and hundreds of thousands of people struggled to find food and water. The prime minister said it was the nation's worst crisis since World War II.

Nuclear plant operators worked frantically to try to keep temperatures down in several reactors crippled by the earthquake and tsunami, wrecking at least two by dumping sea water into them in last-ditch efforts to avoid meltdowns. Officials warned of a second explosion but said it would not pose a health threat.

*****

Well, maybe not much of a health threat to them....... What's gonna happen when they do have a meltdown is that there will be a huge fucking mushroom cloud of steam - highly radioactive steam - shooting up into the atmosphere where it will be carried away from Japan straight to...... the western United States. According to all the data I've seen, it'll take about 6-8 days to reach us. Some of it will be dissipated into the ocean (opening a whole new can of worms) but I can double damn guarantee that we'll catch a shitload of it.
I caught a great article over at Sipsey Street Irregulars about what may happen  plus a couple of great links.
So, if you want to see the jet streams and where the shit will hit go here:
http://www.stormsurfing.com/cgi/display_alt.cgi?a=npac_250

For real time radiation levels in several spots in the US, go here:
http://www.radiationnetwork.com/RadiationNetwork.htm

For the article at Sipsey Street Irregulars, go here:
http://sipseystreetirregulars.blogspot.com/2011/03/praxis-if-reactors-blow-and-fallout.html

Oh, one more thing for you to think about - if you think I'm preaching doom & gloom, think again. They're using seawater to cool the systems, which is an absolute last resort because salt water is so fucking corrosive. So yeah, they're sweating it. So should we.

FORE!!!!!!!

Japan just got severely fucked up, Libya is in political turmoil, soldiers are dying in Afghanistan for nothing,  our gas prices are going through the fucking roof and what does our Dear Leader do?

(picture stolen from Kicking and Screaming)

The motherfucker goes out and shoots his 61st round of golf since entering office.

Could somebody please explain to the motherfucker that President of the United States is not a 9-5, five day-a-week job? That he kinda sorta needs to stay on top of shit?

I mean it's not that big a sacrifice - after all, it's only for 4 years at the most.

Camelflage?

Maybe Babs Boxer should invest in a pair of these drawers......

And the woman on the left should invest in a long sleeved blouse to cover up them old-lady arms.
Not gonna say nothing about the dog on the right....... except where's her leash?

SF Residents Learn To Co-exist With Coyotes

SAN FRANCISCO -- Coyotes are an increasingly visible fact of life in many San Francisco neighborhoods, often straying beyond protected parkland and inspiring both awe and fear in residents.
Wildlife researchers estimate that about a dozen coyotes make their home in the country's second-most densely populated major city, which is surrounded on three sides by water. The first sighting in decades was reported in 2001.
The city's Animal Care and Control agency says reports of coyote attacks on humans are virtually nonexistent, but they have been known to chase unleashed dogs and prey upon the occasional cat.
The animals have made some enemies - mainly those who view them as a hazard to pets and children.
But advocates say coyotes are misunderstood creatures that add a thrilling taste of the wild to the urban landscape.

*****

And what are you gonna do when that so-called dozen turn into several dozen and then hundreds and all your liberal neighbors that won't allow guns or even air rifles in your fair city protest against DFG trappers?
Better watch the kiddies, coyotes can and do attack humans, especially little humans. Ask your brethren down in LA.

Why I could care less about thread count

Ahhhhh, clean sheet day!
Man, I love some clean sheets, especially the feel and fresh scent when you first slide in and before that first fart.
So today I stripped the bed and threw the dirty sheets into the washer and let the mattress air out a bit while I did other shit. A little later I threw the now-clean-but-wet bedding into the dryer and went to the closet for fresh sheets.
Hmmmm, where in the fuck are they? I know I have at least a couple other sets, should be right fucking there on the Clean Sheet and Dogfood Shelf and I kno...... Oh, that's right. Winter camouflage. Laying behind the front seat of my truck with god knows what else - busted salmon egg jars, year-old bank receipts, coyote piss in a can, moldy sunflower seeds, maybe even a set of storebought winter camouflage.
Don't you just hate it when that shit happens?

I should probably apologize, huh?

Man, I lost several followers over my posts on the Japan tragedy and you wouldn't believe the shittier-than-usual emails I've gotten.
Allow me to explain:
I generally wake up in a pretty good humor, especially when I had a decent nights' sleep. And the one thing I absolutely hate is chain mail and request for prayer emails for motherfuckers I don't know or care about.
Combine the two and you get a post like you got yesterday morning.
And now my apology:
Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

Wait long enough and somebody else will do it

White House hails Arab League no-fly zone request

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The White House says the Arab League has taken an "important step" by asking the U.N. Security Council to impose a no-fly zone over Libya and increasing international pressure on Moammar Gadhafi.
A statement from the White House says there's a clear international message that the violence in Libya must stop.
President Barack Obama has repeatedly called for Gadhafi to step down. But the U.S. has not been willing to impose a no-fly zone unilaterally. The White House says the U.S. will prepare for all contingencies and coordinate with allies.
The U.S. and its European allies wanted support from Arab countries to broaden the pressure on Libya. The Arab League wants the no-fly zone to protect civilians from air attack by Gadhafi's forces.

*****

Of course The Obamessiah hails their decision - after all, it wasn't his decision so that keep him of the hot seat. So basically, we've gone from a president that made a shitload of wrong decisions to a fucking president that's afraid to make a decision.
Wonderful.
He's so fucking concerned about his image that he stuck his head in the sand and waited for somebody else to do it.
That's our boy.........

Priorities, ya know?

MODESTO — Another Apple product launch, another long line at the Vintage Faire Mall.
More than 100 customers lined up Friday afternoon, waiting to get into the Apple store for a new iPad 2.
The second-generation tablet device was going on sale across the country at 5 p.m. local time.

Modesto Bee - DARRYL BUSH/dbush@modbee.com - A large crowd waits in line to buy the "ipad 2" a few hours before it goes on sale today at 5:00 PM, at The Apple Store at Vintage Faire Mall, in Modesto, Calif., on Friday, March 11, 2011.

The Cupertino company opened online sales of the iPad 2 at 4 a.m. Eastern time, well before they became available in stores.
Apple fans everywhere, including those in New York, were eager to get their hands on the device as they waited at the company’s Apple’s Fifth Avenue store.
The line of customers, including some who traveled from Japan and Russia, snaked through the street-level plaza above the subterranean store while bystanders gawked at the crowd.


I have no idea what these iPads go for (nor do I care) but I do know what my time is worth and I'll be damned if I would wait in line for hours and hours to buy something that I really don't need and will be widely available in a few days anyways.
Stupid fuckers.

A dog and his boy

Hundreds of mourners lined the main street through the Wiltshire town to honour Lance Corporal Liam Tasker, of the Royal Army Veterinary Corps, who was shot while on patrol in Helmand province, Afghanistan on March 1.
The crowds were swelled by family pets and a dozen police and Prison Service dogs at the repatriation ceremony for the 26-year-old soldier, whose dog Theo died from a seizure three hours after his master was killed.
L/Cpl Tasker’s family said they believe the dog died from a broken heart.

The body of L/Cpl Tasker, from Kirkcaldy, Fife, and the ashes of Theo had earlier been flown back to RAF Lyneham in the same aircraft.
L/Cpl Tasker was the subject of the repatriation ceremony but Theo’s ashes will be presented in private to his family.

Why Don't You Do Right

Excellent video - About the only to describe Peggy Lee is fucking sultry, almost slutty (but in a good slutty sort of way), both her voice and facial expressions.
Excuse me. I need to hit the cold shower.



Saw this at Atlas Shrugged and had to steal it.

Hey, I was just wondering.....

A redneck buddy of mine from work, originally from South Dakota, was scraping the bottom of his Copenhagen can Wednesday as we were talking. Roger was forever trying to quit chewing and was still half pissed because I managed to do it without too much problem.
"Welp. This is it, I'm givin' it up for Lent."
"Yeah, right. Besides, you gotta be Catholic to give something up for Lent" I said.
"I am Catholic" he says.
Okay, you know those things that pop into your head and out of your mouth before you even know it?
"YEAH? DID YOU GET BUTTFUCKED?"
He blew out his last chew, wasting it. "Wha.....? No, godammit, I was 31 years old, converted over to get my wife to marry......."
"THAT AIN'T WHAT I WAS ASKIN', MAN. DID YOU GET BUTTFUCKED?"
He just shook his head and walked off to bum a chew from Raudel, muttering something about why even bothering something something something.

Mmmmm........

Man, I've been slow cooking a pot of my favorite mess all morning.
Kinda sorta starts out as gumbo but takes a hard right turn after I punch it up a bit.
I got a bean pot that's got in it a pound of shrimp, a bunch of cut up beef, sausage and chicken, with lots of hominy, collards, okra, a couple of mashed up tomatoes, bell pepper, some garlic, red onion and a shitload of fresh jalapenos caramelized together. You might want to ventilate the house when you heat up the jalapenos. Add whatever leftovers you have in the icebox that ain't turning green yet.
Anyways, throw in a big and 2 small cans of Mexican hot tomatoes sauce, good sized can of regular tomato sauce and just enough water to make all that shit float, add a palmful of crushed red pepper, a couple of bay leaves and black pepper, then cover and simmer over a low heat for as long as you can stand it. I let mine go all day and sample and stir every half hour or so. That way I can also add more ingredients if I need to like the time I sampled all the fucking shrimp out of it as the day passed.
Serve over brown rice, mashed potatoes, or ladle it onto flour tortillas. Freeze what's left.
This will definitely keep you shittin' real good.

The Japan quake & big-ass wave

Man, I heard about this shit as soon as I turned on my phone this morning. I mean first thing, an hour before the sun was even up.
So I get online and read the news about it. Hmmm, a shitload of people killed, even more missing. Bummer. Earthquake and water will fuck up your weekend every time.
Then I go over to my blogs and read them, then back to the shake-n-wave.
I get bored with that and go over to facebook to see which one of my cousins pissed another off or who's in jail. Believe me, FB is THE way to keep up on family shit without actually having to see any them face to face. Anyways, all they wanna post about was more Japan shit. Dawn is just now breaking and I'm already getting just a little sick and fucking tired hearing about somebody else's problems and how I should pray for them.
Then I got my first touchy feely email from a friend (motherfucker just got his 'man card' pulled) asking that I keep the victims in my thoughts.  Then another one five minutes later.
Fuck that shit. Here's a thought:
Remember Pearl Harbor!

God Bless Texas

Courtesy of Orbitup