Saturday, February 07, 2009

For Ibeam the Mullet Hunter

Thanks, John.

Oh yeah. She's hot.

Damn Girl, go eat some bacon. Lots and lots of bacon.......

My future second ex-wife

Count 'em

We know she can count to at least 21

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....

Wrong, wrong, wrong

Guy is sitting in his living room watching TV when all of a sudden the door bursts open and his girlfriend storms through. "You fucking asshole!" she screams and heads into the bedroom. Stunned, the man walks toward the bedroom, wondering "now what have I done?"
Inside the bedroom he finds the girl furiously packing a suitcase. He asks her what's up. She responds with a hiss, "My therapist says that I should leave you and that you're a pedophile!" The man responds, "Wow... pedophile... that's a big word for a 12 year old."

Thursday, February 05, 2009


Sorry about the lack of posts these past couple of days but between work and life kicking my ass, I'm just not in the mood to laugh.
Check back tomorrow night,

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

The FEMA Genie

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water.
His horse has already died of thirst.
He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last
breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.
He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.
He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress.
There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. 'Well, cowboy,' says the genie.. 'You know how I work….You have three wishes.'
'I'm not falling for this.' said the cowboy… 'I'm not going to trust a FEMA genie.'
'What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!'
The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right.
'OK!, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink.'
The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen, and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.'
'My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.'
The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!'
After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says… 'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.'
He was turned into a tampon.
The moral of the story:
If the government offers to help you, there's going to be a string attached.

From Tattoo Jim

Me in 20 years

Yeah, rollin hard with my 41 magnum under my shawl, beer in hand and a stiffie (I hope).

Oooh, my favorite kind!

Fuck Gun Control

Australian Gun Law Update (if accurate the figures speak for themselves)

Here's a thought to warm some of your hearts...From: Ed Chenel , A police officer in Australia

Hi Yanks, I thought you all would like to see the real figures from Down Under.
It has now been 12 months since gun owners in Australia were forced by a new law to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed by our own government, a program costing Australian taxpayers more than $500 million dollars.
The first year results are now in:
Australia-wide, homicides are up 6.2 percent,
Australia-wide, assaults are up 9.6 percent;
Australia-wide, armed robberies are up 44 percent (yes, 44 percent)!
In the state of Victoria alone, homicides with firearms are now up 300 percent.
(Note that while the law-abiding citizens turned them in, the criminals did not and criminals still possess their guns!)
While figures over the previous 25 years showed a steady decrease in armed robbery with firearms, this has changed drastically upward in the past 12 months, since the criminals now are guaranteed that their prey is unarmed.
There has also been a dramatic increase in break-ins and assaults of the elderly, while the resident is at home.
Australian politicians are at a loss to explain how public safety has decreased, after such monumental effort and expense was expended in 'successfully ridding Australian society of guns.' You won't see this on the American evening news or hear your governor or members of the State Assembly disseminating this information.
The Australian experience speaks for itself. Guns in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and, yes, gun-control laws affect only the law-abiding citizens.
Take note Americans, before it's too late!

From my mother. Thanks, Mom!!

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....

Somebody get those kids some bacon... quick!!!!
Tattoo Jim

Monday, February 02, 2009

Gotta be California (again)


This is tooooooooo weird!
Have you ever noticed that if you rearrange the letters in “illegal immigrants” and add a few more letters, it actually spells out: “Fuck off and go home all you benefit stealing, kid producing, non English-speaking cocksuckers, and take those hairy-faced, sandal wearing, bomb making, goat fucking, mutton eating, smelly raghead bastards with you.”
How weird is that ??

Dammit Yolo, I just made nice with an apology and now you send me this knowing that I couldn't pass it up.
Good job.....

Bacon. Mmmmm, bacon.....

Never too much bacon......

Happy Birthday, Russ

It's been almost 24 years since you left this life of tears behind.
Miss ya, Bro.

Father of the Year

He takes the baby to a bachelor party?
And who's the woman in the background? The mother?
My kinda people......

Alaskan Clydesdale

Only in Alaska ....... This guy raised an abandoned moose calf with his horses, and believe it or not, he has trained it for lumber removal and other hauling tasks. Given the 2,000 pounds of robust muscle, and the splayed, grippy hooves, he claims it is the best work animal he has. He says the secret to keeping the moose around is a sweet salt lick, although during the rut he disappears for a couple of weeks, but always comes home....
There's bound to be someone out there that would raise an objection to using a "wild" animal for what he does, but I say Hey! if he always comes home, what's the problem?

Sunday, February 01, 2009

PS to my comment below

Bunk & Nightmare, if you'll hit the email link in my profile, I'd appreciate it. I'd like to thank ya'll personally for your comments.

My humble apologies

All right now, I'm going to do something I never did before, which is retracting a post.
Both Nightmare Believer and Bunk Strutt pulled my ass up short - I made a post that shouldn't have been made. I criticized another faith and not in a joking manner. I make a big deal out of the rights we have in the US and I just showed my narrow line of thinking with that post. Had it been a comment I wouldn't have published it and I am man enough to admit that I was dead wrong in posting it. I'll freely admit that I had a bit much to drink when I did make the post but that's no excuse. I apologize to any and all that read it and was offended.

Machinegun Granny

This is GREAT!!!!!!

From Tattoo Jim

Straight Up White Trash, God Bless him

Thanks, Bookmole

A Calico Buck

What a trip, huh?

Superbowl food

Thanks, Yolo