Saturday, May 21, 2011

Had to get this out of my system

Why in the fuck do people I see maybe every couple of years (unless there's a shitload of funerals in a row) or NEVER see think I'm interested in their lives? I have enough problems with my own shit, I don't want or need to hear about your fucking life
Take my cousin for instance. She recently got a job as a long haul truck driver - remember when female drivers were a novelty? - and every time I turn on my fucking computer there's a new one-line message from her.
"I'm in Iowa and yuck!"
"Kansas is so flat and boring."
"Maryland....... rude people."
"South Carolina is so humid."
"Can't wait to get out of Texas!"
"I haven't showered in 2 days."

Now I know you're a proud graduate of whatever trucking school you came close to flunking out of and you want to impress people with the fact that you actually crossed the state line but you know what? I could really give a flying fuck where you're at as long as your ass ain't planted on my couch eating my fucking food. And if you don't like traveling, FIND ANOTHER JOB!
But when and if you do, I don't want to hear about it every godammed day. You can tell me at the next funeral.
In the meantime get a twitter account so you can have people that really are interested follow your every fucking move, bitch and complaint.
Oh yeah, take that shower before you start marinating in your own juices.

And yes, I blocked your email address today, but I had to vent.

Attention all muslim readers

Every time I go to sitemeter and see a visitor from the mid-east, I check your page views and without exception they are in the Camel Toe catagory.
Will you PLEASE quit using my blog for beat-off material?
It makes me feel so....... dirty and used.
Fuck Mohammed.

Don't ask if you don't wanna know

I think the reporter bit off way more than she could chew when she asked Gene Simmons his opinion on the Obamessiahs' stupid fucking proposal.
Listen and laugh.

Rampage in Detroit

In the wake of bin ladens' death, muslims have gone on a rampage in Detroit, killing anybody that's Caucasian.
Authorities fear the death toll could rise as high as 2.

Texas Fred

Oh well......

So much for hunting today.
I had planned on grabbing a hot shower and a quick meal, then heading back out for another coyote this morning but I figured "Why go back out at midnight to be ready to shoot at dawn when it's less than a 50 mile drive?"
And seeing as I was seriously tired, I set my alarm for 3 AM and laid down for a couple three hours, only to wake up at 7 this morning.
I had set the alarm for 3 PM instead.
Funny how you can wake up cussing before you really even know why you're pissed, huh?

Save The Date

























-Orbitup

Friday, May 20, 2011

CharlieGodammit

Every evening CGD finds and brings me his leash so he can take me for a walk and visit with all the neighborhood kids. If I ignore him, he starts slinging that sucker around, banging the hasp on the furniture and my forehead. I've tried hiding it from him and sometimes I'm successful, but then he sits at the fucking door, 6 inches away from it and starts howling.
He's actually pretty good on a leash, although I never could get him to heel. He's got to be ahead of me. There's slack in the leash, but he's in front. Maybe he's protecting me, maybe he's still trying to dominate me a little bit, I don't know.
The one thing I insist on is for him to sit when either I stop or give him the command to stop. I want his ass on the ground and not fighting me in case I need both hands for something. And he's good about that, too - as long as he's leashed.
But tonight when I got in he did something that absolutely amazed the fuck out of me. He was patrolling his perimeter and I was watching from the back door 50 feet away munching on a pickle and for some reason I said "Stop". Not only did he immediately stop, but he sat and stayed until I gave him his release word.
Man, I couldn't believe it, so I did it over and over again until he got tired of it and came in the house.
I do believe the motherfucker is finally settling down. He's come a long way in the past year, from being feral to responding to voice commands and hand signals.
Now if he'll just stop burying his nose in the crotch of female company.......

I don't know, Doc. I just feel like I don't fit in.....

Back for the evening

Damn, I finally killed a coyote, putting an end (I hope it's the end and not just a break) to a long fucking slump. Ruined the hide, though - my bullet hit a rib on the way out and left a hole I could put my foot through. My fault, I grabbed a box of hollow points instead of the V-Max I meant to take. What can I say, it was early and I was in a hurry.

And while I was checking my blog, I saw another video of Rusty, the sleepy dog, that shows what really happened to him. I edited to original post to include Part 2 down below it.
It's every bit as funny as the first one, if not more.

So, after a shower and a hot meal I'm thinking of heading back to the same area (with the right ammo) and try to pick up another coyote.

Nap time Parts 1 & 2

Fucking hilarious!



And now, what really happened to Rusty:

CharlieGodammit

CharlieGodammit has a new thrill that while it pisses me off, I'm resigned to it.
Okay. While I'm in the shower, I leave my back door open. I know I'm vulnerable when I'm bathing and the water's running and I can't hear shit (shades of "Psycho" all over again) and I count on my wolfdog to protect me, but that motherfucker has also shit in the house when I couldn't hear him woof to let him out, so I leave the door open so he can let himself out, but still protect me when I'm nekkid and soaping up my nasty parts over and over again.
But the last few days, I can hear him thundering from the door into the bedroom where he leaps onto the bed and skids to a stop again and again and again.
By the time I get out, that 100+ pound motherfucker has wrecked my bed. I mean, my mattress is on the floor, the bedding is tangled, pillows are scattered and that sumbitch is sitting on top of the wreckage grinning at me saying "Hey, let's go for a walk, fucker."
I hate that damned dog sometimes.

Irish Fire Fighter

Paddy was walking along the street during his once-in-a-lifetime visit to New York when he rounds a corner and there's a high rise building on fire.
Paddy, ever the kind-hearted and resourceful Irishman, runs up to the building to see if he can help and notices people trapped five stories up.
Paddy yells to the people, "I'm Patrick Sean Michael Fitzpatrick, an Irish Fire Fighter on holiday. I'm also a Rugby Union fullback! If you jump, I'll catch you!"
One lady, in desperation, jumps and sure enough Paddy catches her.
Then a man sees that Paddy catches the woman and jumps. Sure enough, Paddy catches him as well.
Then a black man jumps out and crashes to the sidewalk. Paddy didn't even attempt to catch him.
Paddy looks up and yells, "Don't be throwin' the burnt ones...!!!!"

-Flamests

Thursday, May 19, 2011

I'm outta here

I'm taking off for a couple of days tomorrow - got a lot of shit on my mind, going stir crazy here in the flatlands, craving some alone time and need to kill something soft and fuzzy.
I can't afford it but I figure a tank or two of gas will be worth the peace of mind.
I've made a few pre-posts to keep y'all entertained but if the Obamessiah surrenders to Syria or something like that and I don't post about it, you'll know why.
Be back Saturday evening or Sunday morning.
Take care.

Damn, I barely missed it.

I idling through the store parking lot today when a fucking Smart Car pulled right out in front of me, so I accelerated.
Stupid motherfucker.
I'll ram a Smart Car faster than I'll run over a poodle and enjoy it more.

How to tell if there's a Lady Of The House


There’s pictures on the wall instead of barbed wire displays.
No cobwebs in the ceiling corners.
There’s no dead fish floating in the fish tank with the assumption the live ones will eat them.
There’s more food than beer in the icebox.
There’s no black powder guns in the dishwasher. And yes, you WILL own a dishwasher.
Towels and socks are folded even though who gives a fuck if they’re wrinkled or not.
Dinner is eaten at the table instead of over the sink or trash can.
Dirty clothes are in the hamper instead of on top of it.
Dogs get table scraps after you eat, not while you eat.
The refreshing aroma of Hoppes #9 is replaced by Glade.
There are no disassembled firearms on the table for any length of time.
The Christmas Bush is decorated with bulbs and shit, not bass lures.
The welcome mat says Welcome instead of Come Back With A Warrant.
There’s a little towel in the bathroom that you’re not allowed to use.
You own more than 2 pairs of Wranglers.
There are no animal hides awaiting tanning in the freezer next to the frozen food.
You have vegetables with your meat.
You have one little closet while she stores all of her shit in the spare bedroom.
You own a hair dryer.
There’s all kinds of weird shit in the bathroom that you don‘t want to know what it‘s for.
Reloading at the dining room table is a no-no.
Skinning poles and gambrels are out of sight of the kitchen window.
Dogs are not allowed on the furniture.
You have dinner guests - her friends, not yours.
You have to look guilty and say excuse me after farting.
Laundry is sorted before washing, not after drying.
She tries to feed you cheese and fruit and crackers for dinner.
Fish and small game are cleaned outside, not in the kitchen sink.
You have to wash your face after the dog kisses you on the off chance he licked his ass first.
Dinner must be planned instead of eating what’s available.
No live catfish in the bathtub awaiting cleaning after you get some sleep.
Laundry must be dried the same day it’s washed.
You have to answer your phone with Hello instead of Who the fuck is this.
You have to answer your phone. Always.
You suddenly own a cat and you‘re not allowed to kick it.
Your plants and lawn are green.
The carpet gets vacuumed whether the dogs are shedding or not.

No camouflaged furniture allowed.

Obama pushes for restoration of 1967 borders








WASHINGTON – Exasperated by stalled Middle East peace talks in a season of tumultuous change, President Barack Obama jolted close ally Israel Thursday by embracing the Palestinians' terms for drawing the borders of their new nation next door. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel rejected the idea as "indefensible" on the eve of his vital White House meeting with Obama.
The U.S. president said that an independent Palestine should be based on 1967 borders — before the Six Day War in which Israel occupied East Jerusalem, the West Bank and Gaza — as adjusted by possible land swaps agreed upon by both sides. He said Israel can never live in true peace as a Jewish state if it insists on "permanent occupation."

*****

Alienating and pissing off our strongest allies seem to be Wingnuts' greatest strengths.
We, as a Nation and as a people, have always supported Israel and its' struggle to survive in the face of overwhelming odds and now our supposed leader has stabbed her in the back.
Restoring the 1967 borders will not only force them to return one of the Jews' holiest sites (The Wailing Wall) but will also cause them to surrender the Golan Heights back to Syria, a nation bent on the destruction of Israel.
On the surface, it appears that the Obamessiah thinks that by giving back these lands will bring peace to the region, but in fact what it will do is cause the destruction of Israel. The koran commands all muslims to kill Jews and Christians wherever they meet them and giving up the Golan Heights will only make this shit easier for them.
It has become obvious to anybody that has even a slight understanding of what is at stake here that Obama will not be satisfied until Israel is obliterated from the face of the earth and the Holy Land is returned to and divided up amongst his muslim brothers.

To our Jewish and Christian Brothers and Sisters in Israel:
Please know that even though our current regime has turned their backs on you, we as a people have not. Stay strong and keep your faith in your leaders and military. You will prevail.

The picture was stolen from Bare Naked islam

Too bad it wasn't a live newscast

Andrew Klaven on The bin laden Effect

Honor, Service, Integrity

He's walking to the car parts store with his weapon legally openly carried and a voice recorder on when the Philadelphia police spot him and jack his ass up.
He's respectful and cooperative but listen to the first 7 or 8 minutes of the video. After several minutes of the bullshit, he's eventually released, but you know it was L-O-N-G minutes to him.
What's ironic is Philly PDs slogan - Honor, Sevice, Integrity.
This highlights the problem with many police officers' attitudes these days - you're either a victim or a criminal, there's no such thing as a normal citizen.



For the full story and an excellent post, go here.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Our 4th amendment

Given our court system today and the sheeple that runs it, I wonder how many States will follow in the footsteps of Indiana and render our Rights, particularly our 1st, 2nd and 4th  Amendment rights null and void.
Our 1st Amendment Rights are now under fire with the internet regulations that Obama is pushing, our 2nd Amendment were shot to hell in the 30s when they outlawed private ownership of automatic weapons by private citizens, and now our 4th is threatened with the recent ruling by the Indiana courts.
How much more of this bullshit are we going to take before we've had enough and start pushing back?
Notice I said "start pushing back" instead of start sucking ass and quietly resisting?
Enough is enough, people.
Godammit, our Bill of Rights are plain and clear. They were bought and paid for with American blood and we need to remember that.
Fuck this shit.

No lie, Barack

Me and my ex........

And this is why I call him CharlieGodammit

I woke up this morning and found my icebox wide open and damned near empty, food containers and wrappers strewn all over the floor.
I kinda sorta remember getting up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water. I must've forgot to close the bedroom door completely  and fuckhead got out.
He destroyed a weeks' worth of groceries. I have no meat, milk, cheese or vegetables. The only things he left was stuff in jars. He even ate the ketchup.
And earlier tonight he got up and headed towards the back door and thinking he wanted out, I got up and followed him. As I rounded the corner into the kitchen I saw the motherfucker lift a paw and open the godammed icebox.
Yeah, it's got a latch on it now.

I'M SORRY, DARYN!!!!!!

My remark was done in jest and I am so so so sorry. I did not mean any offense and I will do anything to make it right.
Please forgive me. Pretty please?
God Bless the United States Marine Corp and Chesty Puller.

I done fucked up, folks.
When I did my book review for "Cruel and Unusual Punishment" I included the line "The book is very informative and easy to understand, easy enough for an Okie and possibly even a Marine (Fuck you, Woody) to understand."
And Woodys' wife read it...... I didn't even know she read my blog. What's bad is not only is she the wife of a Marine, but she's also the daughter of a decorated Marine Officer.
What's really bad is that she sends me bacon treats via Woody. Some really tasty bacon treats......
Woody walked in tonight (he's working the night shift now) as I was leaving and I met him on the way out and I started bitching about how bad my day was. He started laughing and told me it just got worse. Daryn was pissed at me for disrespecting the Corps and I could kiss my Bacon Treats goodbye.
Mind you, she didn't say a thing about the "Fuck You Woody", but talk shit about Marines?
I'm fucked. Truly fucked.
I'm hoping this post will ease things a little. Maybe I should offer to cut the lawn and wash her car this weekend but I'm afraid Woody will take advantage of it and have her make me wash his truck, clean out his garage, and pull weeds or whatever.
Damn, no more bacon treats............

Mile Hi's Dingo, Roscoe chewing on some kindling wood.

I've known Mile Hi for damned near 20 years now, helluva great guy.
When I lived in Riverbank City of Action, I used to shop at his folks' store in the next town north because of the down home service they provided. I tripped when he later told me they were the owners.
I don't know if his brother still owns the place but I've bought my fish from Jonathans' Fish Market for years just because it was his family. Same kind of service, you know?
Me and Mile Hi used to rideshare to work a few years back. It didn't last too long - I still laugh about the day he came up and told me that it was done and over - "Because you're a fucking asshole, dude."
Gotta appreciate his honesty, you know?
And you gotta love a motherfucker that lets his dingo chew on sticks in the house......

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Mornin', Boys




































Yeah, I know. It's been a while.
Nothing like stockings and a nice ass to make a man feel like like a fucking man, huh?

No caption needed

Is it just me or does Moochelle look like she's striking a chimp pose in this picture? I mean, not only is it her stance but check out her facial expression.
But no, I'm not racist......

What can I say?

I'm sitting here tonight listening to CharlieGodammit at my feet just working the fuck out of his rawhide bone, slurping and popping and crunching and I'm not even paying attention or minding a bit, knowing that he's happy, alive and enjoying himself.
Yet it used to annoy the fuck out of me to hear my ex chew her food and gulp when she drank - fuck, she sounded like a mule I once owned when she drank, I could hear her in the next room.
She always said I loved my dogs more than I did her......
I guess she was right.

Come on, Summer!

It's 58 motherfucking degrees and raining in the middle of May here in Sunny Kalifornia and it's starting to piss me the fuck off.
You have to understand that the high point of my year is when my beloved Sonora Pass opens. The day that it opens to traffic is traditionally Mothers' Day (poor Mom) and I have been known to be waiting at the gates at Kennedy Meadows when Ranger Bob shows up to unlock the snow gates. If it happens to open on a weekday, that's an automatic sick day for me. Fuck work, I got better things to do.
This year, the Sierras got a whopping 199% of the normal snowpack, so I knew the opening would be delayed by a couple of weeks. I can deal with - I'm not fucking thrilled, but I can deal with it.
But with this cold front passing from west to east and rain here in the valley, it got put off even longer.
Yeah, I can travel easier routes to get to Eastern California - I-80 over Donner Pass and Hwy 88 over Ebbits Pass - but dammit, 108 over Sonora Pass is my stomping grounds. Less traffic and better scenery, you know? Right after it opens you can go from Kennedy Meadows to the 395 Junction and not see another fucking car.
Sonora is closed due to snow from November to early May most years but this year it looks like it may be June before they can plow it clear.
I may go into DTs if the weather don't clear.
Sonora Pass from the east last June

Sonora Pass from the west in September

I'm in love (again)


- Smokin' Hot

No, I'm not in love with the Crazy Russian, it's the AA12.......
I do like the part about halfway through where he says "Do not try this at home, I am a professional Russian" though. But I still wouldn't fuck him.

And John Moses Browning sits at the left hand of God

-Texas Fred

Mile Hi's latest tattoo

Fourth Amendment?

So I've been reading in the paper and online where Indiana has ruled that a Peace Officer can enter your house without a warrant any damned time they think they need to and if you resist, you can face charges.
So much for the 4th Amendment, right? I mean, that ruling just trashed it.
Then tonight I hit my favorite "Fuck The Feds" blogs and I read a fucking quote from an Indiana sheriff that says he can and will conduct random warrantless searches of homes if "he" thinks it's necessary.
What a fucking asshole. Maybe Nazi would be a better word.
Now Kalifornia is one of the most liberal states in the Union, but here, at least in my neck of the woods, you have the right to shoot an intruder in your home if you feel threatened and the local Law Enforcement is pretty damned tolerant about it. Example after example has been published in the local smut sheet and both the Chief of Police and County Sheriff has publicly said so.
My point? A fucking cop bangs on my door and demands entry without showing me a warrant, I'm gonna feel threatened. My house is my home, my sanctuary. This where I feel completely safe. No armed intruder (weapon drawn or not) will enter my home without my express permission or a fucking warrant. Simple as that. You enter my home without my permission, I'm going to shotgun your motherfucking ass back out the door or window you came through and I'll resist until the threat is gone or I'm not able to shoot anymore.
Yeah, I may die but at least my folks and friends will know I died for something I believe in - my Nations' Bill of Rights and my own fucking principles.
And I bet that a whole bunch of Indianans feel the same way I do.

Muslim dating service





























-Bella

I'd love to help out, Al. But......

Monday, May 16, 2011

Gotta love the South

President Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, President Obama?" a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Archie, down here at Joe's Catfish Shack, in Houston , and I am callin' to tell y'all that we are officially declaring war on ya!" 
"Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news!  How big is your army?"
 
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!"
 
Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
 
"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have to call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
 
"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.
 
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harrys' farm tractor."
 
President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
 
"Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
 
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."
 
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"  
Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed that many prisoners."

-Stevienatt

Throw the damned stick already!


-Skidmark

A Gotta Read book

I just finished "Cruel And Unusual Punishment" by Nonie Darwish and I have to say it really opened my eyes to sharia law.
Mrs Darwish is a former Egyptian and muslim that immigrated to the US and converted to Christianity about 30 years ago, so she knows what the fuck she's talking about.
She explains the origins of sharia, then goes on to explain the concept, and finally lays out the disaster that it is today, both in the middle east and the US.
The book is very informative and easy to understand, easy enough for an Okie and possibly even a Marine (Fuck you, Woody) to understand.
I highly recommend this book for anybody that's concerned with the muslim takeover of the world.
It's available at Barnes & Noble and also at Amazon for under 15 bucks, so spare the price of an 18 pack and get some book larnin'.

Thank God

Out of the presidential race before he was officially in it, the celebrity real estate mogul announced Monday he would not seek the 2012 Republican nomination. He could have won the White House, he said, but instead will continue to steer his business empire and remain host of his reality show "Celebrity Apprentice."

*****

Now we can concentrate on candidates that want to better our Nation rather than some egotistical motherfucker that thinks we should be as impressed with him as he is with himself.
We have that in Obama.......